Dinner AND a Show!
by Azure129
Summary: What happens when a bunch of people, some of them sort of romantically involved, start lying to and confronting each other only to end up eating dinner together at Chez Paris? Please find out by reading this story. HaroldXPatty and AXH. FINALLY UPDATED!
1. Lunchtime Lies

**A/N:**

Hello again HA! Fandom!!! Once again, I know I should be working on Tutoring Arnold (and believe me, I've got a lot of how it's going to end worked out—I got the greatest idea last week for the epilogue and I'm so excited about writing it!), but in the meantime there's been a few other stories (like the Changes one) that I've worked on in my spare time that I'd like to start sharing. This is one I've been wanting to write for a while that focuses a bit more on Harold and Patty's relationship—however, please be aware that there is also a ton of Arnold and Helga stuff in this one ;) It's more like Patty and Harold getting involved with Arnold and Helga's relationship and learning about their own than a straight HXP fic. This story really shouldn't be that long (as long as I don't get carried away) so I'll try to update as frequently as possible. Also, thank you to everyone who's reviewed the Changes preview so far—I really appreciate your opinions and I'm really excited to work on that story more.

**Setting:**

Story takes place after the HA! Movie, but before The Journal (since right after The Journal, Arnold would probably want to go off and look for his parents).

**Disclaimer:**

No, I do not own HA!, but if anyone would like to give it to me since Viacom and Nick don't seem to be doing much with their rights to it, I would not complain...

**Dinner AND a Show!**

**Chapter 1:**

**Lunchtime Lies**

* * *

"BRRRINGGGGG!!!"

The dull bell trilled throughout the hallways of P.S. 118, alerting its young students that yet another lunch period had finally arrived on yet another typical Friday afternoon.

Typical, that was, except for an exchange now going on between two students that would have attracted the curiosity of any of their fellow elementary-schoolers. However, the two young ladies in question had carefully chosen the privacy of the girls bathroom to have their conversation, which was now vacant as all of its inhabitants had abandoned its stalls, sinks and mirrors for the plastic tables and chairs of the cafeteria.

Helga G. Pataki leaned against the far wall of the bathroom. Part of her weight rested against her palms which were currently pressed against the sill of the window behind her. Patty Smith stood with one arm leaning against the edge of a sink, glancing over a few pieces of paper in her free hand. Though Patty's expression as she read silently to herself went quickly from scrutinizing to satisfied, Helga didn't seem to be aware of this fact and her face remained blasé as she glanced down and to the left, seeming to be in thought. A person who knew Helga well though would have realized, after a close observation of the slight line of sweat forming at her hairline and the fact that her knuckles were turning white as she dug her nails into the wooden windowsill, that she was actually quite nervous. As if to confirm this theory, the ten-year-old girl swallowed hard, though quietly, as the silence in the room continued. Patty did not notice.

Finally, Patty looked up from the papers in her hand with a big smile. "Hey, Mr. Frank gave me a B+!"

Helga looked to Patty and internally breathed a huge sigh of relief. A grin came to her face and she moved away from the window. "Really?! That's great!" Helga was happy for Patty, but also just a little proud that something she, a _fourth_ grader, had helped with had gotten such a decent grade from a sixth grade teacher.

What Patty had just finished looking over was her most recent report for English class (a poetry analysis to be specific), and her excitement came from the fact that with Helga's help the thirteen-year-old had managed to maintain her class average.

Patty walked over to Helga and used her free arm to give her a quick, very tight hug that actually pulled the blonde off the ground.

Helga coughed, "Uh, Patty? Patty!" She coughed once more with the force of Patty's arms around her.

Patty blinked and smiled sheepishly, letting Helga free. "Oh, sorry."

Helga straightened her dress and gave a half smile. "Uh, no problem." Helga knew the hug had just been a show of gratitude and she was truly happy that things had worked out for Patty with the paper, but she still couldn't help the twinge of discomfort at being made suddenly aware again that she was alone with one of the few kids at P.S. 118 with enough physical strength to take her down. Helga G. Pataki always used her words and her fists to keep herself safe, and being in a situation where the latter was gone was the teensiest bit unnerving. She swallowed though and brushed the feeling aside, turning to Patty again.

Patty took one more smiling glance at the paper before folding it up and putting it in her pocket. "You know, it's pretty cool how you know all that stuff about poetry and writing? If you don't mind my asking, how'd you learn it all anyway?"

Helga did her best to control a blush coming to her cheeks. She folded her arms behind her back and glanced up, trying to seem casual in her response. "Uh, you know—just a hobby of mine, heh heh." She looked at Patty now, smiling sincerely as she tried to move the focus of the conversation from herself to the sixth grader, "I'm glad I could help you out, Patty.

"Yeah," Patty leaned back against the sink, crossing her arms in front of her chest and smiling at Helga, "I was really surprised when Mr. Frank told me that Mr. Simmons mentioned that there was a fourth grader who he thought could help me, and even more surprised when it I found out it was you."

Helga blinked at the last part of the statement, unsure whether to be flattered or insulted. Under normal circumstances when given a choice between the two Helga always chose insulted but since she was dealing with Patty Smith who could transform into 'Big Patty' with a punch of a fist, she just looked at her unsurely.

Patty noticed the slight confusion on Helga's face and quickly explained, "I mean, I just didn't realize that poetry and stuff was part of who you are. Kind of like how sewing and cooking are kind of part of who I am, even though most people don't know it." Helga couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at this statement. She'd come to learn every since their near fight on the playground a couple of months ago that Patty was actually a really decent person but she hadn't been aware of these specifics

Patty was reflective for a moment before continuing, "You know, I'm glad I didn't pound you a few months back—we're actually a lot alike."

Helga smiled: she was starting to relax a bit more and she copied Patty's stance of leaning back against a sink. "Really?"

Patty shrugged. "Yeah, if you think about it. I mean we're both cool and smart, we both rule our grades," she smiled a little smugly and Helga reciprocated with a similar grin, "and we're both tough to everyone around us." Patty smiled thoughtfully to herself. "Well, except I usually let Harold off the hook, and sometimes Rhonda ever since that whole charm school thing…" Patty rolled her eyes and laughed to herself. Helga raised an eyebrow in curiosity, wondering briefly about what incident Patty was referring to. Patty came out of her reverie and continued, "And you usually let Phoebe slide a little…and Arnold."

Helga nodded absentmindedly for a second and then her eyes widened as she realized just what Patty had said. "Huh?!?!" The blonde girl's hands suddenly slipped forward off of the sink and her legs gave out, leaving her on the floor. Helga sat, her breath stopped and her eyes far too riveted on Patty to pay much attention to picking herself up.

Patty raised an eyebrow and stepped toward Helga. She offered her hand. "You okay?"

Helga managed to reach out and clasp Patty's palm, pulling herself up. "Uh, yeah— yeah, of course!" Helga took a breath and put on one of her signature scowls. "But I don't know WHAT you're talking about with the little Football Headed twerp! I-I mean," she lost her scowl for a moment and seemed to consider, then continued, "just this morning I shot thirty eight spitballs at him and pushed him into a puddle near a water fountain. And don't even get me started on what I've got planned for the rest of the day—"

Patty smiled and held up her hands defensively. "Okay, okay—I just meant I don't see you grabbing him by the collar and holding a fist in his face as often as most of the other kids."

"Yeah, well…" Helga scowled and looked away, arms crossed in front of her chest, "that's just because he's so short, it'd break my arm if I tried to lift him high enough to sock."

Patty laughed hard. She smiled. "You know, you two are kind of a cute couple. Like me and Harold, only you don't hang out together as much."

Helga choked on nothing. She coughed a few times and pounded her chest with her fist to clear it up. Her eyes bugged out and her face went pale. '_WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY?!?!?!"_

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!?!" It was the first thought in her head and the first thing out of her mouth (in a broken and rather high pitched voice) to the amusement thirteen-year-old before her.

Patty blinked. "What?" she asked genuinely confused.

Helga almost couldn't speak—she didn't even know where to begin. "Arnold and I are NOT—I mean, I can't stand that Football Headed little—uh, look I don't know what you're talking about but, uh, but…" She took a breath and composed herself. "Look, Patty I'm glad I could help you with your paper but like I told you weeks ago there's nothing going on with me and Arnold. We're just, just friends!" She glanced away. "Uh, not even friends really, more like acquaintances. I mean the only reason he even stood up for me to you that one time was because he's a do-gooder little shrimp who does stuff like that for everyone!"

"Okay, okay I believe you!" Patty said with a smile, rolling her eyes. "If things ever change though and you wanna talk about it, feel free to come to me."

"Yeah…whatever…" Helga managed to control her temper but she still kept the response distant, trying to communicate that she didn't want to pursue this topic further.

Patty stretched and checked the wristwatch on her hand, "Well, I better get to lunch. Harold's waiting for me."

Helga grinned and couldn't help herself, "It's been lunchtime for fifteen minutes and we're talking about Harold Berman—believe me, he's not waiting."

"Helga." Patty couldn't help but grin very slightly at the joke but she still felt the need to stand up for her friend.

Helga shrugged and rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. "Sorry—habit."

Patty sighed and walked towards the bathroom exit. Before pushing open the door though she turned back to Helga. "Thanks again for the help, Helga. If you ever need a favor or anything—"

The scowl on Helga's face weakened. "Don't worry about it, Patty. But uh, can you still…"

"Not tell anybody you helped me?" Patty finished. Helga had made this request almost every day that the two had worked on Patty's paper. "Sure, no problem."

Helga sighed in relief, "Thanks."

"You know, I don't think anybody would care if they knew you were smart about writing and stuff. I think they might even be impressed." Patty smiled at her.

"Yeah…maybe…" Helga genuinely considered Patty's words for a second. Quickly though she shook her head to clear it and continued in a pleading voice, "But—"

"Don't worry—your secret's safe with me." Patty winked and Helga got an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach at the way Patty had phrased the response. "See you in the cafeteria!" And with that Patty walked out.

Helga hesitated for a minute before leaving as well. She turned on a sink and splashed some cold water on her face, taking a deep breath or two. Then she looked at herself in the mirror and the monologuing began. "Why is it that one of the only people on the planet who thinks my love for Arnold is obvious just happens to go to this school and wants to be friends with me?!" She grabbed a paper towel, wiped off her face and tossed it violently into the trash bin. "And to make it even more of a nightmare she's practically engaged to one of the biggest blabbermouth's in the entire fourth grade!" Helga began to pace and gesticulate as she got carried away. "I mean, suppose she sits down to have lunch with him right now and as they move on to Mr. Fudgie bars she casually says, 'Nice weather we're having, Harold; man, that baseball game was a close one last week; oh by the way isn't it adorably obvious how much Helga actually likes Arnold!?'"

Helga shivered at the thought. She bent over the sink and scowled at her reflection in the mirror. "That's it—I need to talk to her as soon as school's over and make it clear that she CANNOT go around joking about me having a thing for Arnold, or me and Arnold having a thing for each other or whatever crazy conclusion she came to just because Arnold bailed me out of getting beaten up by her last month. If she slips about the writing thing, then the worst I'll have to do is some damage control (it's not like she has a book of my Arnold poems or anything), but if she does go around with something about us being _together_ I'll be dead! And Arnold…"

A look of fear came into her eyes. Ever since she had confessed to Arnold during the FTi incident, he had been tiptoeing around her at school to say the least. She'd yell at him or trip him or knock him into something and instead of his usual exasperated sigh and a mild comment, he would just look at her for a second like he suddenly had a pair of x-ray glasses that were showing him the inner workings of her emotions. Then he'd just nod or say a quick apology and be off. At baseball games he would nod to her instructions and take her insults without question, but otherwise they barely communicated at all. It had been driving her insane. However, she would have gladly taken this behavior over what he had been doing over the past few days. It seemed Arnold had gotten it into his head that he needed to 'talk to Helga' about something and as a result he had been approaching her at the most random times with a nervous look on his face, clearing his throat, and almost scaring her to death since half the time they had been out somewhere in public. In short, the last thing Helga wanted was something Patty was saying to the other kids to make Arnold start acting any weirder towards her.

Helga groaned to herself as these thoughts entered her mind. Suddenly though her stomach grumbled loudly and she sighed to herself, "That's right Helga old girl—just take care of it after school. For now I need some grub."

Helga walked across the bathroom and pushed open the door and walked out, a scowl appearing on her face as she entered the hallway and prepared to put on the show she always did for the kids of P.S. 118.

* * *

While Helga had been having one of her mini meltdowns in the bathroom, Patty had been making her way to the PS 118 lunchroom. In fact, she had just finished paying for her food and was about to walk to the table where Harold was waiting for her when suddenly she turned around bumped into something rather solid…and tall.

"Hey, what's the big idea?" She scowled and looked down at the contents of her lunch tray to make sure nothing had fallen off. Everything remained in tact though noticeably jostled, and some of her peas were now in her lime gelatin.

"Hey, I was walking here—Oh, uh, sorry Patty."

Patty blinked and then looked up at the person she had slammed into. Suddenly, the look on her face changed from annoyance to a smile. "Oh, hey, Torvald. How's it going?"

Torvald hesitated for a second, gave a quick glance to his left and right like he wanted to make sure no one was paying too much attention to their conversation, and then pulled out a piece of paper from one of his pockets. He smiled at Patty and said in a slightly hushed voice, "Actually, pretty good." He held up the paper in front of her face. "I just got back the grade of that practice test I took for getting into the sixth grade and look—I got a C!"

Patty's face lit up. "That's great Torvald!"

"Yeah, I know," he shoved the paper back into his jacket, "I've got those text books you loaned me to study from in my locker. After the real test next week I'll get them back to you."

"So those study sessions we've been doing have really been helping you? I never tutored anyone before so I wasn't sure if I was doing it right." Patty was mentally thankful for the fact that she had needed school help from Helga around the same time that Mr. Simmons had asked her to tutor Torvald, who was trying to finally move up to the sixth grade. She had been able to watch what Helga did that worked for her and try some of it with Torvald, and it was a really good feeling having it pay off.

Torvald leaned against the cafeteria wall. "Are you kidding—I couldn't even pass the fifth grade one two weeks ago and now I think I'll finally be able to get back to my normal grade level and go to junior high with the rest of you guys next year." He held out his hand and smiled wide. "I can't thank you enough, Patty."

Patty shifted the full weight of the tray to her left arm and shook Torvald's hand with her right hand. "Don't worry about it. Good luck on Monday. Maybe when you get your grades back we can celebrate somehow. Invite a few people to a party?"

Torvald released her hand. "Thanks, Patty. But, uh," a look of hesitation came to his face and he glanced from side to side again, "can we still not tell anyone I'm trying to do this until I get the grades back from the real placement test? Just in case." He rubbed the back of his neck, "I mean, I haven't even mentioned anything to my mom because I don't wanna get her hopes up, you know."

He glanced at the floor. A look of concern came to Patty's face. She reached her free hand up and put it on one of his shoulders. "Sure, Torvald. But I know you'll do great."

Torvald smiled and looked up again. "Thanks, Patty."

Patty removed her hand and smiled again. "Hey, why don't we meet one more time to study on Sunday? At my house?"

Torvald crossed his arms in front of his chest and nodded. "Yeah, sure. I could go for that. Same time?"

"Uh huh."

"Cool."

"Hey Torvald? What in the heck are ya doin'?"

"Yeah! Boy howdy, are you getting a whole 'nother lunch or something?"

Torvald glanced back to the table where he had been sitting. Stinky and Sid were waving at him to come back over. He raised his hand to the two boys and gave a quick shout, "Just a sec." He turned back to Patty. "See you Sunday."

She waved and began to walk off in the direction of her and Harold's usual table. "See you, Torvald."

"Oh hey, say hi to Harold for me," he called over his shoulder as he turned back to his friends, "Me and the guys don't see him as much at lunch ever since you two started hangin' out."

"Sure, Torvald!" And with that, Patty went to finally go eat lunch with Harold Berman.

* * *

Patty sat down and placed her tray on the table. "Hey Harold. Sorry I'm late. My, uh…appointment with the guidance counselor was a little longer than I thought it would be." Patty hated lying to Harold, but Helga HAD taken the time to help her out on that poetry thing and not telling anyone about it WAS the ten-year-old blonde's only request in exchange for doing so.

"Uh huh," Harold replied, a slightly miffed look on his face which Patty ignored.

Patty took a bite of the burger on her tray and a sip of milk from her carton. "Hey, the cheeseburgers aren't that bad today. What do you think?"

Harold pushed some of the food around on his tray and had a preoccupied look on his face. "Yeah, they're okay I guess…"

Patty stopped chewing for a second and eyed Harold suspiciously. Something was definitely bothering him. "Harold, is there something you want to tell me?"

Harold dropped his fork and his eyes widened a bit. "Huh?!" He glanced to the left, "Uh…no, no…"

Patty waited another second for him to continue. However, he didn't and so she turned back to her sandwich and took another bite in silence.

Harold seemed to consider for a few more seconds. Finally he spoke up, trying to sound as casual as possible. "So…uh," he scratched his head and glanced at her, "what were you talking to Torvald about?"

Patty glanced up. "Hmm?" She swallowed.

Harold seemed frustrated as he spoke and he was still just playing with his food instead of eating it—not a good sign. "Well I mean…I don't know," he scratched his head, "You've been spending a lot of time with him and...I was just wonderin'—why?"

Patty put down her sandwich and took a sip of her milk. "I like him Harold. We're friends. Oh, and he said to say hi to you."

Harold went back to playing with his food, though much more harshly than before. A scowl was on his face. "Oh yeah, well, you're friends with Sid and Stinky and Arnold and everyone but you don't go spending everyday after school with any of them." Though, as Torvald had requested, Patty had not mentioned the fact that she was helping him move up to the sixth grade, see guessed some of the other fourth or sixth grade boys must have seen her and Torvald walking in the direction of the library or away from the school together over the last few weeks. In fact though, Patty had only been spending two days a week after school and Sundays tutoring Torvald. The other three school days for the last two weeks had been spent working with Helga on her paper. However, she couldn't explain this to Harold without betraying the trust of both friends (and besides, it was interesting seeing Harold acting so protective of her).

Patty couldn't help the small half grin that came to her face. "Harold, are you jealous?"

"No! Of course not!" Harold crossed his arms over his chest stubbornly and pushed the food tray away from his body in response to her question. "I'm just sayin' it looks like Torvald likes you and you like Torvald, and—"

"Harold," Patty put down her sandwich and addressed him calmly and with her usual smile, "I've just been really busy with some things lately. You spend time with the other fourth graders playing baseball every afternoon. Why should me spending time with Torvald be any different?"

"Well...it just IS, is all!" Harold allowed his fork to slam down onto his tray. He folded his arms and scowled, turning away from Patty. "I mean, what are you two doin' together that's so great, anyway?"

Patty closed her eyes and sighed to herself. She really wanted to explain everything to him but she had promised Torvald that she wouldn't say anything until after Monday's test (and she had promised Helga she wouldn't say anything _at_ _all_.) "Harold, I know we haven't had a chance to do a lot of stuff together, but I promise next week we'll go play some games at the arcade or catch that new Evil Twin movie that's coming out, or something. Okay?"

Harold sighed and his scowl softened. Finally he picked up his fork again and took a bite of his food. "Okay, I guess. I'm sorry, Patty. I know that since we're in different classes and grades and everything it's hard to—"

"Hey, Patty."

Patty turned around only to see the most inconvenient person imaginable standing right behind her chair with a smile on his face.

She swallowed the bite of sandwich in her mouth and tried to put on a smile though she was practically cringing as she imagined the look that must be on Harold's face. She managed to reply politely as usual though, "Uh, hey Torvald. What's up?"

Torvald rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. In his other arm he had held against his chest a few small plastic dishes filled with a white, thick substance. "Uh, well, me and Stinky dared Sid to eat 17 tapioca puddings in a row without puking, and well, he only made it to 12. Do you want one of the extras?"

Patty cleared her throat and couldn't help blushing. "Uh yeah, sure, Torvald. Thanks."

Torvald tossed one of the plastic dishes toward her. Patty put it in front of her and saw Harold's face for the first time: He was scowling darkly and drumming his fingers on the table.

Torvald looked across the table at Harold, still smiling. "Hey Harold, you want one too?" He slid one across the table to Harold.

Harold didn't move as the dish stopped against the tray in front of him. "Yeah, thanks," he spat.

Torvald didn't seem to notice his attitude though and just glanced back at Patty, still smiling. "Well, see you later."

Patty gave him a quick smile. "Uh yeah. See you, Torvald."

The thirteen-year-old girl sighed to herself and turned back to Harold. She smiled innocently. "Uh, so anyway about next week—" Suddenly Patty noticed Harold tossing the plastic cup lightly up and down in one of his hands almost as though he was planning to throw it somewhere…or at someone.

Her eyes widened and she reached across the table, grabbing the cup from him. "Harold, no! You know what Principal Wartz said—one more problem in the lunchroom this year and you'll have detention every Saturday until June."

"Oh, Whatever!" He scowled to himself again and sighed in frustration. Patty looked at him with concern, hoping he would be able to control his temper. Finally though, he settled on expressing his anger by just chugging the last of his milk carton and crushing the empty cardboard in his hand. Patty breathed a mental sigh of relief.

Harold sighed and looked to Patty again. "You said we could do the arcade and everything all next week right?"

Patty nodded.

"And he's not coming along too or anything is he?"

Patty shook her head.

"Good." Harold seemed to be fine now that he had been reassured of Patty's promise. He even took his spoon and took a small bite of the pudding Torvald had brought over.

Patty smiled to herself and sighed mentally, happy any disaster had been averted. She finished her hamburger.

"And at least there's Sunday, too," Harold suddenly added absentmindedly.

Patty's eyes widened. She dropped a spoon containing some of her peas onto her tray and looked at Harold. "What?"

Harold was eating some more of the pudding. "You know—Sunday after my cousin's Bat Mitzvah she's having a big party in her backyard and she invited us. There's gonna be a magician and horse rides and a band. Remember, I told you about it at lunch a few weeks ago."

Patty swallowed hard. "Harold uh…I…" Patty could have kicked herself—'How could I forget about that and makes plans with Torvald to study!' She glanced away from Harold. "I don't think I can go."

"Aw come on!" He stood up suddenly from the table. "I've been lookin' forward to this for weeks. There's gonna be a fountain that spews chocolate for cryin' out loud! You promised we'd go together."

Patty blinked. "Harold, I'm sorry, I—"

"Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why can't you go?!"

Patty couldn't help the scowl that came to her face. Jealousy was flattering to an extent and she knew she was being a bit secretive but she wasn't appreciating the third degree. She stood up as well. "Look Harold, I just have something I have to do, okay? I'm sorry I forgot about the party."

"And I bet it has something to do with Torvald, doesn't it?!"

Patty blinked again. She didn't want to just directly lie to Harold by saying 'no,' and also if she told him 'no' and anyone else from PS 118 saw her with Torvald and word got back to Harold about it, he'd never trust her again. "Well—" she started with a guilty voice.

"I knew it!" He pointed an accusing finger at her.

Patty sighed deeply and did her best to get her temper under control. She wasn't in the mood to have a shouting match with Harold attract the attention of the entire cafeteria, inevitably leading to a mob of elementary-schoolers circling around the both of them and screaming 'Fight! Fight!' Instinctually, Patty glanced around before continuing the argument to see if they had indeed attracted any attention.

To Patty's surprise and confusion though, the cafeteria's attention seemed to be specifically focused on something happening on the opposite end of the room. "What's going on over there?"

"What are you talkin' about?" Harold turned from the argument for a second as well and looked in the direction Patty was pointing. There seemed to be a group of kids in a semi-circle around one of the tables talking and laughing. Both thirteen-year-olds finally focused their attentions away from each other and onto whatever the commotion was.

"UGH, I'm going to KILL you, you Football Headed little JERK!"

Helga G. Pataki stood towering over SOMEBODY at one of the lunch tables…and she appeared to be covered in milk which was now pooling into a white film at her feet.

"Helga, I'm sorry I—" Arnold stood up instantly and grabbed a napkin from the table. Instinctively, he began to dry and blot some of the milk from her dress.

The second she felt the pressure of his hand against her stomach she jerked away. "OOOH! Just get away from me, Arnold!!! I've been telling you that for the last ten minutes—leave me ALONE already!!!"

Patty couldn't help but raise an eyebrow in concern as she saw the look of pure distress on Arnold's face. He pulled his hand with the napkin away, stared at it for a second, seemed to blush, then threw the napkin back onto the table. He rubbed the back of his neck, then cleared his throat and said calmly (trying to ignore the stares of the people around them) "Helga, I was just trying to talk to you—"

"Well don't!!!" The blonde cut him off, a very emphatic look on her face. "Don't talk to me about ANYTHING Arnold! Don't sit next to me and DON'T knock a whole carton of milk into my lap! What's wrong with you?!" The snickering of the other kids began to increase.

Patty glanced at Helga and couldn't help but raise an eyebrow in curiosity. She knew Helga had a temper but usually the ten-year-old would let something like this go with a few minor threats and insults. Instead, she sounded desperate, almost panicked about whatever had been taking place between her and Arnold.

Patty's stare became even more surprised when she saw Arnold's reaction to Helga's exclamation. She knew Arnold to be a pretty levelheaded kid and just about the most non-confrontational person in existence, especially when it came to Helga. But instead of apologizing to Helga again, he suddenly gave her a brief but hard look…like he had a response to her question but for some reason wasn't saying it.

Helga's mouth instantly closed at the look, her eyes still wide and her hands still stretched out in mid-gesticulation. There was a thick tension in the room suddenly as a strangely taken aback Helga seemed to be calculating her next move. Patty couldn't help but empathize with Helga's situation—being a tough girl suddenly caught in a conflict with everybody looking to see what you would do next and knowing that whatever you decided might affect your reputation for the rest of your life wasn't easy.

Suddenly (and much to Patty's surprise) Helga gave a quick glance left before turning back to the situation at hand, slowly reached out a hand toward Arnold and (obviously reluctantly, in Patty's opinion) grabbed his shirt collar and gave a weak effort at jerking it upward. Arnold just kept looking at her, his eyes wide now though and betraying the fact that the tiniest bit of the confidence he had had seemed to be waning.

Helga swallowed hard. She took a breath, then began slowly, "I, I ought to deck you right now, Football Head." A hesitation, "Yup, right now, I ought to..." Another hesitation, "And, and that's what I'm going to do…" she glanced to the left again, and her voice sounded almost impatient.

At the sight of the fight in the making, Patty stood up from the table without thinking and began to approach the two fourth graders.

Harold came out of the trance of watching Arnold and Helga as he noticed Patty's movement. "Hey, where are you goin'?" he asked with genuine confusion, "It's starting to get good."

Patty walked swiftly across the lunchroom, right through the circle of onlookers (who started whispering even more at this new development), and right up to Arnold and Helga. She looked at both kids but eyed Helga in particular with a slight scowl. "Is there a problem here?" She put her hands on her hips.

A touch of fear came to Helga's eyes. Patty watched as the fourth grader seemed to be struggling with what she should do next. Suddenly, Helga's eyes lit up like she'd just gotten an idea or realized something. She gently released Arnold and put both of her hands behind her back, replying innocently, "Uh no...there's no problem, Patty. We were just—"

"BRRRIIIIIINNNNGGGG!!!"

At that moment the bell went off signaling the end of the lunch period. At the sound, all of the kids looked instinctually to the pulsating bell and then started to pull away reluctantly from the circle to gather their empty trays and obey its command to return to class. All of the kids that was except Patty who had jerked her head around left and up toward the bell (and the clock which was right next to it) and then back around instantly. She was now eyeing Helga very suspiciously. She watched as the young blonde gave an almost imperceptible sigh of relief at the sound of the bell and rolled her eyes. Suddenly Patty blinked and glanced back at the clock again. '_That was where Helga was looking before she grabbed him…_'

The bell finished but just as the crowd was about to grab their stuff and head out the cafeteria doors, they hesitantly glanced back at Arnold, Helga and Patty as though waiting for some grander conclusion to the fight.

Helga looked around her and scowled. "Alright you bunch of chuckleheads, show's over!!! Football Head may deserve a good punch in the face but I'm not about to get detention for being late to class AND pounded by Big Patty all for the sake of teaching him a lesson. Now get your butts out into that hallway!"

And so with a few shrugs and some disappointed murmurs the kids began to clear out of the cafeteria. Helga crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Arnold for a second before turning away and joining them.

Patty watched as Arnold walked back to his friend Gerald, who said a few words that Patty couldn't make out to the young boy. Arnold only sighed and shook his head in response to his friend. Gerald put a hand on his shoulder and smiled, said one final thing, and departed along with the rest of the kids with a hesitant and concerned look on his face.

Seeing most of the kids had already gone, Patty considered for a second and then walked over to Arnold. "Uh, hey, Arnold. Are you okay?"

"Huh?" Arnold was surprised to see Patty standing before him. It seemed to her that he had been in deep thought about something before she'd interrupted him. He shook his head to clear it and continued, "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for trying to help, Patty."

She smiled. "No problem." There was a moment of silence. Patty cleared her throat, "So uh, problems with Helga?"

Arnold gave a small sigh and grabbed his empty tray from the table. "Something like that…" he replied in a listless voice.

Patty hesitated for another second. She wanted to help Arnold, but she knew she wasn't nearly as good as he was at this whole 'listening and giving advice thing.' She figured she'd just try her best though. "Anything you wanna talk about?"

The two kids started walking toward the cafeteria exit. Arnold did his best to give her a smile. "Thanks, Patty, but uh, I promised…I just think someone might be uncomfortable if I went into details with another person about it. Okay?"

Patty smiled and nodded._ 'I'm having the same problem myself, Arnold_,' she couldn't help but add mentally as she recalled the current Harold/Torvald situation. "I understand."

Arnold gave her an appreciative smile back.

"Just remember what you told me," Patty continued, "Helga's not so bad, deep down."

Arnold glanced off at Helga who was just exiting the cafeteria and the frustrated look came back to his eyes. "I know. I just…I wish she would let me—" His eyes opened wide as he remembered that he wasn't alone with his thoughts anymore but in the presence of another person. He cleared his throat and glanced down.

Patty smiled to herself again. "You really care about her, don't you?"

Arnold blinked and a slight blush came to his face. His mouth opened, but before he could say anything…

"Hey, Patty!"

Patty turned around to see Harold running toward her. "Hey, what happened?" he asked confused. "I was about to bet Chocolate Boy six Mr. Fudgies that Helga would take Arnold out with one punch. No offense, Arnold," he added with a smile to his friend.

Arnold rolled his eyes and gave a slight smile. "Don't worry about it, Harold." The three students were all at the trashcans by this point and Arnold threw out his tray. He turned to Harold and Patty. "I'll see you guys later. Thanks again, Patty." And with that he finally exited the cafeteria as well.

Patty stared for a few moments in the direction Arnold had gone, seeming to be in deep thought about something.

She was brought out of her thoughts by the feeling of someone tapping her on the shoulder. "Patty? Hey, Patty!"

She blinked and turned around to see Harold with both of their trays in one of his hands. "Come on, were gonna be late to class."

Patty shook her head to clear it. "Oh, sorry, Harold. I was just thinking about something. Thanks for getting my tray."

"Aw, don't worry about it." He waved her off and tossed both trays into the trash. She smiled again.

There was a brief moment of silence and then Harold cleared his throat. "So um, listen Patty I'm—I'm sorry about the whole Torvald thing. I know I shouldn't get mad or anything, it's just…" a small blush crept into his face and he started to speak more quickly, "you're one of my best friends and the coolest girl I know and, you know, I like spending time with you and everything and—"

"I know, Harold," Patty said with a smile, saving him from the feeling of embarrassment at continuing his explanation, "and I'm sorry about Sunday. I should have remembered—I mean you did tell me about it two weeks ago."

Harold smiled and rubbed the back of his neck. "Ah, don't worry about it. It's not that big of a deal anyway."

The two pushed open the cafeteria doors and walked out into the hallway. "No, it's important," Patty stated firmly. "I've been neglecting our friendship a little, I guess. If you're free, would you like to do something on Saturday instead?"

Harold beamed. "Well, sure. That'd be great, Patty." She noticed him blush slightly as he realized the over-enthusiasm of his reaction. He toned his voice down a bit and continued, "Uh, so, what do you wanna do?"

Patty shrugged. "I don't know. We'll think of something after school, okay?"

"Sure." Harold smiled. "So…um," he shuffled his feet a bit then asked shyly, "could I maybe walk you to class?"

Patty smiled. "Of course, Harold. Thank you."

And with that the two thirteen-year-olds headed down the hallway to resume of the rest of their school day.

* * *

A/N:

Thanks for reading chapter 1—I hope you all liked it! Please check out chapter 2 for more hilarious antics!

AXH FOREVER!!!


	2. Reservations

A/N:

Here's chapter 2! Enjoy!!!

Disclaimer:

Uh, I own Arnold dolls and Arnold VHS tapes and I'm actually pretty sure I have something with CB's autograph around here somewhere that I paid way too much for on eBay, but sadly I do not own the rights to this series. Curse you, Viacom and Nick!

**Chapter 2:**

**Reservations**

* * *

"So, what were you and Harold fighting about at lunch today, Patty?"

Patty jumped as she closed her locker. She'd been a bit lost in her own thoughts when this question said by a very familiar voice in a suspiciously curious tone had brought her suddenly back to the reality of the halls of PS 118.

"Oh, hi, Rhonda. Uh, I don't know what you're talking about—are you sure you don't have us confused with Arnold and Helga?"

Rhonda scoffed, "Oh please—Arnold trying to be nice to Helga and Helga blowing up in his face? Old news." She made a gesture of waving off the standard piece of gossip. She smiled and continued, "What I'm talking about is what was going on between you and Harold five minutes before that started. There was definitely some yelling going on at your table and then didn't Torvald come over at one point?" She put her hands on her hips, a wry grin on her face.

Patty could tell Rhonda's nosy nature was eating-up this chance for new gossip. She sighed, "Rhonda, wasn't one of the first things Madame Parvenu taught us in charm school that you shouldn't pry into other people's business?"

Rhonda cleared her throat and smiled innocently. "Oh come on Patty, we're not STRANGERS or anything. Besides, nothing exciting's gone on in this place for a while and it's been making school an absolute bore!" She clasped her hands together. "From one girlfriend to another, give me all the juicy details—please!"

Patty sighed to herself again and rolled her eyes. She knew that if she didn't give Rhonda SOMETHING this interrogation would never end. She grabbed her backpack off the floor and began to walk down the hall, Rhonda following eagerly. "We didn't really have a fight. I just forgot I promised to go to his cousin's party on Sunday and already made other plans that I can't break. So we decided to do something Saturday instead." She shrugged and smiled. "No big deal."

Rhonda gave an exasperated sigh and looked disappointed. "That's all?"

Patty nodded, "Mmm Hmm."

Rhonda crossed her arms over her chest. "Well there goes my last chance for any decent gossip in this school." Suddenly though, her eyes lit up and a curious smile came to her face. "Unless what you're doing on Sunday instead has anything to do with Torvald???"

Patty scowled and stopped walking. "Rhonda, don't."

"It does, doesn't it!!!" Rhonda was practically squealing with delight. "Oh, Nadine and the other girls will be absolutely shocked!!! I know a lot of people have seen you two together lately, but I can't believe that—"

Patty grabbed Rhonda by the shoulder and made sure to give her a firm squeeze. Not enough to hurt Rhonda but enough to remind her who she was dealing with and to let her know that she was serious. "Rhonda, what I have to do on Sunday is nobody's business. Don't start spreading some kind of rumor that it has anything to do with Torvald or else…"

Rhonda swallowed hard and tried to smile innocently. "Oh come on Patty—uh, if Madame Parvenu didn't want us spreading gossip, I'm positive she also didn't want us pounding each other."

Patty released her grip. "I would never hit you, Rhonda." Rhonda smiled hopefully. With a smug smile Patty began walking down the hall again. "I'd just tell everyone I saw you making out with Curly."

Rhonda's face lost all color and she tripped forward a few feet to catch up with Patty. "You—you wouldn't spread around a lie like that! Besides, I—I'd deny the whole thing!!!"

Patty shrugged. "Yeah but, Curly wouldn't." She pointed down the hall where Curly just happened to be watching the two girls approach and blowing kisses at Rhonda.

Rhonda visibly cringed and sighed in defeat, "Oh, alright. I wasn't really going to spread a full-blown rumor about you anyway, Patty. I mean, I do love gossip but you are my friend after all. I was just looking for a new conversation topic, but I guess you and Harold is a dead end too."

Patty smiled and absentmindedly added, "Well, there's always Arnold and Helga." Patty gestured with her head to the doors of the school that the girls were now approaching. A few kids were stopping to watch as yet another altercation between the two students in question seemed to be occurring.

"…and don't ever try to touch my books AGAIN, EVER Football Head or I'll rip out your throat and spoon feed it back to you! Got it!!!"

"Helga, I was just trying to see if I could walk with you for a minute to…uh, to talk…"

"What does it take to get you to leave me alone?! I've already cut you a few breaks this week Arnold-o but don't think that's gonna keep up. In case you haven't noticed, patience isn't exactly one of my many virtues!" Helga sighed in frustration and stomped off down one of the hallways and into the girls bathroom with a scowl. As had happened in the lunchroom, Gerald approached Arnold and appeared to say a few words to him, and again Arnold's face remained as listless as ever. He gave a reply to his best friend and then went off by himself down another hallway into the boys room. Patty and Rhonda watched as Gerald just shook his head, seemed to hesitate, then sighed and headed out of the building.

Patty's thoughts and the look of concern on her face were interrupted by a bored sigh from Rhonda, "I told you—old news. Arnold and Helga have been fighting with each other since the dawn of time." She seemed to consider for a moment, "Though I guess he _has_ been pretty determined to get on her bad side lately. Maybe there's some kind of angle there?"

Patty blinked and glanced at Rhonda nervously. Helga had seemed pretty adamant about denying that her and Arnold liked each other even though Patty could see there was at least something small between them—she probably wouldn't be very happy if this conversation with Rhonda suddenly led to their feelings being public knowledge.

Patty was brought out of her thoughts by the sound of Rhonda adding in a more jaded tone, "Still it's probably just Arnold trying to do the right thing and Helga being in one of her usual bad moods." She shook her head. "This school really is dead in terms of gossip."

Patty smiled and mentally breathed a sigh of relief that Rhonda didn't seem interested in pursuing the subject of the two fourth graders much further.

The girls walked out of the doors of PS 118 and into the pleasant spring afternoon outside. Rhonda turned to Patty. "So, are Harold and you doing anything fun on Saturday, then? You know, there's supposed to be marvelous skiing this weekend in Aspen. Mummy and Daddy and I can't go of course because it's the weekend of the big charity fashion show at the country club, but you and Harold could—"

"Actually," Patty cut Rhonda off politely. Rhonda tried sometimes, but Patty didn't think she'd ever be able to control her innate desire to show off to people, "I was thinking I'd make him a nice dinner at my house. You know, something simple."

Rhonda rolled her eyes. "Oh come on Patty, I know you're a great cook but you two have been unofficially together for almost a month now. You should do something special—"

"Rhonda, Aspen's a little out of both of our price ranges." Both girls stopped as they reached the bottom of PS 118's stoop.

Rhonda waved her off. "Well, then what about a nice dinner out for a change. There're a lot of nice restaurants around the neighborhood and one's that aren't too expensive. Oh, what's the name of that one that Arnold and Helga went two a few months ago?" Rhonda appeared to be thinking hard.

Patty blinked. "Arnold and Helga?"

"Hmm?" Rhonda was too busy thinking to really pay attention to Patty's comment, "Oh uh, yeah. They went with Gerald and Phoebe after Helga won some kind of gift card from the school raffle. If PS 118 could afford dinner for four at that place the prices can't be that bad." She snapped her fingers once or twice as she tried to recall the name, "Chez something…Chez Jean? No…uh, Chez Henri? No, that's in Paris. Oh yes, that's it—Chez Paris!" She smiled at Patty. "You two should go there!"

Patty looked unsure. "I don't know Rhonda…I mean, me and Harold like each other… a lot. But that sounds too much like an official date." She couldn't help the slight blush rising into her cheeks. "I mean, we've only ever just hung out before so there hasn't been any pressure, but going to a fancy restaurant might make us feel…uncomfortable."

Rhonda shrugged. "Well, why don't you take another couple along with you then. That way it'll be more of a group thing instead of a regular date?"

Patty considered. "I guess so…but I don't really know anybody I could ask." She turned to Rhonda. "What about you? Is there anyone you could come with?"

Rhonda's eyes widened and she blinked. "Me? _Please_ Patty—I've got far too many social obligations as it is to have a regular boyfriend on top of it all. Besides, in case you haven't noticed it's kind of slim pickins' in the fourth grade." Rhonda jerked her thumb to the right where, less than 100 ft away, Sid and Stinky were screaming 'Chug! Chug!' while Curly funneled an entire gallon jug of Yahoo soda.

Patty couldn't help but grin at the sight. Suddenly, a limo pulled up in front of the two girls and honked its horn.

Rhonda turned back to Patty. "Well, chauffer is here to take me to piano lessons. Do you need a ride anywhere, Patty?"

Patty shook her head. "That's okay Rhonda. I think I'll try and find Harold before he goes home to talk to him."

Rhonda entered the limo. "See you, Patty. And good luck!" she winked.

Patty did her best to hide her blush as waved at the black car now pulling away. "Bye, Rhonda."

Patty sighed and adjusted her backpack on her shoulder. She walked back towards the open doors of PS 118, keeping an eye out for Harold Berman. _'I hope he didn't get on the bus already…'_

"Hey, Patty!" Patty turned to see Harold smiling and running towards her from the sidewalk.

Patty smiled. "Hi, Harold."

He reached the top of the stairs and put his hands on his knees, panting a couple of times before standing up to talk to her. "So…" he took some deep breaths, "Did you decide what you wanna do on Saturday?"

Patty was seriously considering just telling him to come over to her house like she had planned originally, but somehow a part of her actually did want to try Rhonda's suggestion of a real, official dinner out together. After all, they were both thirteen—wasn't it getting close to the time for 'date' dates instead of just throwing rocks at dumpsters and goofing on people?

Patty swallowed hard. "Actually, Harold, I was thinking and…well, I was wondering if you'd like to go out to dinner somewhere. I mean, nothing too expensive or adult-ish. Just some French food at that Chez Paris place that's nearby."

Harold's eyes widened in understandable surprise, "Really?" He scratched his head, "I mean, we've never done something like that. Are you sure?"

"Uh yeah." Patty could feel her nervousness building. "I mean, unless you don't want to…" Suddenly, she found herself channeling Rhonda's words, "Of course, it's not like it would be just us. I mean, I was thinking of inviting another guy and a girl too. You know, like a group thing...I mean, so we could split the cost of appetizers four ways instead of two and junk." She glanced at Harold nervously.

Sure enough, Harold definitely seemed to relax a little at this last statement. "Oh… yeah sure, that would be cool. " Patty raised an eyebrow as a scowl briefly came to his face though. "Torvald's not the guy you're inviting, is he?"

Patty almost laughed, "No, Harold. Torvald's not coming."

Harold smiled again. "Oh, good." There was another awkward moment of silence between the two thirteen-year-olds. Suddenly, Harold cleared his throat, "So, uh, who were you thinking of inviting?"

Patty blinked. She didn't have a clue. "Uh, well…"

"OW!"

"Ow!"

Patty was saved from answering the excellent question by the sound of two people colliding at one of the hallway corners to her and Harold's left. Both thirteen-year-olds turned to stare at the sight.

Helga and Arnold were sprawled on the floor. Helga sat up, rubbed her head and opened her eyes. There was a brief look of terror on her face at the sight of whom she had slammed into. She quickly shook it off though and picked herself up off the floor, resuming her usual scowl. "SHEESH already, Arnold!!! Do I have to start chipping you or something to make sure that you stay away from me once and for all?! This is the third time today I've had to deal with you disrupting my life, for crying out loud!"

Arnold was standing up now as well, and to the surprise of Harold, Patty and Helga (luckily no one else was around to witness the scene since the rest of the kids had cleared out of the school by now), he replied in a low and frustrated voice, "Well, this is about ten thousandth time you've disrupted _my_ life Helga, so I guess we're almost even."

Helga blinked. He never answered her back. Ever. Patty raised an eyebrow, interested to see what her reaction would be to this sudden development. Even Harold couldn't help but whisper to himself, "Wow—he's dead."

Helga's eyes narrowed sharply. Her fists clenched at her sides, fingernails digging into her palms. In a low and acidic voice she slowly asked, "What did you just say to me?"

Patty had never seen Helga stare anyone down that harshly before. "Harold, I'll call you tonight with the details about Saturday, okay? See you." Patty's mind was suddenly so focused on Arnold and Helga that without thinking she gave Harold a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving him to enter their conflict again just like she'd done in the cafeteria.

The action took Harold completely by surprise. Patty was already half way over to Arnold and Helga though by the time he came out of his shock enough to mumble to her, "Okay…talk to you later…Patty…" And with that Harold slowly exited the building occasionally touching the place on his cheek she'd kissed, a noticeable bit of scarlet on his face.

Patty, meanwhile, approached the two ten-year-olds smiling and asked very firmly, "Hey guys, anything the matter?"

Helga ground her fist into her palm. "No but there will be in about five minutes after I beat the stuffing out of Arnold-o here and he needs the paramedics to take him home instead of the bus!"

Patty scowled and cupped the fist Helga was making in one of her own hands, stopping the blonde girl's threatening gesture.

"Hey!" Helga yelled, trying to free her hand.

"Helga, you know I'm not going to let you hit Arnold, right?"

"Oh—oh fine!" Helga had tried once more to free her hand but the grip of Patty was too strong. She finally gave up with a frustrated sigh. "But you know this isn't all my fault or anything—he's the one who won't leave me alone."

"Well, I have a reason." Arnold looked seriously at Helga.

Patty noticed the flash of terror come back to the young girl's face. However, Helga quickly shook it off again. "Oh, just shut up you little—"

"Okay, enough." Patty cut Helga off with her firm tone. Both fourth graders looked to her.

Patty released Helga's hand and sighed. "Helga, can you stay here for a minute. I want to talk to Arnold about something and then I want to talk to you." It was really more of a command than a request, so although Helga didn't say 'yes' it was obvious by the resigned look on her face that she wasn't going anywhere.

Patty grabbed one of Arnold's hands and pulled him around the corner and down the next hallway.

When they reached the end of the hallway, Patty released Arnold's hand and looked at him questioningly.

Arnold put his hands behind his back. "Uh, Patty, thanks for helping me with Helga—I appreciate it." He smiled at her, "If it's okay though I'd just rather work things out with her on our own. I know her and…no matter what she says, she won't hurt me. Not really." He started to blush. "We've just got some things that we—"

Patty couldn't help mentally sighing to herself. _'Sometimes I wish the two of them were thirteen too—it would be so much easier to get them to admit what's going on between them.'_ "Arnold?" Patty cut him off, rubbing her temples in exasperation, "Would you like to come to dinner with me and Harold Saturday night?"

Arnold blinked. "Huh?"

"We're going to Chez Paris for dinner tomorrow. It's kind of a group thing. Do you want to come?"

"Um, I guess…" Arnold replied, not wanting to be rude by refusing the invitation. Still, he looked seriously confused. "But why?"

Patty sighed and put a hand on his shoulder. "Let's just say it wouldn't be a party without you. Besides, you seem like you could use a night out. Are you in?"

A look of confusion passed over Arnold's face at this statement. After a second though he just shrugged his shoulders. "Sure."

Patty smiled. "Great, I'll call you tonight with the details."

"Okay," Arnold replied, "Since it's a group thing, should I call anyone else and ask them if they want to come?"

Patty smiled and winked. "Don't worry, Arnold, I'll take care of everything. See you tomorrow."

"Okay. Bye, Patty. Thanks. " With a smile Arnold turned around and headed for the exit of PS 118.

Patty just shook her head as she watched him walk away. She took a deep breath though as she recalled that she had one more person to talk to right now to actually put this plan into motion. So, she headed up the hall to start her conversation with Helga G. Pataki.

* * *

"Hey, Helga!" Patty called firmly as she approached the fourth grader. She knew she'd have to put on a bit more of a tough girl act to swing Helga.

"What?" Helga asked acidly. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she was leaning against some lockers and glaring at Patty.

"It looks like you and Arnold are having some problems."

"Hey, he's the one who won't leave me alone!" Helga turned away.

Patty got in front of her. "Helga…" she said impatiently.

Helga growled in frustration. "Oh I don't know what's going on—he just keeps bugging me and I have a reputation to maintain in case you've suddenly forgotten what that's like."

Patty considered for a moment before responding, "No, I haven't forgotten, but there's no need to make huge scenes in the hallways and the cafeteria just to prove some kind of point." She lowered her voice a little, "To be honest, I've been talking to some people and it seems a bit more suspicious that you keep building up huge arguments with Arnold instead of just letting him off like usual or just beating him up like you keep threatening to do."

Helga swallowed hard and her eyes went wide. "Wh—what do you mean by 'more suspicious?' There's nothing to be suspicious _about_. He's just really been bugging me lately and I just—just keep getting interrupted is all. I mean between you and the bell and other stuff, I— "

Patty lowered her voice even more, and scowled at the girl before her. "Helga, I know the only reason you grabbed him in the cafeteria was because I used it as an example in the bathroom. And the only reason you grabbed him when you did was because you looked at the clock and knew the bell was going to ring any second. The fact that I came along was just another excuse for not going through with hitting him."

Helga's eyes went very wide and Patty knew she'd guessed right. Over the years Patty too had used more than her fair share of tricks to maintain her reputation without necessarily pulverizing every single person who'd ever challenged her—as long as the threat was there and something legitimate interrupted it from being carried out, people still took you just as seriously as if you had actually gone through with the pounding.

Patty moved a bit away from the girl and sighed, still scowling. She went back to her normal tone of voice, "Look Helga, the point is that if I keep having to break up your fights it's going to affect _my_ reputation. I _start_ poundings, I don't _end_ them. And also, I'm too busy with my own stuff to be regulating the fourth grade. You need to calm down. Now."

Helga regained some of her attitude and turned away from Patty, a weak scowl on her face. "Whatever."

Patty sighed again and her face changed from angry to sympathetic. She put an arm on Helga's shoulder. "Listen Helga, I know you've probably got a lot on your plate too." She smiled slightly. "So, uh, why don't you come to dinner with me and some other people on Saturday night to relax a little bit."

Helga looked at Patty with a mix of confusion and suspicion. "What are you talking about?"

Patty shrugged and did her best to sound casual. "A few friends and I are going to Chez Paris tomorrow for a nice dinner. Come on, I think you'd enjoy it. Besides, I still feel like I owe you for helping with me with my paper. What do you say?"

Helga glanced away for a second and seemed to be thinking things over. Patty raised an eyebrow as she saw a small smile come to the girl's face for a second as though she were recalling something humorous. Suddenly to Patty's shock Helga mumbled, "_Arnold's_ not going to be there, is he?"

"Huh?" Patty was completely surprised. _'How did she…?'_

Helga blinked at the sound of Patty's voice and looked up at her. "Huh? Oh sorry, Patty. I was just talking to myself" she shook her head like she was clearing her mind of something, and continued, "…Uh, sounds good, actually. Thanks, What time should I meet you?"

Patty smiled. _'That was close.'_ "I'll call you tonight to let you know, but maybe around 7?"

"Okay." for the first time during the conversation, Helga smiled back. She reached out and the two girls shook hands. Helga rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. "And, uh, I'm sorry if I snapped at you a few times, Patty. I've just been a little…preoccupied lately."

Patty raised an eyebrow and smiled smugly. "Boy trouble?"

Helga's eyes flew open wide. Her jaw dropped slightly and she stood there, mouth half-agape.

Patty laughed to herself. "Kidding! You need to get a sense of humor, Helga. See you tomorrow." She waved at Helga and walked toward the doors of the school.

Helga cleared her throat and tried to regain her cool. "Uh yeah, see you." She took a few steps away towards the lockers (she still hadn't gotten her backpack yet considering all of the drama with Arnold), but then seemed to remember something and ran back to Patty. "Uh Patty?" she tapped the sixth grader on the shoulder. Patty turned around, an eyebrow raised. Helga continued, hands behind her back. "Listen, I know you don't mean anything by it but along with the writing stuff can you not mention anything about me and Arnold to anyone too?" She blushed slightly and cleared her throat, "I mean, not that any of it's true—I hate that little twerp. The last thing I need though is people going around with the wrong idea, you know?"

Patty smiled. "No problem, Helga."

Helga swallowed and mumbled, "thanks" before making a dash back to the lockers to get her stuff.

Patty, meanwhile, was laughing to herself as she walked down the stoop and away from PS 118 for the day. If she needed something to make this dinner with Harold less awkward, inviting Arnold and Helga along without them knowing was the perfect solution. They were friends with both her and Harold, but not some incredibly lovey-dovey couple who would make the evening romantically awkward. Besides, how could anything be awkward with that much comedy relief right at the table? '_And'_ she added mentally to herself, '_maybe I'll be able to seriously pay Helga back for her help. Heck, if this works out good enough she'll probably even owe me one...' _And with that Patty continued on her way home, ready to put her plans into action the following day.

* * *

A/N:  
That would be chapter 2!!! Please read on for more crazy hijinks and awkward situations :)


	3. Setting the Table

A/N:

Okay, here's chapter 3!!! I spent all yesterday writing and I've definitely got something that I like and I hope you'll all like it too! So get some cookies and a hot drink and settle in for another nearly 9000 words of Azure129 randomness (I love being on vacation—I finally get to write!!!)

**Dinner AND a Show!**

**Chapter 3:**

**Setting the Table…**

(Before you even ask, yes, the bad food/dinner puns as chapter titles will indeed be continuing ;) ).

* * *

"Hey, Harold!"

Following his brief and strangely intimate goodbye with Patty, Harold had left her to do whatever she was planning to do to stop Arnold and Helga from coming to blows. Now he was currently sitting on the idling bus outside of P.S. 118, a slightly confused expression on his face as he touched the spot on his cheek where she had kissed him.

"You who, Harold!" The second calling of his name came from a different voice and actually managed to catch his attention as it was coupled with two of his closest friends who had suddenly popped up from the seat in front of him waving their hands in his face.

Harold blinked with surprise as he saw Sid and Stinky's grinning faces.

"Huh? Oh…hey guys. What's up?"

The two boys glanced at each other mischievously, and then looked to Harold. "Well, I guess we should be asking you the same question, lover boy?" replied Sid with a smirk.

"Huh?!" Harold asked, feeling his heartbeat quicken and his stomach drop.

Sid and Stinky began to laugh uncontrollably. Suddenly, Stinky managed to get himself under control enough to start singing. "Harold and Patty sittin' in a tree…"

Sid joined in at this point. "K-I-S-S-I-N-G!!!" And with that they two boys practically fell over each other in laughter.

Harold felt himself blush. Scowling and glancing around to see if any of the other kids had overheard them (luckily there weren't too many people on the bus yet), he suddenly gripped the two boys by their shirt collars, though the threatening gesture did little to curb their hysterics. "Hey, shut up!"

Stinky and Sid managed to pull themselves from Harold's grip, still with grins a mile wide on each of their faces. Sid cleared his throat. "Oh come on, Harold—what _was_ that back there?"

Harold felt himself blush darker and he glanced away. "I-I don't know what you're talkin' about!"

Stinky crossed his arms in front of his chest and gave Harold a sly look. "Well, I reckon we're both talking about how we saw Patty KISS you before you left the school just now."

Sid chuckled again. "Yeah, boy howdy, I knew you two liked each other now and everything but I didn't realize that you LIKE-liked each other!"

Harold made a fist and glanced briefly and nervously at the few kids starting to get on the bus who were eyeing the three boys with curious stares. He noticed Arnold and Gerald among them. He turned back to his 'friends.' "I said, SHUT UP!" he hissed at them.

Sid and Stinky's faces became serious for a second but then they suddenly glanced at each other and burst into laughter again.

After a few seconds, Sid managed to get himself mildly under control again. He looked at Harold, actually brushing a tear from his eye. "Oh come on Harold, you have to admit it's a little funny that" he lowered his voice slightly, though not enough for Harold's comfort, "you're Big Patty's boyfriend now."

"Yeah," Stinky chimed in, elbowing Sid. "I bet they're even gonna start goin' out on dates and everything!"

Harold swallowed hard, recalling his and Patty's plans for dinner the day after tomorrow. He moved in closer to Stinky and Sid and yelled in as low of a voice as he could so as not to attract any more attention, "I'm NOT her boyfriend! And we're NOT dating! We're just friends and she was just sayin' goodbye and I don't know why you guys are making a big deal out of it!"

"Aw Stinky, he's blushing—you guys ARE going on a date, aren't you?!"

Sid hadn't exactly said this last sentence quietly, which caused Harold to blink and swallow hard in fear of what would happen if the rest of the elementary school caught wind of this sudden development between himself and Patty. Luckily, though, the driver had chosen just that moment to start the bus' engine and close the doors as the last of the students finally got on, which muffled Sid's question quite a bit. Harold swallowed hard and thought fast. "Aw, o-of course not! No way! You guys are just makin' me mad and it's making my face all red. Now cut it out or I'm gonna pound both of you right here and now!"

Sid and Stinky looked at each other again with uncontrollable grins. "Harold and Patty sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S—OW!" they suddenly yelled in unison.

"Hey, some of us have to deal with you two chuckleheads enough everyday between school and baseball practice. Could you at least give everyone a break on the bus? Crimeny, I feel like my ears are bleeding!"

Rubbing the backs of their necks, Sid and Stinky turned scowling toward Helga G. Pataki who had just hit them both from behind with her backpack and who was now smirking at them. Harold couldn't help but blink and raise an eyebrow at his very unexpected savior.

"Sheesh, Helga! That hurt!"

"Yeah, garsh, we were just talkin' about Harold and Patty—"

"Yeah, yeah." Helga rolled her eyes and put a hand on her hip. "Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't we already go through the two of you making stupid jokes about Harold and Patty hanging out about two months ago?"

Sid blinked. "Well, yeah, but…" he smiled, "We just saw them kissing, and—"

"We were NOT kissing! We were just saying goodbye and—" Harold started.

"—And," Helga cut the boys off and finished for them, "You two are just acting like a bunch of jerks because you're jealous that there's no way either of you could get a girl to be your friend let alone like you enough to actually spend time with you even if you were the last two guys on the planet. Am I in the ballpark?" She raised an eyebrow at the two boys, a satisfied smirk on her face.

Sid and Stinky's mouths instantly closed and a slight blush appeared on each of their faces.

"I thought so," Helga finished, swinging her backpack back over her shoulder. "Now you idiots keep it down and cut it out before I smack you with something a heck of a lot harder than this!"

She rubbed her temples as she walked to the empty seat behind Harold's. "Like I don't have enough of a headache today already…" she mumbled under her breath with an exasperated sigh as she slid into the seat as the bus pulled forward to begin its route.

The three boys were silent for a very awkward few seconds, just looking at each other.

Finally, Sid cleared his throat and spoke up a little sheepishly. "So, uh…anyway…anyone got any plans for the weekend?" He looked from Stinky to Harold.

"Uh…I heard there's supposed to be some kind of triple feature at the movies Saturday night on account of the new Evil Twin movie comin' out next week." Stinky suggested, hesitantly.

Slowly the awkwardness was getting a little easier to manage for the boys. Sid smiled slightly. "Oh yeah, I heard that too—Evil Twin I, Evil Twin II and Evil Twin III: Country Cousin back to back but you only have to pay for one ticket." Hesitantly, he turned to Harold. "You, uh…you wanna go, Harold?"

Harold opened his mouth but then hesitated. He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced away. "No…I'm-I'm busy Saturday."

Sid and Stinky looked at each other, and then turned back to Harold. Sid cleared his throat and blushed slightly. "Listen Harold, we're…uh…we're sorry about, you know, teasing you about Patty."

"Yeah," Stinky added. "We know that you guys are just friends."

"Yeah," Sid agreed. "So come on, we promise—no teasing. We'll even buy you a Mr. Fudgie bar each at the movies. What do you say?" He smiled sincerely.

Harold sighed, finally losing the last bit of his anger. "Thanks, guys…but I'm not mad or anything. I just promised someone I'd do something with them Saturday night so I can't go."

Without even thinking, Sid grinned and began to speak. "Heh—Is that when you're going out wi—" The deathly glare he received from Harold shut him up instantly. "Sorry." He quickly amended.

"I'm just…I've just gotta go to some stupid thing with…with my parents. We have to—to buy a present for my cousin's Bat Mitzvah on Sunday. Yeah. Remember, I told you guys about that?"

"Oh yeah," Stinky confirmed. "So I guess that means you can't do nothin' Sunday either, huh?"

"No," Harold said in a disappointed tone. He glanced up at his friends though suddenly and smiled. "But we could do something today. You guys wanna maybe go the arcade or something?"

The two boys smiled at their friend. "Sure," said Sid.

"You wanna meet up there after dinner?" asked Stinky.

"Yeah, okay. Around like 7?" Harold smiled.

Slowly the bus came to its first stop. Stinky grabbed his backpack and stood up. "Okay, I'll reckon we'll meet you there, Harold."

Suddenly, Sid grabbed his backpack as well and stood up along with Stinky. "Hey, Stinky and I were gonna watch some Pop Daddy episodes at my house now and maybe get a pizza afterwards. You wanna come with us and then we can all just go out after that?"

Harold considered for a second. Usually, he would have taken up Sid or Stinky on an offer like this in an instant. But for some reason, even though he wasn't quite angry with them anymore (thanks to Helga, randomly enough), he just wasn't in the mood to be around anybody right now; especially with all of this stuff about Patty to think about.

"That's okay, you guys go ahead. I wanna…get some of my homework done since I'm gonna be busy all weekend."

Stinky shrugged. "Okay, reckon we'll see you later, Harold."

"Yeah, see ya," added Sid.

And with that the two boys exited to the sidewalk below. The door closed and the bus pulled forward again.

Harold took a deep breath when they left, happy they hadn't pestered him for too many details concerning Saturday, and VERY happy that their teasing had stopped before the whole bus had caught on. '_If it wasn't for Helga…_' He raised an eyebrow at how strange the beginning of the thought sounded to him. Slowly, he shifted to the outer edge of his seat and glanced around behind it to where he'd seen Helga sit down before.

Sure enough, she was leaning her back against the bus window and had her legs extended the length of the seat. Her arms were crossed in front of her chest and her eyes were closed. Since they'd only been on the bus for about five minutes though, Harold figured she couldn't be asleep yet.

"Um, hey, Helga?" he said in a low voice trying not to attract attention.

She blinked a few times and then stretched, opening her eyes. "Hmm?" She yawned as though she actually had been about to nod off, then finally noticed Harold. She rolled her eyes. "Oh brother, what is it now?"

"Um…" Harold glanced away for a second, not really sure how to put what he wanted to say. He looked back at Helga. "Well, I just wanted to say…you know, thanks, for uh…for helping me make Sid and Stinky stop before everyone got the wrong idea about me and…you know, Patty." He glanced away again.

Helga shrugged and glanced casually to the side. "Hey, I just didn't wanna have to keep listening to those yahoos try and carry a tune until my stop came. It's not like I did it to help YOU or anything."

"Yeah…" he glanced down again. "Well, thanks anyway." And with that he went back around to his own seat. It was funny—Harold never really had much contact with Helga, but her actions suddenly reminded him of the time they had been stranded together during the fourth grade field trip to the Yahoo Chocolate Factory. He had actually gotten to know her a little on that trip, and he'd realized the interesting fact that they actually had a lot in common and that Helga could actually be a decent person. He couldn't help but almost laugh as he recalled how much fun they'd had at the wrestling match after getting back to the city. _'Maybe next time the guys all go to Wrestlmania we should ask her to come too?_' Under normal circumstances he knew it would have seemed weird to let a girl tag along to something like that, but he knew Helga would actually appreciate the whole thing a lot more than most people.

"Uh, Harold?"

He blinked as the surprising sound of Helga's voice interrupted his thoughts. He turned to see her leaning around the outside of her seat to talk to him just like he had done to her before.

"Yeah?"

She cleared her throat, trying not to make eye contact with him. "Uh, look—you-you're welcome." She cleared her throat and tried to smile as she brought up her eyes just slightly. "And uh, listen, don't worry about what those two geniuses think." She jerked her thumb in the direction of the door that Sid and Stinky had just exited by. "They just…don't get it." She shrugged and glanced down again.

Harold looked at her with a touch of confusion on his face for a second or two. Then he blinked and smiled at her. "Yeah…Thanks, Helga."

She cleared her throat and resumed her usual scowl, though her voice held little of its usual harness as she added in an almost amused tone, "Hey, I can't be yelling at you and giving you a hard time ALL the time—Even I'M accidentally helpful every now and then. Now if you'll excuse me, I want to get back to my nap before anyone else needs me to 'save the day.' Sheesh, who do I look like—Arnold?" And with that she slid back into her seat.

The bus came to its next stop and Harold just shrugged his shoulders as he grabbed his backpack and headed down the aisle and out the bus door to return to his house.

* * *

Seeing that Harold had finally gone and no longer actually feeling like sleeping, Helga sat upright and removed a small pink book and a purple pen from her backpack and began to write a bit. '_Sheesh, I can't believe I actually said that last thing to him about how Sid and Stinky just 'don't get it.' Why didn't I just pop around the seat with a smile on my face and say 'Gosh Harold, you maybe like-like someone? What a coincidence, so do I—only, in spades!!!'_ Helga sighed in frustration and jabbed her pen at the fresh page in her book, making random marks more than actually writing. '_I'm such an idiot.'_

The truth, though, was that Helga hadn't been able to help herself coming to Harold's defense like she had just done, or trying to comfort him about the whole Patty thing a little. Her situation with Arnold had been on her mind a lot lately, especially since the confession and especially since all of the recent and (unfortunately for her secret) very public conflicts they'd been having together. And somehow seeing someone get made fun of for having a crush had just hit a little too close to home for her. Besides, Harold wasn't such a bad guy—Patty seemed to like him and she was all right. Heck, not only was she one of the few real friends Helga could claim to have, but hadn't she just invited her out to dinner as well?

Helga sighed again, though this time more due to exhaustion than anything else. To be honest, even though part of her was a little angry with Patty for interfering in her business with Arnold, she knew that it was only because of her that she'd gotten two perfectly legitimate public excuses for not pounding Arnold into the ground today, and both of those close calls had left Helga a little drained to say the least. In a way she was actually really happy that Patty had invited her to dinner tomorrow night, and even happier that it was at Chez Paris. Helga couldn't help the half grin that came to her face. '_Finally, a chance to go there WITHOUT having to worry about perpetrating some elaborate ruse for Arnold: no crazy costumes, no wacky hi-jinks, no nutty escape ideas—just sitting and eating. Heck, it's probably just the thing I need to calm my nerves after what that stupid Football Head's been putting me through this week._'

Almost automatically upon thinking of Arnold, Helga had glanced down the bus aisle in the direction of his usual seat, where he would be (no doubt) sitting and sharing some joke with Gerald, completely unaware of her surveillance as usual.

Instead, Helga's eyes went wide and blinked in surprise as they suddenly met Arnold's: He had been staring right at her with that half lidded gaze of his, smiling!

Helga took in a sharp breath and pulled herself into her seat until she was pressed against the window of the bus. She felt her heart skip a beat and the warmth in her face told her that she must be blushing slightly. "What the heck was THAT about?!" she whispered to herself. '_Why is he staring at me like that?! Oh Crimeny, if he comes over here and starts trying to talk to me, I don't know what I'm gonna—'_As if in answer to her prayers, the bus stopped once more and Helga recognized her street. She grabbed her backpack. "Finally, I catch a break!"

Without so much as a glance in Arnold's direction, Helga shoved her pink book and pen into her bag and walked briskly to the door, exiting the bus.

As the bus pulled away and Helga found herself alone on her sidewalk, she couldn't help but smile in relief that she'd gotten out of having yet another near-fist fight with her beloved today. "That's it, I can't stand this anymore. What I need is an Arnold-free weekend." She began to walk down her street and toward her brownstone. "Yeah—no poetry, no shrines, no random spying. Just me and some Wrestlemania trading cards, a 12 pack of ice cold yahoo sodas, maybe a homework session with Phoebe, and a relaxing dinner at Chez Paris." She walked up her stoop, feeling very confident and actually smiling now. "Yes sir, I won't even leave the house except for going to that restaurant. This weekend is all about Helga and nothing about Arnold." And with this seemingly irrefutable sentence she finally entered her house and prepared to start her Football Head-Free weekend.

* * *

"—And," Helga cut the boys off and finished for them, "You two are just acting like a bunch of jerks because you're jealous that there's no way either of you could get a girl to be your friend let alone like you enough to actually spend time with you even if you were the last two guys on the planet. Am I in the ballpark?" She raised an eyebrow at the two boys, a satisfied smirk on her face.

Arnold couldn't help but chuckle to himself at this quick and most likely correct observation from Helga.

He watched as Sid and Stinky's mouths instantly closed and a slight blush appeared on each of their faces.

"I thought so," he heard Helga finish, swinging her backpack back over her shoulder. "Now you idiots keep it down and cut it out before I smack you with something a heck of a lot harder than this!"

Arnold laughed slightly to himself again as she proceeded to take her seat, rubbing her forehead in a show of fatigue. No one else on the bus really seemed to be paying much attention to the conversation currently occurring between Harold, Sid, Stinky and Helga. Arnold figured that it being Friday afternoon had something to do with this, not to mention the fact that it wasn't exactly unusual to see Harold or Helga in a confrontation with other people or even each other. In addition, Arnold's particular focus on the conversation probably stemmed from the fact that he had been specifically waiting for Helga to get on the bus.

He'd actually found himself specifically waiting for, or looking for, or glancing at Helga a lot lately. He wasn't exactly sure why, but it was like he was waiting for something from her…and lately, he guessed, he'd been growing impatient for whatever that thing was. '_I just wish I could talk to her for a few minutes…then maybe I could…'_

"Arnold? Arnold!"

Arnold blinked and came out of his thoughts. He turned to his best friend, Gerald, who was sitting next to him. Gerald had an eyebrow raised suspiciously and his hands on his hips. "Arnold, PLEASE tell me you are not thinking of trying to talk to Helga Pataki again!"

Arnold sighed and glanced down guiltily.

"Arnold," Gerald rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger, "Listen, I know you've got something you need to say to her or whatever…I still can't figure out what the heck that IS exactly…" Arnold, naturally, had NOT mentioned the situation between himself and Helga to anyone, which (he had to admit to himself) must have made things a little confusing for Gerald. Gerald continued. "But either way I think you need to leave her alone for a little while. I mean, Big Patty's not here to fix things and I think your luck has officially run out when it comes to Helga's mercy."

Arnold leaned back in his seat. "I know…maybe you're right, Gerald. I should probably give her a little space for now. Maybe I'll try again on Monday…"

"Man, I don't get why you are even trying at all, or what exactly it is you think you need to do all of a sudden! Why do you wanna talk to Helga, Arnold? What's the secret?"

Arnold felt a slight blush come to his cheeks as he heard the particular way in which his best friend had chosen to phrase the situation between himself and Helga. "Th-there's no secret, Gerald." He tried to smile as innocently as he could but even Arnold had to admit he'd never been good at keeping things from other people, especially his best friend.

Gerald gave him an incredulous look and crossed his arms over his chest. "Mmm hmm…"

Arnold glanced away and tried to keep his blush under control. "I'm serious…I just have to ask her something just like there's been times where I've had to ask you something or Harold something or Phoebe something or anyone else. We just...keep getting interrupted..."

Gerald rolled his eyes. "Hey, whatever, man." He stretched his arms and put them behind his head. "All I'm sayin' is maybe you should try and keep things a little less public than they've been lately. If you don't, not only is Helga going to actually hit you one of these days, but pretty soon Sid and Stinky are gonna start saying YOU have a crush too!" Noticing his best friend watching the altercation going on at the front of the bus, Gerald had also paid some attention to it as well.

Arnold felt his stomach flip and he looked at Gerald with his eyes wide. "What do you mean?!?!"

Gerald, luckily, had closed his eyes upon resting his head against his arms so he didn't see Arnold's strange reaction to the small joke. However, he had certainly heard the high-pitched and almost panicked tone of Arnold's response. As a result, he opened one eye and glanced at his best friend curiously. "Relax man, it was just a joke…you know: they're ragging on Harold about Patty because they spend time together, you keep trying to spend time together with Helga…" Gerald left the obvious logical conclusion off the end of the sentence.

"…So they might start teasing _us_…" Arnold finished, rubbing his temples. '_How could I be that stupid? No wonder Helga keeps panicking and trying to get away from me every time I try to talk to her at school. She's just trying to protect her secret and here I am just walking up to her in broad daylight and not even thinking about what people are going to say when they see us together like that_.'

"Hey man," Gerald put a reassuring hand on his best friend's shoulder, "Don't worry about it—like I said, it was a joke. Besides, Harold and Patty actually do seem to like-like each other. But Helga hates you," Arnold tried his best not to react to the statement, "and you do NOT like Helga…"

Arnold couldn't help his breath catching in his throat at the way this last item had been said with just a hint of…not really UNcertainty so much as a lack-of-complete certainty.

"Right! Yeah, of course! Good point, Gerald!" Arnold replied just a little too enthusiastically, following it up with a nervous smile.

Gerald just eyed him for a second, seemed about to say something, but then shook his head as though thinking better of it and resumed putting his arms behind his head and resting against them with his eyes shut.

Arnold swallowed hard and took a deep breath, happy that the conversation with Gerald seemed to be over. The last thing he needed was something he said or did to tip anyone off about Helga's secret…even if they thought _he_ was the one with the crush on _her_ it would still somehow lead back to her getting teased, and from how passionate she'd been with her confession and how well she'd kept things under wraps all these years Arnold was fairly certain that Helga would not take something like that very well.

His mind returning to Helga, Arnold glanced in her direction again and noticed that she seemed to be leaning around Harold's seat and talking about something with him. She smiled and then scowled once (though she didn't seem angry) as she finished whatever she was saying and then sat back down in her own seat again. Arnold couldn't help but smile as he recalled the nice thing she'd just done for Harold. '_I'll bet Patty showing up today to end those fights between us kind of did the same thing for her now that I think about it—stopping the problem and making sure no one would tease her about me.'_

He raised an eyebrow in curiosity as he saw Helga glance around quickly and then remove something from her backpack. Suddenly, he noticed her right hand moving a bit and realized she was writing something. For some reason he found himself smiling even more at this sight—what was she writing about, and why did she glance around like that before starting like she was so intent on keeping her action hidden? Arnold sighed to himself as he realized that this was just another example of him not being able to figure out Helga._ 'She's just so—'_

His thought was completely interrupted as Helga suddenly turned around and her eyes met his. Before he could even react to the sudden connection between them though she had disappeared from the edge of the seat, and he guessed that now she was sitting at the end closest to the window. A look of concern replaced his smile and Arnold could feel a slight blush coming to his face. He felt his mouth open, almost like he wanted to call Helga back, but then he quickly recalled that they were on a bus and he merely leaned back and glanced out the window near Gerald.

Suddenly, Arnold felt the bus lurch to a stop. He continued staring vacantly out of the window until the bus started to pull away again. Suddenly, he blinked in surprise as he noticed it pass by a familiar blonde figure dressed in pink whom Arnold realized must have just gotten off the bus. As his angle of view on her changed due to the bus' movement he saw with some amusement and curiosity that she appeared to be saying something to herself before commencing her walk down the street. He couldn't help a slight chuckle escaping his mouth at the sight of Helga Pataki doing yet another strange thing that he couldn't quite explain.

The sound of his laugh caused Gerald to open one of his eyes again and glance at his friend. "What's so funny, man?" he asked, yawning.

Arnold did his best to not laugh even more at the question. "Sorry, Gerald, I was just trying to figure something out. I didn't mean to wake you up."

Gerald stretched and rubbed the back of his neck. "No, don't worry about it. Our stops are gonna come up pretty soon, anyway." He yawned once more and turned to Arnold, who, he noticed, was still looking just past him and out the bus window. "So, are you gonna make one last desperate attempt to have a talk with Helga or are you officially done with this death-wish of yours until Monday?"

Arnold shook his head, smiling at the joke. "No, I think you're right Gerald—I need to give her a little space for a few days. Besides, she just got off the bus so I can't talk to her today anyway."

Gerald raised an eyebrow and turned from his friend to the bus window out which he had been looking and then back to Arnold again. "Arnold, were you watching Helga Pataki get off the bus?"

Arnold blinked and finally focused his eyes completely on Gerald. "No! I mean…I was just looking out the window and I noticed that she was on the sidewalk after the last stop." He glanced down and cleared his throat. " 'Watching Helga get off the bus'…where do you come up with these things, Gerald?"

Arnold was trying to keep his tone more humorous than nervous as he asked this rhetorical question. Gerald's raised eyebrow and skeptical expression attested to his failure in this endeavor.

* * *

"Here you go, Mom—these are the last of the dishes." Patty Smith handed her mother a small stack of freshly washed and dried dinner plates, smiling.

"Oh, thank you dear," her mother replied, taking the stack and placing them in the cupboard.

"Do you want me to get started on cleaning the oven now, or should I—"

"Oh sweetie," Mrs. Smith put an affectionate hand on her daughter's shoulder, "You're thirteen years old and it's Friday night. Why don't you relax and watch a little TV or work on your sewing or maybe invite a friend over. What about Rhonda—we haven't seen too much of her lately. Is she free?"

"Actually," Patty wrung out a wet dishcloth and wiped around the sink, "I think she's got a big fashion show or something she's doing with her parents this weekend…but I'm going to dinner with a few people tomorrow night."

"Really?" Patty's mother smiled at hearing that her daughter was indeed going to go somewhere with her friends. "Who's going?"

Patty ran some water in the sink to wash the soapsuds down the drain. "Just me and that fourth grade girl who's been helping me with my poetry report, Helga…and a friend of ours, Arnold…and Harold."

"You mean that nice boy who you eat lunch with every day?" Mrs. Smith's smile widened a bit.

Patty sighed and tried to avoid looking at her mother as she finished up with the sink. "Uh, yeah. We're all going as a group."

"Oh, Patty" her mother walked over and put a hand on her shoulder, "It's so sweet that you've got a little boyfriend. He seems like such a nice boy too."

Patty felt herself blush. "Mom, he's not my boyfriend. We just…like spending time together. He's a good friend and that's why we're going as a group tomorrow with other friends. It's no big deal."

Mrs. Smith laughed and went back to putting the last few clean items in the cupboard. "All right, Patty…but it sounds more like a double date to me."

Patty sighed and walked over to the kitchen table, pushing her chair in. "Mom, I've gotta go do some homework and make some phone calls, okay?"

"Hey, there are my two favorite girls!" Suddenly, Mr. Smith walked into the kitchen, smiling at his wife and daughter. He turned to Patty. "So, any big plans for tonight, sweet pea?"

"No, Dad. I'm going out with some friends tomorrow but tonight I'm just going to relax in my room and try to do some work."

"She's got a date with that nice boy, Harold, and another couple."

"Mom!" Patty turned around and looked at her mother, a slight blush coming to her cheeks.

Mrs. Smith just laughed to herself.

"Oh, my little girl is growing up so fast!" said Mr. Smith, grabbing Patty in a warm hug.

Patty sighed and rolled her eyes. "Dad, it's not a date. I told Mom that we're all just going out as a group. Really."

Mr. Smith let her go, the smile still on his face. "Aw, pumpkin, you don't have to be embarrassed. Why, your mom and I went out on our first date when we weren't much older than you are. Isn't that right, dear?" He looked to Mrs. Smith.

"That's right," she confirmed. "Who knows," she looked to Patty, "maybe one day you and Harold will end up married."

Patty felt her face blush red. "Mom, it's not…" she sighed. If anyone at school had said anything like that to Patty Smith she would have know exactly how to handle it—granted, it would have probably resulted in her expulsion, but still the situation would have been taken care of. With her parents, though, of course it was different: they knew her as she really was—their sweet, kind, calm daughter, not the sixth grade bully. Thus, Patty merely cleared her throat and calmly continued, "Never mind. I…I have to make some phone calls upstairs like I said. Good night."

And with that Patty quickly escaped upstairs and away from the awkward assumptions of her parents.

* * *

"Hello. Who's this?"

Patty blinked, a little surprised by the gruff sounding voice on the other end of the phone line. "Uh, hi. This is Patty Smith. Can I talk to Helga?"

"Oh for pete's sake…" The voice sounded distant now, like the phone was removed slightly from the mouth of the speaker. "Miriam, is the girl home?"

"Huh? Oh, yes, B—I think she's been upstairs in her room." A voice that sounded even farther away.

She heard the gruff voice, which she had guessed at this point was coming from Helga's Dad, sigh in exasperation before calling out, "Hey, Olga! There's a call for you! Some girl—Patsy, or something."

Suddenly, Patty heard a click on the line and then Helga's voice. "Yeah, yeah Bob—I've got it!"

There was another click and then Helga finally began to speak to Patty. "Sorry, hello?"

"Hey, Helga. It's Patty. What's up?"

"Oh, hey, Patty. Nothing much. Sorry about my parents…they're not exactly 'dripping with tact' most of the time, if you know what I mean. Anyway, what's going on?"

Patty shifted onto her stomach. She was lying on her bed while talking to Helga. "I just wanted to let you know that I called up Chez Paris and made the dinner reservation for 7 tomorrow night, so we should all meet there around then."

"Great!" Much to Patty's surprise there was a silence for a few seconds. Then Helga continued in a much more hesitant voice. "Just…make sure everyone knows to go to Chez Paris and not Chez Pierre. They're right next to each other and they're both French restaurants, but Chez Paris is the one to the right when you're facing the fountain between them. Just so you don't end up with half the people at the wrong place."

Patty smiled and raised an eyebrow at the strange warning. "Is this something you learned from personal experience?"

She heard Helga sigh on the other end of the line. "You wouldn't believe me even if I told you…about EITHER time…" This last part of the sentence sounded a lot quieter than the first part and Patty couldn't help but wonder if Helga hadn't meant for her to hear it.

Patty shrugged and smiled. "Okay Helga, I'll make sure everyone gets to the right place. Thanks."

"No problem." Helga's voice actually didn't sound tense for once. She sounded very relaxed and happy, actually.

"Okay, well, I'll see you tomorrow night then, I guess."

"Yeah. Um, listen, Patty…" Patty could detect the return of the hesitation in her voice, "I just wanted to thank you again for inviting me to this. I've been…dealing with a lot of stuff over the last few weeks and I could actually really use a night away from it all."

Patty raised an eyebrow at the strange comment. "Sure, Helga—you're my friend. It'll be nice to spend some time together without schoolwork to do."

She laughed and Helga laughed along with her. "Yeah," Helga began. "And um…" Patty heard Helga swallow hard, "Thanks again for your help with Arnold today—I kind of needed it."

Patty couldn't help the small pang of guilt that came upon her as Helga mentioned Arnold and she recalled the current matchmaking plan she was concocting with this whole restaurant thing. "Uh…sure, Helga. Anytime…" Patty felt her resolve waver, and for a second she was seriously considering admitting to Helga that Arnold was going to be her date tomorrow night.

Suddenly, both girls heard another click and the gruff voice of Big Bob Pataki came on the line again. "Olga, for cryin' out loud I'm expecting a big business call tonight! Can you get off the phone already? Yeesh!" Another click and he was gone.

Patty heard Helga sigh. "Sorry, Patty—the blowhard needs his phone lines wide open for another sale. I'll see you tomorrow at the restaurant."

"Um…Helga?"

"Yeah?"

Patty took a deep breath, swallowed hard, and made a decision. "See you tomorrow."

And with that Patty and Helga both hung up and the telephone conversation ended.

* * *

Patty took a deep breath. This matchmaking thing was a lot more stressful than romantic comedies and talk show hosts made it look.

She glanced at the small address book open on her bed and flipped through it to find Arnold's number. She quickly dialed it and after a few rings heard a warm old man's voice answer. "Hello, this is the Sunset Arms Boarding House. May I ask who you would like to speak with?"

Patty smiled. "Actually, could I talk to Arnold? This is Patty—a friend of his from school."

"Oh, of course," replied the old man with a laugh. "Just a second."

There was silence for several seconds. Patty could make out a few creaking sounds, like floorboards being walked on. Suddenly, she heard the old man speak again, though this time his voice sounded a bit distant just like Mr. Pataki's had when he had been talking with the phone away from his mouth. "Oh Arnold, there you are. Here—it's one of your many lady friends."

"Grandpa…" Patty smiled as she heard the playful way in which the old man had said the sentence and the similar tone in which Arnold had responded.

There was another second of silence and then she heard Arnold speak into the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey, Arnold. It's Patty. How are you?"

"I'm okay. How are you, Patty?"

She smiled. "Fine. I just wanted to let you know that the dinner at Chez Paris is at 7 tomorrow night."

"Sounds great!" came Arnold's cheerful voice.

Without thinking, Patty added, "Oh, and I heard that there's this second French restaurant right next door and that it can be kind of hard to tell them apart, but apparently it's the one on the right when you're facing the fountain between them."

There was a second or two of silence on the other end of the phone, which caused Patty to raise an eyebrow in curiosity. Finally, she heard Arnold laugh slightly to himself and clear his throat. "Sorry, Patty…yeah, I know—it can be a little confusing, but I'll definitely be at the right one."

Patty resumed her smile. "Great."

There was another pause, like Arnold was hesitating for some reason ('_Just like with Helga_,' Patty couldn't help but note mentally to herself with an interested grin). Patty's smile quickly fell though as she heard him slowly ask, "Patty…this might sound like a really weird question but…can I ask who you heard that from? About the two restaurants, I mean…"

Patty swallowed hard. '_If I tell him it was Helga, he'll know she's coming and if he doesn't show up, then this whole thing is going to be ruined. I don't want to lie to him though…_'

Patty bit her lip and considered for a second.

"Hello? Patty? Are you still there?"

Patty took a deep breath and responded in the only safe way she could come up with on the spot. "Yeah Arnold, I'm still here. Actually…Rhonda's the one who mentioned the restaurant to me in the first place…"

"Oh…"

Patty raised an eyebrow again. Was that…a bit of disappointment in his voice? Arnold continued. "Okay. Sorry, Patty—I was just curious."

"No problem, Arnold." She took a deep breath, happy that she'd gotten past that question with him. "So, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Sure, Patty. 7 sharp in front of Chez Paris." Some of the normal optimism had returned to Arnold's voice, though Patty could still hear just a touch of that strange sadness underneath it.

"Okay. Good night, Arnold."

"Goodnight, Patty."

And with that Patty placed the phone down on its receiver once again and sighed very deeply in the dim light of her room. "THAT was close."

A second passed though and she almost couldn't help but laugh as she added silently to herself, '_They're not going to make this easy, are they?_'

* * *

Patty lay there for a few minutes, happy that she had gotten through her phone calls to Arnold and Helga. At the same time though she was also stalling just slightly as the final call she had to make was to Harold.

Patty had been nervous enough about this whole dinner thing from the second she'd asked Harold, and her parents' good-natured razzing about it just now hadn't exactly helped boost her confidence. On top of that, her stomach was still twisting in knots as she recalled with a quick blush how, without thinking, she had actually given Harold a quick kiss on the cheek that afternoon before she'd left him to deal with Arnold and Helga.

"I can't believe I did that…Helga and Arnold better seriously work things out after tomorrow night because I can't afford to get distracted and have any more slip-ups like that." It wasn't that Patty hadn't thought about adding a small kiss like that to the goodbyes between her and Harold before (to be honest, it had been starting to feel more and more natural as the weeks had progressed in their 'friendship') but she definitely hadn't been planning to start doing it all of a sudden today! She hadn't even looked back to see what his reaction had been, or even checked around to make sure no one had been looking at them when it had happened. "I just hope none of his friends saw us—the last thing I need is the entire fourth grade on our cases." She sighed and put her hands behind her head, resting back against them as she looked out her window at the darkening night sky. "Well, I guess I better get this over with…"

With a hard swallow, Patty picked up the receiver and slowly dialed the number she knew so well.

It rang twice, then a woman answered. "Hello, Berman residence. This is Marilyn speaking."

Patty swallowed again, and tried to keep her voice sounding calm. She'd been hoping to just get Harold right away. "Uh, hey, Mrs. Berman. This is Patty Smith—Harold's friend."

"Oh, hi sweetie, how are you?"

"I'm fine. How are you?"

"Oh, you're always so polite. Well, I'm just wonderful, dear."

"Great…" Patty felt really awkward, but she tried not to think about it and did her best to keep her voice level as usual. "Is Harold around?"

"Actually, Patty," Marilyn began in a slightly disappointed voice, "he's at the arcade with some of his friends. Do you want to leave a message for him, though?"

"Uh, sure…" Patty would rather have talked to Harold personally, but she wasn't about to hang up now and then have to work up the courage to make this phone call again in a few hours. "Could you just let him know that dinner tomorrow night with everyone," Patty was careful to add these last two words into the message, "is at 7 pm at Chez Paris? I just made the reservation a little while ago."

"Well sure, honey. I'll let him know." The overly happy, almost sly tone in her voice made Patty a little nervous. "And I just think it's so sweet that you kids are hitting it off so well. You know, sweetie, we really should have you over sometime with your parents so we can all really get to know each other."

Patty swallowed hard. "Uh, sure, Mrs. Berman. Not this weekend but sometime…maybe…"

"Oh, honey, call me 'Marilyn.' After all, you're practically like one of the family."

Patty laughed nervously. "Um…okay…I guess…"

"Marilyn, who's that on the phone?"

Patty recognized the sound of Harold's Dad's voice.

She heard Mrs. Berman move slightly away from the receiver. "Oh Jerry, it's Harold's little girlfriend. You know, that tall girl he's been spending all that time with after school."

Patty felt herself blush as she dragged a hand down her face in exasperation. Why were grown-ups always doing embarrassing things like this?

"Oh, right, right," Mr. Berman replied. "Hey, did you ask if she could come over one night with her parents?"

"Well, I was just mentioning that to her, Jerry. I was going to see if, instead of going out with Harold to some restaurant tomorrow night, they wanted to come over here with Patty's parents and I could make a brisket or something." Patty's eyes went wide and Mrs. Berman's voice returned in full force to the phone receiver. "Patty, sweetie, why don't you and your family to just come over here tomorrow—if you and Harold are going to be dating we have a lot to talk about."

"Actually, Mrs. Ber—Marilyn…" '_This is so weird_,' "We're meeting a few people at the restaurant so we can't really change the plans. Sorry." Patty was suddenly more thankful than ever that Arnold and Helga were indeed going to be at the restaurant—even if they had the blow-out of the century tomorrow night, ANYTHING had to be better than her and Harold having a meal with their increasingly embarrassing parents.

The disappointment in Mrs. Berman's voice was evident. "Aw, are you sure, Patty, dear?"

"Yeah, sorry…thanks though. Anyway, I've gotta go and do some homework now, but say hi to Mr. Berman for me and please let Harold know that the dinner _with_ _everyone_," once again she stressed those two words, "is at 7 tomorrow night."

"Okay, sweetie. But maybe we could have you over next weekend or—"

"Yeah, maybe. Well, goodnight, Marilyn!" And with that Patty hung up the phone and felt a wave of relief wash over her.

She sighed and rolled onto her back, rubbing her eyes. "I knew this whole 'real date' thing was a bad idea. Even if it is a 'group thing.'"

Patty felt a grin almost come to her face as she recalled what she had said to Arnold about how she'd found out about Chez Paris in the first place. "Why do I feel like this whole thing is somehow Rhonda's fault?" She sighed again to herself, the grin leaving her face entirely. "And why do I feel like what IS her fault is going to include A LOT more things by the end of tomorrow night?"

Patty felt a twist of worry in her stomach as she considered just how difficult it was going to be to pull off a perfect or even a decent evening tomorrow night. Still, she tried to reassure herself that nothing could possibly turn out as bad as her fears were telling her it could. Sure, Arnold and Helga might be a little surprised to see each other at first…but after a round of sodas and appetizers Patty was sure that that weird connection they seemed to have would overpower any problems between them. And certainly by dessert if not sooner, whatever conflict they were having lately would be resolved, making it so Patty wouldn't have to save Arnold's neck anymore and possibly letting Helga get a little closer to Arnold like she seemed to want to even if she didn't want to admit it. As for Harold…well, Patty had been to places with Harold tons of times before, and this would be just the same. No big deal. And the time alone might even give her a chance to do a little damage control with the whole 'Torvald' situation.

Patty took a deep breath and tried to smile. "This is going to be fine. I'm just not thinking straight because of all that stuff our parents said. Besides, even if tomorrow night turns out bad somehow, it's not like anyone else is ever going to find out about it."

Patty sat up and smiled confidently to herself with this final assuring thought. She reached for a textbook on her floor, but then hesitated and went for her the small basket on her dresser containing her latest crocheting project that she'd been working on for a few weeks. Her mom was right—it was Friday night and after a long week at school (and a long day trying to assure the safety of not just one but TWO relationships) she deserved to relax a little.

* * *

A/N:  
All right everyone, that's it for chapter 3. I've got a lot of fun things planned for the rest of the this story but I'm just not sure how I'm going to organize them so I'm not sure how long chapter 4 will take (be prepared for a very big and very awkward Arnold and Helga moment though at some point during the night…I've at least got that all worked out and it is going to make this a very fun meal indeed, lol.) Anyway, along with trying to organize the chapter I'm still working on Chapter 12 of TA (I've managed to write out the whole thing in the closet by the way, for those of you following that story…there's still a lot to go though before the end.) As for Changes, I have no idea when how I'm supposed to begin that story is going to come to me, so until then that's on hiatus. And as for other stuff that could potentially distract me from this story…well, I've been getting a lot of random ideas for the Jungle Movie adaptation fic I've been toying with writing for the last 3 or 4 years so I may end up starting that thing at some point too (though probably not until after TA is finally wrapped up). Okay, enough of me rambling—go back to your Holiday fun! (Oh, and please check out the sequel that I'm going to post to the Christmas fic I wrote last year, A Helga Pataki Christmas—I think it's a really cute addition to the story and it should be up soon!!!)

Take care everyone, and as always Happy Reading!!!


	4. Hell's Dining Room

**A/N:**

I hope you guys like this! It was a little complicated to work out but I think it's a fun time all around. Chapter 5 is also going to have a few interesting complications to this dinner, so please stay tuned!!! Thanks for reading!!!

**Dinner AND a Show!**

**Chapter 4:**

**Hell's Dining Room**

* * *

"Hey, Arnold, pass me another Yahoo soda." Gerald held out his hand, putting down the pencil he had just been using to solve yet another math problem.

"Sure." Arnold reached into the small cooler beside the couch, which he and his best friend were currently sitting on in the den of the Boarding House, and handed Gerald another ice-cold bottle.

There was a small sound of air releasing as Gerald popped off the bottle top and then gulped down a few ounces of the drink. He let out a refreshed sigh, and then put the drink down on the coffee table in front of them. "You know, we've been working for an hour straight. You think maybe it's time for a TV break?"

Arnold glanced down at his almost complete sheet of homework and then back up at his best friend, smiling. He pushed the assignment and textbooks scattered around him to the side. "That sounds like a good plan." Gerald reached for the remote on the coffee table and turned on the television.

He flipped through the stations for half a minute but, being ten years old and desperate for some entertainment, it felt like _forever_. He sighed, "Man, it's Saturday afternoon—Where are the cartoons and monster movies and baseball games? News, infomercials, government debates…sheesh!" He kept going through the stations, though at a much quicker pace this time.

"Hey, wait a minute—go back! That looked like one of the Evil Twin movies!" Arnold suddenly called out.

With a hopeful look, Gerald flipped back a few channels and suddenly saw what Arnold was talking about. His face quickly fell, though, as he realized what it really was. "Aw man, it's just another commercial for Evil Twin IV: Cannibal Twins, but it's not comin' out 'til next weekend." He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, tossing the remote on the couch between himself and Arnold.

"_Yes, that's right—It's __more__ blood, __more__ gore, __more__ terrifying moments with the fourth and final installment of the Evil Twin franchise: __Evil Twin IV: Cannibal Twins__!!! Coming to the tri-city area next Friday starting at midnight!"_

Gerald rolled his eyes at the announcer's voice. "Yeah, but how does that help us NOW?" he couldn't help but mumble to himself.

Arnold chuckled.

"_And, to thoroughly prepare all you Evil Twin fans for the most frightening weekend of your soon-to-be-over lives, come down to any major theatre in the city THIS weekend for a special TRIPLE FEATURE showing of __Evil Twin I__ and __Evil Twin II and Evil Twin III:Country Cousin__ back-to-back starting at 6pm! That's right—pay only ONE price for THREE great, gory films! This Saturday night ONLY!!! Be __there__! And be __dead__!"_

Gerald stood up, smiling, and turned to his best friend. "All _right_! Maybe today won't be so bad after all! Come on, Arnold," he glanced at the clock which read 5pm, "let's go get tickets now and spend the entire evening scared out of our minds."

Arnold sighed, disappointment in his voice. "Sorry, Gerald. I can't go."

Gerald did a double take. "What?! Oh, come on, man—What could be better than a half price triple feature guaranteed to scare us both for the rest of the weekend? Besides, if _anyone_ needs a night out it's _you_—You're the one who's been getting all worked up over the last week trying to talk to Helga."

Arnold rolled his eyes at this last statement and tried to ignore it. "Gerald, I'm sorry, but I already made plans for tonight."

"With who?" Gerald asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Well, I'm going to dinner at Chez Paris with some people."

Gerald almost smirked, "Arnold…this isn't another one of those 'Helga has a gift certificate' things, is it…?"

Arnold gave his friend a slightly miffed look. "No, Gerald. It's got nothing to do with Helga. I was just talking to Patty today after she helped me with…something with Helga," Arnold hastily added this last bit of information, trying not to make eye contact with Gerald, "And she mentioned that her and a bunch of other people were going there tonight and she asked me if I wanted to come too, and I said yes."

Gerald sighed, "Oh, _come on,_ Arnold: an overpriced dinner or five straight hours of horrific mayhem? Can't you get out of it?"

"Gerald, Patty helped me a lot yesterday and I don't just want to ditch her. Besides, I think it sounds like it's going to be fun." Suddenly, Arnold had an idea. "Hey, do you maybe want to come with us? Patty said it was just going to be a bunch of people, so I'm sure one more person wouldn't matter."

Arnold's hopeful look was shut down by an emphatic shake of Gerald's head. "No way, man. I am _not_ getting roped into another crazy misadventure at that place. The first time we went there was Valentine's day and you nearly got yourself killed by three women at once, and then the second time I ended up having to sit through a whole meal with Helga only to end up with cockroaches everywhere and scrubbing pots and pans for six hours. You can go there if you want to, man, but I'm _definitely_ doing the movies tonight. Case closed."

Arnold shrugged his shoulders. "Okay." He shut off the TV and stood up. "Do you still want me to come with you to get tickets now? It's only 5 so there should be plenty of time to do that and then for me to get back here so I can change for the dinner at 7."

"Yeah, okay…" Suddenly, Gerald's eyes widened and the smile returned to his face. "Hey, Arnold—this dinner thing starts at 7?"

Arnold looked at Gerald. "Yeah. Why?"

Gerald stood up. "Well, that's perfect then. The theatre's only a block away from Chez Paris and the second movie probably doesn't start until around 8. Why don't we buy tickets now and I'll go to the first movie and then when you're done eating I'll meet you out in front of the theatre just before the show starts. What do you say?"

Arnold looked hesitant. "I don't know, Gerald…What if the dinner goes past 8? I don't want to have to leave early—it'd feel kind of rude."

Gerald put a reassuring hand on his friend's shoulder. "Come on, man, there's no way dinner could take more than an hour. Besides, you'll already have the ticket so you won't have to waste any time in line for them. And if it _does_ look like you're going to cut it close, just say that you can't stay for dessert or something because you've got some plans later. I mean, you don't have to…I don't know…go to the bathroom and never come back or something." Gerald smiled smugly at his friend, referring to one of the excuses Arnold had used often last Valentines Day when trying to keep two dates at once.

Arnold couldn't help but smile. "Yeah…I guess you're right. Besides, I really could go for some Evil Twin…" His mind wandered to Helga for a moment, "…and I guess I could use a night to relax from some things…"

"Great!" Gerald smiled. "Well, let's go get those tickets then before everyone else gets the same idea."

"Okay." Arnold smiled and with that both boys left the Boarding House to purchase their seats for the film that night.

* * *

"No…no…absolutely not…ugh, why do I even own anything green? I _hate_ green!" Helga felt her heart skip a beat as she found herself adding mentally with a dreamy smile on her face, '_Well…most kinds of green…but not jelly bean green…_' On instinct, she felt herself begin to reach for her Arnold locket to look at the smiling face of her beloved and those beautiful eyes of his that would stare in that sultry way back at her.

She stopped herself, shaking her head and scowling. "Whoa, easy, Helga old girl. Remember—'Arnold-free weekend.' If you're going to lay in your room swooning over pictures of him, how is that any different from actually leaving the house and following him around all day?"

She took a deep breath and resumed rummaging through her closet, which she had been doing for the last hour. It was currently 6 pm on Saturday evening and Helga was trying to find something to wear to dinner tonight at Chez Paris.

Pawing through the same outfits for about the billionth time, though, she sighed in frustration and looked once more at a dress currently laid out on her bed. "Let's face it, that pink dress is the only thing that I have that's decent enough to wear to a place like that." Helga approached the dress like she was finally going to pick it up and put it on, but then hesitated. "But it's also the dress I wore there when we almost got arrested for not being able to pay the bill and for letting all of Nadine's cockroaches loose in the dining room. If that maitre d' recognizes me in it and starts giving me a hard time or worse, kicks me out, not only is it going to be completely embarrassing but then tonight's just going to end up being another evening all about the consequences of my love for Arnold." Helga had been doing pretty decently in her resolve to make this an Arnold-free weekend so far and, to be honest, even though it was a bit frustrating at times it was actually taking her mind off of all of the drama with him quite a bit, which she desperately wanted and needed. "Ugh, why did I even agree to go to this in the first place!? Do I NEVER think before I say things?" Helga was suddenly reminded of her confession and tried her best to put the memory away for now.

Helga sighed and walked back over to her closet, trying to put some of the other clothes away. "Oh well…maybe if I accessorize the dress differently or change my hair or something I can make it work." Helga continued to head deeper into her closet to re-hang up jumpers, shirts, and the occasional black ski mask as she thought these things aloud. After a minute or two she had the bulk of the mess picked up and she glanced down at the row or two of shoes that were now no longer covered up in layers of clothes. "Let's see…nope!" She had picked up a pair, examined it, and then discarded it. This pattern continued. "Nope, brown doesn't go with that dress…Can't wear sneakers to a fancy dinner…Too small…Ugh, why do I even own these ugly things?!"

A few more unsatisfactory pairs of shoes later and Helga found herself reluctantly glancing back at the dress on her bed, next to which she had the white pair of heels that she had worn with it last time she had gone to Chez Paris. She rolled her eyes. "Perfect, I don't have any other shoes that go with that dress!" She glanced back at the pile of shoes now in the middle of the floor of her bedroom. "Heck I don't even have any other pair of shoes besides that one that's nice enough to wear to a place like Chez Pari—"

Instantly, a memory resurfaced in Helga's mind that caused her to pause. She remained silent for a moment or two, thinking. Finally, she slowly reentered her closet, propped open a small step ladder in one of the corners, climbed it, pulled a string that opened a panel in the ceiling, and climbed into the empty space above. Helga clapped twice and suddenly several rigged up lights suddenly turned on revealing her Arnold shrine. Trying not to make eye contact with it (once again, this was 'Arnold-free weekend,' after all), Helga moved some random candles and some boxes of poetry books aside. Finally, in a back corner she came upon a rather dusty large shopping bag. She grabbed it by the handles and made her way back through the opening to the small attic space, descending the ladder carefully and finally exiting the closet to be in her room once again. Helga wasn't exactly sure why she had suddenly gone to the trouble of actually getting this item from her shrine—it wasn't like it was going to be able to help her very much with her problem, and it was already bringing up a lot of thoughts about Arnold that she wanted to avoid.

Still, Helga peered inside of the bag and pulled out the small item on top—a single, slightly dusty, red shoe. She blew some of the dust off of it and observed it for a few minutes in her hand. "If only I had the other one. They'd go great with that dress."

Finally, Helga just sighed and tossed herself on her bed, the shoe still in hand. "Oh, who am I kidding?! I could change the shoes, the necklace, the hair—I'm still gonna look like I did the last time and then I'm never gonna get a moment's peace tonight because of what I did at that restaurant the last time." She glanced with a scowl at the red heel. "Forget another pair of shoes, what I need is to look like a totally different person!" And with that, Helga chucked the shoe across the room.

She had expected to hear it hit the floor or the wall, but she sat up as she heard a rather different sound and suddenly saw that it had collided with the large shopping bag, spilling its other contents onto her floor. At first, Helga scowled at the sight of another mess to pick up. Suddenly, however, an idea occurred to her and she continued staring at the striped top and dark pink skirt that were now upon her carpet.

Suddenly, Helga shook her head violently. "Absolutely not—_What_ am I _thinking_?! There is no way I can ever wear that outfit ever again! If Arnold ever saw me in it, I'd be busted. Completely busted!"

'_Still_,' came a voice at the back of Helga's head, '_When you wore that to Chez Paris the first time, you actually were a 'different person'—there's no way if you wore it this time that that maitre d' would put together that you were the same person who got the restaurant closed down and tried to skip out on a full dinner for four. Besides, it IS a nice outfit…_'

Helga rolled her eyes at this last thought. "Crimeny, I've been spending too much time around Rhonda and Olga…" Helga did have to admit to herself, though, upon quickly glancing at it once that it was, indeed, one of her better fashion creations.

"But…NO! This is ridiculous! I can't believe that I'm even _considering_ this!" She turned away from the outfit. "Still…" the resolve in her voice was weakening, "Technically, the only people who saw me in that outfit were Arnold and Gerald… And it's not like they're both going to be randomly there tonight...what the heck would they be doing anywhere near a French restaurant on a Saturday night, anyway? I mean, it's not like they've got me roping them in to one of my crazy Arnold schemes like last time or anything, right?"

Helga slowly approached the outfit, picking up the top in one hand and the skirt in the other and looking from one to the other. "And I will have different shoes of course, since I've only got the one red one…" Helga glanced back at her bed. "The white ones I was going to wear with pink dress should go alright." She turned back to the clothing in her hands. "I might change my hair a little bit from how I had it that night too—Heck, I don't want the restaurant staff _to_ recognize me but I don't want Patty to _NOT_ recognize me," she said to herself, recalling how utterly fooled Arnold had been by her disguise.

Helga walked back over to her bed to place the top and skirt with the shoes in question. "You know what…I'm going to do this!" She smiled to herself. "It's not like there's any _real_ risk here and besides I'm SO sick of doing things in my life based around keeping my secret about Arnold. If I have a nice outfit, then I should be able wear it…Granted, not around anyone who would recognize me from the first time I wore it…But, still, I should be able to wear it!"

Helga smiled to herself as she proceeded to grab the long pink dress and white gloves from her bed and went to place them back in her closet. "I need to seriously relax…This night is going to be fine." And with this confident thought Helga closed her closet door tight and prepared to change for her dinner at Chez Paris.

* * *

"Okay, Mom, I'm leavin' for work now!"

"Okay, Torvald, honey. Are you sure you don't need a ride?" came the raspy but warm voice of a woman in the kitchen.

"That's okay, Mom—I've got a little while before my shift starts and I've got an umbrella, too, just in case the rain starts early." The young man glanced out the window at the grey clouds that were slowly building in the sky above. "Besides, you just got back from work—you deserve some time to relax."

"Okay, honey." The older woman exited the kitchen and walked over to her son, giving him a warm hug. "Have a good night at work—and I'm so proud of you, Torvald!" She gave him a kiss on the cheek. "You've really turned things around this year with school and getting a job…you're not my little boy anymore, are you? You're my young man now."

He pulled away, smiling, though, at how happy she seemed. "Thanks, Mom." He opened the door. "I'll see you later…is there any thing you want me to order from the restaurant and bring home la—"

He was cut off by the sound of the phone on the end table suddenly ringing.

Torvald's mother grabbed the receiver. "Just a second, honey." She cleared her throat, "Hello?...Oh, yes, he's here." She turned to her son and pulled the receiver away from her face, whispering to him. "Torvald it's one of those girls that's been calling here all week."

She offered the phone to hi, and Torvald took it. '_Hmm…I wonder if it's Patty or…_' "Hello?" The sound of the voice on the other end cleared up this uncertainty for him and actually had the added effect of making him smile quite a bit. "Oh, hey, babe…Oh no, sorry, I can't tonight—I've gotta work…I get off around eight though. Do you wanna meet me at the restaurant after my shift and maybe we can grab some ice cream or something?...Great! Do you know where the place is…Yeah, that block near the fountain and that other French restaurant. Great, I'll see you then. Bye, babe." And with that Torvald hung up the phone.

Torvald's Mom smiled at him. "Sounds like things are getting serious between you that young lady…Is she the one who came by here a few times to drop off some books?"

Torvald smiled and shook his head. "No, that's Patty. She's just been helping me with some stuff for, uh, school. We're just friends. You haven't met the other girl yet. She's just called here so far. We've actually been hanging out with each other for a couple of weeks now, though. She's pretty cool."

Torvald's Mom smiled. "Well, you should bring her by sometime. Maybe tonight after you're done at work?"

"Well, we were gonna get some ice cream afterwards…and we're both kind of busy with school this weekend," he added as an afterthought, recalling the sixth grade placement test he secretly had to study for. "But maybe next weekend. I'll see if she wants to come by for dinner Friday night."

"Okay, son. Have a good walk to work!" Torvald's Mom waved to him as he stepped out the front door.

"Thanks, Mom!" He was about to close the door but popped his head back in quickly, "Oh, and was there anything you wanted me to bring you from the restaurant?"

"Hmm? Oh, maybe some of that good Steak Tartare if it's not too much trouble."

"Sure thing. Bye!" And with that Torvald closed the door behind him and proceeded down the sidewalk and to work.

* * *

"Oh for the love of—seriously, I finally work things out with my outfit, and I get half way to this stupid restaurant with just enough time to not be late, and it starts pouring like crazy! And with my luck this is just one sign of the chaos to come tonight!" Helga turned a corner and finally had the lights of Chez Paris in her sights, though they were very obscured by the pouring rain around her. "Whew! Finally!"

Helga raced up the street and finally found herself safely under the awning of the restaurant. She looked down at her skirt and shirt. "Ugh, great—I am _drenched_!" She felt her hair. "Oh and just perfect—my bun fell out!" She wrung out her hair a bit. "Oh well…I'll just put it up again when I get inside. No big deal."

Helga took a breath to collect herself, opened the door, and walked inside of the restaurant. There was no one at the hostess table at the moment, so walked a little farther inside and looked around, searching the tables for wherever Patty might be. As she scanned the place, she recalled the need to fix her hair (which was now in wet shambles around her head.) Her back to the door, she removed her ribbon, and ran her hands through it a few times to get it straightened out so that she could put it up properly…

* * *

"Thanks for dropping me off, Grandpa! I can't believe all this rain—It was great outside this morning."

The Packard had just pulled up in front of Chez Paris and was now stopped right by the door. Grandpa turned to Arnold. "Sure thing, Short Man. Any particular time you want me to swing by and pick you up?"

Arnold straightened his tie. "Actually, I'm going to meet Gerald at the movies right after this, and we're probably going to be out until pretty late. We'll just take the bus back to the boarding house and he can spend the night on my couch, if that's okay."

He smiled. "Well, okay, but if you change your mind or your plans just find a payphone and let me know." He winked.

Arnold smiled back. "Okay, Grandpa.'' He opened the car door.

"Now have fun on your little date!" His grandfather called to him teasingly.

Arnold rolled his eyes. "Grandpa, I'm not going on a date. I'm just meeting a bunch of people here to have dinner."

Grandpa grinned slyly. "_Sure, Shortman_…and one of those people doesn't happen to be your little friend with the pink bow and the one eyebrow, does it?"

Arnold couldn't help blushing slightly. "No, Grandpa, Helga's not coming. And, she's—she's just a friend of mine anyway…"

"Mmm Hmm…" Phil replied, the suspicious smile still on his face. "Well, I'll let you get inside then." He glanced at the car clock. "Oh, and you'd better hurry, Shortman—it's 7 now! Don't wanna be late!"

Arnold blinked at hearing the time and stepped out of the car. "Bye, Grandpa! Thanks again."

"Bye, Shortman! And say 'hi; to Helga for me! Heh, heh, heh!" Grandpa called this last part out just as Arnold shut the door. He drove away laughing to himself while Arnold just sighed and shook his head. '_I don't know…maybe I __should__ just tell Grandpa about Helga—He already seems to know that she likes me. At least if he knew everything then I could come to him for advice about her._'

Arnold took a breath and turned around to look at the large doors of the restaurant before him. '_I can worry about Helga later…right now I just don't want to be late. Especially if I might have to leave early._' Arnold reached into his pants pocket to reassure himself that he still had his ticket for the Evil Twin movies later. Feeling that it was indeed safely there he smiled and opened the doors of the restaurant.

Arnold was about to approach the hostess stand and ask if there was anyone already seated who was waiting for him. He stopped though as he saw no one appeared to be there. '_Hmm…I'll just look around and see if I can find Patty's table anywhere.'_

Arnold glanced around at a few of the tables. Suddenly, his view was obscured by a person standing a few feet away. Arnold was about to step forward so that he could see around her when, suddenly, he did a double take and blinked several times as though he couldn't believe the sight in front of him.

* * *

"Stupid hair! Oh well, at least I got enough water out of it so I can try putting it up again."

"Cecile!"

Helga froze. Her hands dropped from her hair. Her eyes went wide. '_I did not just hear that name. I did not just hear that name said by that voice. I am imagining things because in the back of my mind I am still being paranoid about wearing this outfit. It was just the sound of the rain. Yes. I feel better now. Silly old Helga…like Arnold would actually be here._'

"Cecile!'"

She felt a hand on her shoulder. '_Okay, okay, __don't__ panic! Potential ways out of this: uh…okay, maybe I fake being Cecile again but then tell Arnold that I'm __just__ leaving…Good, okay. Yeah, and then I sneak out, change my hair, find some kind of clothing store that's open and come back here as plain old Helga Pataki. Alright, I can work with that. Now let's see—'_

"Helga! Hey, Helga—over here!"

Helga's jaw dropped as she saw Patty standing up and waving to her from a table about a hundred feet away.

"Arnold, you too!" Patty called.

The hand on her shoulder tensed and didn't move. And Helga didn't move. Her eyes remained wide and her mouth remained open. '_Okay, maybe…maybe there's a chance he doesn't realize that she's talking to me. I mean, for all he knows, Helga's right behind him or something, right?_'

* * *

"Helga!" Patty put her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow. "What's with the two of them? Why aren't they moving?"

Harold turned to look at the two people Patty was referring to and blinked in surprise. He raised an eyebrow at Patty. "You invited _Arnold_ and _Helga_?"

Patty rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. "Uh…yeah. You know…they're both pretty cool and I figured they could use a night out."

A doubtful look came back to Harold's face. "Yeah, but…_Arnold_ and _Helga_? Patty you're in the sixth grade so I don't know if you know this but those two _hate_ each other. _A lot_! Those fights they've been having are just extra—They argue all the time and she's always calling him names."

Patty raised an eyebrow at him. '_How does he not realize that…_' She mentally sighed to herself. '_Boys…_' She rubbed her eyes with her thumb and forefinger, then looked at him. "Look…it'll be fine. They're both nice people, right?"

Harold hesitated. Sure, Arnold was great guy, but Helga…Suddenly, the memory of how Helga had helped him on the bus yesterday resurfaced in his mind. Yeah…she was okay.

"Yeah…" he answered without much conviction.

"And they're our friends, right?" Patty continued.

"Well, yeah, but…"

"Okay, so there's no problem." She stood up and pushed in her chair. "Now, I don't think they see us, so I'm just going to go and bring them over. I'll be right back."

Harold gave a defeated sigh. "Okay, Patty…but I just hope they don't kill each other."

Patty shook her head and walked across the restaurant floor toward the two fourth graders. She couldn't help but feel just a bit more confident than the she had the previous day in the potential success of this dinner. Her and Harold had arrived at the same time and hadn't had to sit alone awkwardly for more than a couple of minutes before both Arnold and Helga had walked through the door (usually, they could spend a ton of time together and never have it feel weird, but somehow being in this restaurant setting made things a little more intense). And now the two of them had arrived and, instead of the World War III she had been fearing, they just seemed to be standing by the door together looking around the restaurant. She couldn't help but raise an eyebrow, though, as she got closer and noticed the strange looks on Arnold and Helga's faces.

Helga's were very VERY wide, and her mouth hung open. She wasn't moving. Arnold had his hand on her shoulder and, even though he kind of had a smile on his face, it was like he had been about to fully grin when something had interrupted the facial expression, leaving it half done and almost creepy looking.

Patty stopped a couple of feet from them. She put a hand on Helga's free shoulder. "Hey, Helga." She glanced at Arnold. "Hey Arnold." She lifted her hand off of Helga's shoulder and noticed that it was wet. "Wow, it must have been raining a lot out there." She smiled and jerked her thumb behind her. "Come on, the table's right over here."

They still weren't moving.

Patty sighed and rolled her eyes. "Okay, you guys…Look, I'm sorry I invited you two here tonight without telling you, but I figured that maybe this would give you guys a chance to just kind of hang out in neutral territory. Besides, I know you don't really hate each other. And we're all already here and the food smell's great so, come on—let's sit down like friends and enjoy ourselves. What do you say?" She smiled at them hopefully.

Patty had to raise an eyebrow as, all of a sudden, Arnold used his hand that was on Helga's shoulder to spin her around so that she was facing him. He looked her up and down several times, his eyes getting wider and wider as he went on. "Cecile…Helga, you—"

"Okay, well, let's get to that table because I am STARVING!!!" Helga suddenly whipped around and made a beeline for Patty's table, leaving both Patty and Arnold standing near the door looking quite surprised at the abrupt action.

Patty turned back to Arnold. "What's up with her? And who's Cecile?"

Arnold didn't say a word to her but suddenly walked quickly after Helga, leaving her alone by the door.

Patty watched him walk across the dining room, a look of complete confusion on her face. As they neared the table she saw Arnold reach for one of Helga's arms and Helga bump into the table so hard in an attempt to get away from him that she knocked half of the silverware onto the floor.

Patty took a breath. _'This is not a good sign, is it?_' She tried to console herself a bit. '_Okay, so, let's say they get into another fight tonight? What's the worse that could happen—We're in a public place so it's not like they're going to make a scene. And besides, it's not like there's anyone we know around to see it if something goes bad tonight_.' She reminded herself of this thought, which she'd had the previous evening after calling Harold's house. She tried to smile. _'They were both probably just surprised to see each other. They'll get used to it pretty soon. No problem_.'

"Patty, _darling_! Oh so you did decide to come here after all?"

Patty felt a hand on her shoulder and turned around in surprise to see Rhonda Wellington-Lloyd smiling at her, her parents in tow.

"Rhonda?" She raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing here?"

Rhonda brushed a bit of rain from her coat and then removed it. "Oh, you wouldn't believe it—You remember that fashion show at the country club I was telling you about? Well, it was outdoors and all of this rain just completely flooded the entire thing." She squeezed out her hair a bit. "We were just going to go home but, you know, ever since I mentioned this place to you on Friday I've been thinking about the time Mummy and Daddy took me here in second grade and, even thought the atmosphere is a little cheap, they have the best vichyssoise. Well, pretty soon I was just _dying_ for a bowl so we decided to stop for dinner on the way home!" Rhonda glanced around a bit at the other tables. "So, who did you and Harold end up coming here with?"

Patty felt her stomach twist just slightly. "Um, well…" '_This isn't good_.' Rhonda was the social queen of P.S. 118…and, as she had informed Patty yesterday, she was in the market for some good gossip. '_Still…there's nothing that weird about Arnold and Helga being here, right? I mean, she's not jumping all over me and Harold eating together, so what's the big deal?'_ "Well, actually…I ended up inviting Arnold and Helga." She smiled hesitantly.

Rhonda blinked. "Arnold and Helga…?"

"Uh, yeah…I mean, Harold's pretty good friends with Arnold and I'm pretty good friends with Helga so I just kind of ended up asking them."

"Rhonda, darling, the table's ready?" Mrs. Wellington-Lloyd's voice coming from across the dining room interrupted the conversation between the two girls.

Rhonda, however, didn't budge…and Patty didn't like that curious look she was giving her.

"Uh, well, it sounds like your Mom wants you so I'm just going to get back to our table. See you later, Rhonda." And with a wave and a sheepish smile Patty quickly walked back over Harold, Arnold and Helga.

She couldn't see it but Rhonda remained right where she was for a few seconds more, looking from Patty to the table in question...and its unusual second set of occupants. "Hmm…"

* * *

_'OH...OH…OH…_' Helga couldn't even begin to form a coherent thought as she suddenly found herself bolting away from Arnold and Patty to get to the table. This was beyond nightmare, this was…this was… '_OH!_' Continued to be the only word playing over and over again in Helga's head.

"Hey, Helga." Harold Berman smiled at her and waved as she reached the table.

The sound of another person's voice broke Helga out of her 'OH' thought loop. She blinked and looked at him. "Oh…hey…Harold." The response was very high pitched and obviously nervous sounding but, at this point, she was just impressed that she had managed to say anything at all.

"Helga!" A familiar hand grabbed her wrist and she practically jumped out of her skin and slammed into the table, jarring its contents. She whipped around, her eyes wide. "Helga, you're the girl who—"

"ARNOLD!" She cut him off. "Why don't you have a seat next to HAROLD? You know, HAROLD—the person at the table BESIDES you and me!" She grabbed Arnold's arm and pulled him around the table so that he was in front of the seat across from her.

Arnold blinked a few times, a little dizzy from being suddenly whipped around like that. Upon getting his bearings again he looked to Helga who was now sitting with her hands folded neatly on the table, twiddling her fingers and trying to make eye contact with anything that wasn't him.

"Helga, why didn't you tell me that you were her when you told me how really felt about m—"

"ARNOLD!" she yelled again, scowling, "You know another interesting thing about Harold is that he can not only _hear_ everything we might say but he can tell OTHER people about it too. Isn't that INTERESTING?!?!"

Arnold glanced at Harold, who had a very confused expression on his face, and then back to Helga. "But, Helga, we can't just _not_ talk about—"

"Oh, LOOK, here's PATTY!!!" Helga yelled, suddenly, as Patty reached the table following her little talk with Rhonda. "YET ANOTHER person who can hear EVERYTHING you're saying, FOOTBALL HEAD! So maybe you should stifle it before I do it FOR you!" She glared furiously at him.

Patty just looked from Helga to Arnold with an eyebrow raised. She glanced at Harold, who just looked at her with an equal amount of confusion and shrugged his shoulders.

Patty sat down in her chair next to Helga and across from Harold, still looking at Arnold and Helga with confusion. There was definitely something going on here and it was bigger than the two of them just being surprised to see each other. "Are you guys okay? You seem a little…tense."

"Huh?!" Helga blinked and turned to Patty, and the sudden motion caused a piece of her hair to fall over one of her eyes. With a start, she recalled that her hair was indeed still down in the Cecile style. She quickly put down her menu and started putting it back up. _'It's bad enough Football Head knows I'm Cecile now—I don't need my hair beating him over the head with it.'_ She cleared her throat and spoke as she was doing this. "Uh…no, I was just…just surprised to see Arnold."

"Yeah, and I was _really_ surprised to see _Helga_." Arnold added in a flat voice with a distinctly annoyed expression on his face, not looking up from the menu open before him.

Helga blinked at this change in attitude. '_Oh great—now he's 'angry_'.' She sighed and turned to Patty, trying to ignore him. Clearing her throat, she did her best to call forth some sarcasm though her voice obviously came off as a little shaky. "You know, that was a pretty low trick, Patty—inviting the two of us and not telling us."

Patty smiled sheepishly. "Well, I just thought a night away from school and everyone would give you guys a chance to make up a bit and, you know, be yourselves." She smiled at Helga.

"Well, if anyone could use a chance to be herself, it certainly is _Helga_." Arnold added, again in the miffed voice and again while flipping through the menu.

Helga blinked and looked at him again. Patty raised an eyebrow at him, this time, as well.

Suddenly, Arnold took a breath and closed the menu. He looked to Patty and Harold (or, more specifically, avoided looking at Helga). "Thank you again for inviting me, Patty. I really appreciate it." His voice was suddenly pleasant and kind, just like usual.

"Sure, Arnold. No problem…" Patty couldn't help the hesitation in her reply. His sudden change in attitude was a little disconcerting to say the least.

"Hey, Harold. It's good to see you. How's your weekend going so far?"

"Uh, pretty good…" He, too, felt something strange about the way Arnold was acting.

"Bon jour, mademoiselles and monsieurs. I will be your waiter this evening." A familiar maitre d' arrived at the table, pen and order pad in hand. He smiled at Harold and Patty and then, suddenly, his eyes fell on Arnold and Helga and he froze. "_You_ _two_!" he yelled with indignation.

Helga just let the menu she had been reading drop onto her plat with a clatter. She closed her eyes and dragged a hand down her face. '_Perfect, just __perfect_…'

Arnold blinked at the strong address. "Us?"

The garçon scowled. "You two are the nasty little children who released cockroaches in this restaurant last winter and got us shut down for two weeks!"

Helga smiled sheepishly. "Uh…I-I don't recall…uh…"

"We have your _pictures_!" He instantly pulled a sheet out of his pocket with color headshots of Arnold, Helga, Gerald, Phoebe and Nadine (who had been the owner of the cockroaches in question).

'_Great…_' Helga thought to herself. '_Head shots and the one thing I decide to keep the same from that night is my hair. Fantastic. Now he's going to make a big scene and kick out me and Arnold, and—_' Suddenly, her eyes opened wide and a slight smile came to her face. '_Kick out me and Arnold? Yeah, he'll kick us out! And then I won't have to sit through the torture of this meal with Arnold knowing about last Valentine's Day's little fiasco. That'll buy me until Monday to come up with an excuse for the whole Cecile thing! YES!'_

Helga cleared her throat. "So, uh," she looked at the Garçon, feigning a disappointed look, "Guess you've just gotta kick me and Football Head out, right?"

He sighed and said in a very frustrated voice. "Well, _technically_ we never filed charges and _technically_ the meal was paid for by your washing dishes so no, I don't HAVE to…" Helga's smile began to falter. "However," he smiled smugly and her smile picked up again, "we do have a new policy of no children allowed without the supervision of someone 13 or older."

"Well, me and him are both 13," Patty chimed in gesturing to herself and Harold. "We'll vouch for them."

All color left Helga's face.

"Yeah, sure," Harold agreed. "They're our friends."

The waiter sighed and gave Arnold and Helga another disdainful look. "Still…you are not exactly welcome here so I think it might be best if you both just—"

Suddenly, from across the room, a familiar voice was heard. "Garçon, I have been waiting for my sparkling mineral water for five minutes and it comes to me in a _cloudy_ _glass_! This simply will not do!"

The Maitre d' blinked. "Oh, oui, coming Ms. Wellington-Lloyd!"

Harold blinked and turned around. "Wait, Rhonda's here?"

"Yeah, I saw her coming in," Patty confirmed.

"_RHONDA'S_ HERE!!!" Helga practically shouted, standing up.

The other three guests at the table as well as the waiter all stared at her. She took a deep breath and sat down. "I mean…" she tried to make her voice sound enthusiastic instead of appalled, "_Rhonda's_ here…that's great!" She faked a smile. _'Oh __great__—if things weren't bad enough now there's someone across the room to keep a running account of everything that happens tonight and report it bright and early at school Monday morning._'

The waiter raised a curious eyebrow at the kids. "You four know the Wellington-Lloyds?"

Patty smiled and nodded. "Oh yeah...we go to school with Rhonda. Hey Rhonda!" Patty called to the other table.

Rhonda smiled back. "Oh, hello Patty? How is your meal going?"

Patty smiled. "Great, Rhonda. Thanks."

Rhonda smiled once more and then turned back around to continue talking to her parents.

The waiter glared in frustration at the table before him and then finally sighed. "Well, I suppose that since you know the Wellington-Lloyds and have some supervision this time, that you two are welcome to stay…" he was looking at Arnold and Helga. His eyes then shifted to Harold and Patty. "…And you two as well, naturellement."

"Garçon, my _water_!"

The waiter rubbed his temples. "I must go attend to Ms. Rhonda. I will send a busboy over with water and bread, and then return for your orders later."

Harold and Patty smiled at this fortunate turn of events.

Suddenly, the waiter leaned over between Arnold and Helga scowling. "But I will be watching you two and if _anything_ disruptive happens this evening I will have you banned from this restaurant _entirely_."

Helga couldn't help scowling and responding defensively. "For _one_ bad dinner?"

He turned to her. "No, for _two_! I recognize you now—you were also that girl last Valentine's Day who left such a mess in the bathroom."

Helga felt herself blush hotly. She did not respond. Her eyes landed on Arnold as a small laugh escaped his lips. She scowled at him and growled slightly.

With a smug smile the waiter stood up and went over to Rhonda's table.

Harold and Patty couldn't help looking at each other with raised eyebrows again, and then glancing back at Arnold and Helga.

"Helga…" Patty began, "Is there something going on between you and Arnold?"

Helga swallowed hard and hesitated, hating the phrasing of the question.

Arnold sighed and smiled smugly again, taking the opportunity to answer for her. "A lot of things, actually...right, _Helga_?"

"Arnold!" Helga glared at him, slamming her hands down on the table. He gave a slight chuckle again.

Before Patty could ask either one of them to elaborate, the busboy came over.

"Would you like some water, miss—Patty?!"

Patty whipped around and felt the color drain from her face. "Torvald?!"

"Hey!" He turned to Harold. "Hey, Harold! What's up?"

Harold blinked, completely unbelieving that _this_ person was at _this_ place _right_ now. He couldn't help scowling as he replied, "Hey, Torvald…what are _you_ doing here, exactly?"

Torvald shrugged. "Aw, I work here." He looked at the other two occupants of the table. "Hey, Arnold! Hey, Helga! How's it going?"

"Hi Torvald," Arnold replied pleasantly.

"Uh, hey, Torvald," Helga concurred, letting out a sigh and resting her weary head in one of her hands. '_Sure, the more people from school who know I'm here, the merrier. Why not…'_

"So, Patty…" Torvald turned to her, placing a breadbasket in between her and Harold. "You having good weekend?"

"Uh…" Patty glanced at Harold who was scowling darkly now with his arms crossed over his chest. She turned back to Torvald. "Yeah…_pretty_ good. You?"

"Pretty good, too." He finished pouring the water for the table. "Can I get you guys anything else?" He glanced at all four of them.

"A new busboy…" Harold mumbled under his breath.

Patty glared at him and gave his shin a firm kick under the table.

"OW!"

"You okay, Harold?" asked Torvald with concern, obviously not having heard his sarcastic request.

"He's fine, Torvald." Patty answered for him. "And no, thanks, we're okay."

Torvald shrugged. "Okay, just call me over if you want me." And with that he returned to taking care of the other tables in the dining room.

Patty smiled and waved as he left. When it looked like he was sufficiently busy doing something else she glared at Harold. "Harold, what is your problem?"

"Oh _come_ _on_!" He held out his arms in disbelief. "He's the _busboy_ at the _restaurant_! What are the odds of _that_!?!?!"

"Oh, yes, Harold, you caught me—I _planned_ this _whole_ thing!" she replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes. She glared at him. "Come on, Harold, I had no idea he worked here. And so what if he does?! He's bringing us bread and water—it's not like he's not our _waiter_ or anything! Now, come on," she picked up her menu, scowling, "let's just order and have a nice meal together, okay?"

Harold let out a grumble but picked up his menu as well and began to browse it, scowling equally as much as Patty.

Arnold and Helga just blinked and looked at the couple.

"Uh, Patty? Is everything okay?" Arnold asked tentatively.

Patty glanced over at Arnold and took a deep breath, her scowl subsiding. "Uh, yeah—everything's fine Arnold. Isn't it, Harold?" She glared at him and gave him another quick kick under the table.

"OW!" He glared at her. "Yeah, okay, we're fine! Now quit doing that!"

Patty rolled her eyes and turned back to Arnold, smiling. "Sorry, Arnold, Helga—we didn't mean to fight. Let's just all relax decide what we all want so we're ready when the waiter comes back." She turned back to her menu.

Arnold glanced from her to Harold once more, then just shrugged and went back to browsing his own menu.

Helga, meanwhile, continued to watch the two thirteen-year-olds at the other end of the table with a scrutinizing glare. Something was _definitely_ going on between them and if anyone knew about crash-and-burn romantic dinners, it was her.

Suddenly, the waiter returned. "Are we ready to order?"

Patty rubbed her eyes and took a deep breath. '_Okay, just order—When the food gets here everyone will calm down a little and maybe we can actually enjoy ourselves.'_ She cleared her throat and smiled politely at the waiter. "I'll have the Coq au vin, please." She handed him her menu.

"Very good—Mademoiselle has excellent taste." He turned to Harold. "And for monsieur?"

Harold scratched his head, turning the menu upside down in an attempt to read the French. "I'll…uh…I'll have what she ordered."

The waiter nodded and took his menu. He turned to Arnold. "And for you?"

Arnold sighed and a slight smile came to his face as he scanned the meal options before him. "Oh, I don't know…I was actually thinking about the Cervelles Braisees avec les Oeufs Brouilles…cow brains and eggs, right?" He glanced at Helga very briefly and then looked to the waiter, who nodded his assent.

Helga just blinked. '_He is __not__ doing this right now. He is __NOT__ making this night even worse by taking even more cheap shots all because I won't lay my love for him out on the table in front of two other people_. '

Arnold looked at Helga, fully grinning at this point. "What do you think, _Helga_?"

The intense emphasis on her name once again brought her out of her shock, and she found herself scowling. The good old tough-as-nails Helga was back. "Well…" she glared at him, "I don't know, Arnold…I was just going to order a _hamburger_ like we're a couple of uncouth slobs at a fast food joint instead of two mature young people at a five star French restaurant!"

Arnold's eyes widened in surprise at the response and he blushed slightly. It was Helga's turn to smile smugly now. '_That's check and mate, Football Head!_' She snagged Arnold's menu and turned to the waiter. "We'll both have the Steak Tartare. Well done on his." She handed him both menus.

"Of course." He took them. "I will return with your dinners shortly."

Arnold opened his mouth like he was about to say something to Helga when suddenly a familiar figure approached the table.

"Hello everyone? Enjoying your night out?" Rhonda had suddenly slid up near Arnold and Helga and was smiling…perhaps a bit too much.

Arnold blinked. "Oh…uh, hey Rhonda? Uh…yeah, everything's great."

Rhonda turned to Helga. "Oh, Helga—I simply love your outfit. A very smart choice!"

Helga rubbed her eyes. '_Ironic, since it was the stupidest decision of my life to wear it_.' She looked up at Rhonda and tried to fake a smile. "Well, you know me—I'm just a closet fashion diva."

Rhonda laughed and then smiled. "Yes, it seems like you really pulled out all the stops for dinner with Arnold…"

Helga blinked and felt her heart drop into her stomach. "Well…uh, well…" She knew there was probably an easy way out of this but _Rhonda_ was currently talking to her about _Arnold_ and, needless to say, she was a _bit_ nervous.

"Actually, Rhonda, Patty invited us separately. Helga and I didn't even know that we were coming until we saw each other at the door."

Helga's surprised eyes shifted to Arnold, who had just said these words of salvation with a pleasant smile on his face.

Rhonda glanced at him and a slight tone of disappointment came to her voice. "Oh…"

Helga felt like she could breathe again.

"…Helga just ended up looking so nice tonight all on her own." He smiled at Helga and then glanced down as he took a sip of his water.

Helga felt a slight blush come to her face.

Rhonda blinked at this little added comment. The smug smile returned to her face. She glanced from Arnold to Helga and then opened her mouth like she was about to say something.

"Hey guys, I—oh, hey, Rhonda! You here tonight too?"

Rhonda instantly turned her attention from Arnold and Helga to the surprising presence of Torvald at Harold and Patty's end of the table. "Torvald?! What are you doing here?" As she said this words, her grin became wider and wider.

Harold scowled and turned away from the busboy just as Patty sighed and put her head in her hand. Rhonda did not fail to notice these reactions.

Torvald smiled. "I'm a busboy. Hey, is that your table over there?" He gestured across the dining room. "I thought I heard my boss saying something about the Wellington-Lloyds being here."

Rhonda crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Yeah…we decided to get dinner here tonight as well. " She looked from Patty to Harold and to Torvald again with a smug smile. "Isn't it a coincidence that you happen to work at the same place that Harold and Patty are having dinner at?" She looked to Harold. "How do you feel about this, Harold?"

Harold blinked, surprised by the question. "Uh…well, I…"

"Rhonda, darling, enough visiting your little friends. The appetizers are here and so is your vichyssoise!"

Rhonda sighed in exasperation. "Coming, Mummy!" she called back to her mother.

She turned back to the table and Torvald and smiled. "Well, it was lovely getting to check in with you all. I might be back between courses as well—just to see how things are going."

Patty scowled. "Thank you, Rhonda, but that's really _not_ necessary."

"Oh…" she feigned innocence, "It's really _no_ trouble…This looks like it could be an interesting night for you guys…and for me."

"Rhonda, dear!" came her mother's voice again.

"Au reviour for now!" She gave a quick wave and left them.

Helga and Patty closed their eyes and sighed at the same time.

Patty opened her eyes at the sound of something being placed on the table before her and Torvald's voice saying her name. "Hey, Patty, I snuck an extra breadbasket for you guys."

Patty glanced from it to Torvald. "Oh…thanks, Torvald."

"No problem." He looked at the other kids. "Well, see you guys later."

"Hmph…now _that's_ what's not necessary….OW!" Harold reached down under the table to rub his shin that Patty had kicked yet again. Luckily, Torvald had gotten far enough away from the table so that he didn't hear his comment.

Helga and Arnold couldn't help but watch this exchange with raised eyebrows. They turned back to each other, the same questioning looks on their faces. Then both of them became very aware of the fact that the end result of this action was them looking into each other's eyes, and they quickly blushed and went back to eating bread and drinking water. It didn't help, though, that as they both went for the small basket between them their hands not only touched but they also grabbed the same bread stick.

* * *

**A/N:  
**Oh boy, there's some serious drama going on here! _What_ other wacky things will come up during this dinner? _Will_ certain secrets get revealed? _Will_ Arnold get to see the movies? And _WHO_ is Torvald's girlfriend and _what_ role could she possibly play in this story that I would even mention her to begin with?!?! All the answers to these questions and more will appear in chapter 5 (well, actually, they'll appear in chapter 5 and possibly chapter 6 depending on how things play out). I hope you guys are enjoying this so far and stay tuned for the next installment of Dinner AND a Show!

**TA UPDATE:**

For anyone following Tutoring Arnold, guess what?!?! I finished chapter 12…I finished Epilogue 1…I'm almost done with Epilogue 2…So…as soon as I repost the other chapters with some minor grammar edits and find a closing line for Epilogue 2, the conclusion will be up and it is epic (like '50,000 words in total' epic). So, get ready guys, because it is coming soon ;) Sorry, I was so excited to get so much of it done that I had to tell someone, lol.

Happy Reading!!!  
AXH FOREVER!!!


	5. Heartburn

**A/N:**

Wow, it has been like over a year since I last updated this! Sorry, guys! Seriously ^_^ I just got wrapped up in so many other projects, LTBH in particular is basically like giving birth or something every time I post a new chapter of that, plus this story's just a little stickier for me to write since there's basically two A plots going on at once in the same place at the same time, plus a million B plots XD Anyway, there'll probably be just another chapter or two of this until it's all wrapped up ^w^ The next thing I'll probably update though will be April 2nd since I've been working on the draft of that a lot lately, lol.

I hope you guys like this, and that a 17,000 word chapter will make up at least a little for the epic delay! :)

**Dinner AND a Show!**

**Chapter 5:**

'**Heartburn'**

* * *

The breadstick currently being held on one end by a surprised Arnold and on the other end by an even more surprised Helga suddenly snapped in two, leaving the boy and girl in question holding equal pieces. "Oh…" Arnold looked back up at his dinner companion. "Sorry, Helga."

He moved his hand forward slightly, about to offer her the other half of the breadstick and take a separate whole stick of his own, when she held up her free hand in a halting manner. "Uh…don't worry about, Arnol—uh, Football Head." She finally made eye contact with him again, and she tried to laugh. "I mean, don't wanna fill up on bread before the meal gets here, especially if there's a chance this'll be our last time at this place if anything chaotic randomly happens tonight and we get kicked out, right?"

Arnold couldn't help but smile at the comment, and say back to Helga in a bit of a low (but still playful) voice so that Harold and Patty (who were currently occupied with glaring at each other a bit, considering the latest Torvald development) couldn't overhear, "Well, we all have money this time and you already avoided ordering the cow brains and eggs so…it _looks_ like we're off to a good start, don't you think so, Helga?"

He knew there was a chance that Helga would get angry at him again for a making another reference to last Valentine's Day tonight, but he also had a feeling that despite the few scowls and the steak tartare joke she had dished out, she really wouldn't have minded the chance to share a small laugh about it all.

And he noticed, looking at Helga's reaction to his statement, that he was right: she was trying to scowl but there was a definite grin forming on her face at the rhetorical question. Finally her heard her laugh slightly so that only they could hear. She rolled her eyes, and replied quietly, "Oh yeah: Rhonda, my outfit, that snooty waiter, you and me less than three feet from each other for the next hour or so…none of _that_ reeks of a disaster waiting to happen."

Arnold couldn't help but laugh slightly to himself, which made Helga roll her eyes and sigh, leaning back in her chair. '_Okay, okay,_' she thought to herself, just enjoying the sight of his smile for a moment, '_Even though there's a bunch of people around he probably did have a little bit of a right to suddenly have a million Cecile questions when he saw me before…And I guess, considering all of the other things he could have possibly done in response to me shutting him down about it, emphasizing my name a few times and saying an ambiguous sentence or two weren't __so__ bad.' _She sighed to herself, still smiling. '_And…maybe I deserved it from him…a __little__…since I'm the one who tricked him into the dinner the first time…and the second time…_' The second outing at Chez Paris entering Helga's mind made her unconsciously smile just a bit more. '_And the point is_, _at least he's trying to be more discreet now…And what he said WAS actually a little funny… And he's not just plain freaking out about this whole thing which is DEFINITELY more than I deserve, all things considered.'_ For the first time ever since it had happened, Helga couldn't help but be a little thankful for her confession—at least Arnold's unconfirmed knowledge that she loved him had sort of prepared him for finding out something like this… '_If he hadn't had a clue and had suddenly turned Cecile around only to see me…'_ Helga felt a shudder go through her at the possibilities, most of which started with Arnold passing out in the middle of Chez Paris and then continued on from there with various revealing exclamations of surprise he might make upon waking up… '_Finally, me and my big mouth pay off…._' She let out a small mental sigh of relief at the thought.

Meanwhile, now that the initial shock of discovering the identity of his mystery date from last Valentine's Day had worn off and his frustration with Helga about avoiding it had been tempered by a few well-placed jabs at her, Arnold was left just sitting and smiling to himself…a little amazed at how Helga had managed to pull off such an elaborate ruse and a little amused at her attempts to cover things up so far this evening. '_So…Helga was Cecile…Helga __is__ Cecile…' _He almost wanted to laugh now that it was all finally sinking in. It was… He did his best not to chuckle again. It was…actually kind of funny, and silly…and also a little sweet when you thought about it. _'I…guess her being Cecile should still be surprising me a lot more than it is, but…for some reason it actually makes sense to me…and_…' and this was the truth, _'All I really want to know now is why she didn't just tell me everything that night.'_ Yes, he wanted to know why, on that lovely night, she hadn't just told him. Why make him wait? The time had seemed so perfect, come to think of it. He could almost feel himself about to open his mouth to ask her right now.

But then, however, Arnold's eyes came a tiny bit back into focus as he prepared to begin this action…and he instantly quieted, recalling the very full restaurant around them. _'No, not right now…I should remember what Gerald said on the bus on Friday—no matter how much I want to talk to Helga about things I can't just do it whenever I feel like it. Especially with so many people from school around. I should wait.' _And indeed Arnold mentally sighed to himself and recalled that along with the tables full of people whom they didn't even know all around them, Harold and Patty were just off to their sides, Rhonda was just across the dining room and Torvald would probably be popping up a few times during this night since he was their busboy. And even though Torvald didn't seem to have too much to say about him and Helga on a date…Rhonda sure seemed interested in the subject…and Helga seemed very nervous about that fact. _'I just hope what I said to Rhonda before about how Helga and I both ended up here tonight helped Helga a little_…' Arnold smiled to himself a little more…and felt just a touch of heat come to his face, though he tried to ignore it. _'And I hope what I said about how she looks didn't make it worse somehow…but I really wanted to make up for trying to get back at her before for not letting me talk about the Cecile thing…'_ He sighed to himself, finally glancing away from his plate to Helga once again, who was just staring down at hers...obviously in a little bit of thought herself at the moment…and smiling as well. _'She really does look nice tonight though…just like last Valentine's day.' _

Still, though, a small part of Arnold couldn't help but regret that Helga didn't look quite _exactly_ like she had that night anymore… _'I kind of wish she'd put her hair down again, though…I mean, it's not like there's anything else to hide or keep secret from me anymore…and it's also…really kind of pretty that way…I wonder if she knows that?'_ For just a second Arnold found himself really looking at Helga and recalling that night so many months ago when she had sat across from him smiling with her hand on the table and told him that she really liked him and asked him if he liked her too…And how he'd felt himself reach forward to take her lovely hand, glowing in the flame of the candle between them, before he had suddenly remembered that if he was going to finish the night leaving with the warm, interesting girl in front of him the least he could do was make sure he went and told Ruth the truth about everything and apologized first…

Arnold rested his head on one of his hands, continuing to smile kind of goofily at Helga as he had been unconsciously doing for several seconds as his thoughts had progressed…

"Hey, Football Head, could you pass the bu—"

Apparently, Helga had decided that the remainder of her bread needed a bit of butter (which was currently right in front of Arnold). As she had asked the casual question, though, she had finally looked up at him and away from her plate (putting her thoughts on the subject of herself and Arnold aside for now)…and the sight of Arnold smiling at her again (just as he had been doing on the bus on Friday when she'd turned in his direction only to see him randomly doing so) made Helga freeze, her eyes widening and her heart pounding slightly!

Meanwhile, at the sound of Helga's request and at suddenly finding himself staring right into her wide blue eyes once again, Arnold blinked and suddenly became really fully aware of the thoughts he had just been having! A little, full blush came to his features! "Oh, um…here…" Instantly, he just gave a small sheepish chuckle and pushed the butter towards Helga, and then proceeded to look up and tug at his collar a bit, suddenly doing his best to find the light fixture hanging over the table very, very interesting…and trying hard to get that image out of his head of her sitting across from him on that Valentine's night. It was making him feel…funny. And he'd already been feeling funny enough around Helga lately…

"Hey, guys, what's so funny?" Harold.

Apparently Arnold's sheepish chuckle had been a little loud and had broken through the tension on the other end of the table to reach Harold Berman's ears. However, the football headed boy in question was currently so caught up in trying to avoid eye contact with or too many more blush-worthy thoughts about Helga G. Pataki, and Helga G. Pataki was too caught up in still just having her eyes wide and her jaw a little agape at having caught Arnold gazing at her for the second time within forty eight hours that neither fourth grader really noticed Harold's address.

"Uh…Arnold, Helga…you guys okay?" Patty this time.

Arnold still looked at the lights (though he made a quick glance down at one of Helga's hands on the table, but then instantly his eyes were back up and boring holes into the ceiling once more), and Helga still looked at Arnold (though she glanced down at least once—actually, right when he had looked at her hand, coincidentally enough, causing her to miss his quick gaze in that direction. It was almost like she was trying to figure something out…). Yet suddenly though Helga's eyes came up again just as Arnold's eyes decided to experiment with coming back down again… Green met blue and both sets of eyes were instantly locked into one another…unblinking…unsure…unable to look away.

Okay, now, on the other end of the foursome's small table, Patty was pretty certain at this point that even though Harold was a boy and even though he could be a little slow about picking up on emotional subtleties…even HE would figure out, if this went on for any longer, that Arnold and Helga having been whispering and giggling to and then trying to avoid each other, and now just staring nervously into each other's eyes _might_ tip him off to the fact that there was something going on between the two kids…something Helga obviously did NOT want other people knowing about, if possible.

"Helga!" Patty suddenly called firmly and then she even reached over to the young, blonde girl and actually gave her the lightest nudge she could in the shoulder!

"OW!" Helga winced considerably and instantly shut her eyes and rubbed the top of her arm. Even barely trying, Patty Smith had always had a lot of power behind her.

"Sorry, Helga…" Patty gave her a significant look. "You seemed, um…distracted. A-And, um…" she searched for another reason to have nudged the girl like that, but, unfortunately, could only come up with one. _'Sorry, Helga_.' "And also Harold and I were wondering what you guys were, uh, laughing about over there." Most likely they'd been doing some flirting…and that was why Patty hated having to bring up the question again of what was so funny…but it was the only natural way of moving things along that she could come up with.

"Yeah," the brunette sixth grader heard Harold agree across from her, and Patty's eyes shot to him…and then she breathed out a small sigh of relief: he was smiling normally, no look of suspicion in his eyes. ('_Thank goodness…_') "What's the joke?" the portly fourth grader asked, his smile growing at whatever it might be that was so funny. (On a side note, it suddenly occurred to Patty that Arnold and Helga had just actually managed to distract Harold from the whole Torvald situation and even though she felt guilty about it, she couldn't help but feel a little happy about the momentary relief from her _own_ private romantic situation/catastrophe.)

In response to the inquiry first from Patty and now Harold (as well as the sharp little tingles of pain still going through her shoulder from Patty's punch), Helga, suddenly realizing her situation, gave a small cough and then did her best to smile and answer (and NOT look like a total spazz while doing so). "Oh! Uh…the joke! Uh…yeah. Heh…well, um…Football Head and I were just, um…making peace together, actually. Y-You know, we're finally used to the fact that we're here and together tonight so we figured that we should just bury the hatchet for the rest of this dinner and…try and enjoy ourselves. Especially since we don't want to ruin your evening either, you guys…right, Arnold?" Helga glanced at him both with meaning and uncertainty…not only did she want him to go along with the explanation but she wanted to be sure that he really was willing to call a truce: that he really wasn't seriously annoyed at her or anything anymore for all of this Cecile stuff.

To Helga's immense happiness and relief, the football headed boy across from her looked at her with confusion only for a second…and then smiled…and then nodded his head affirmatively and cleared his throat and turned to Harold and Patty, adding to her explanation as casually as could be, "Uh, yeah. I mean, Helga and I _are_ friends even if we don't act like it sometimes. And with you two being here and us already being here and that waiter keeping an eye on us…we just decided to spend the rest of dinner being nice and…getting to know each other better…That's why we were smiling and talking and laughing a little." He turned to Helga and couldn't help going on… "Actually, I feel like lately I've been getting to know Helga _a lot_ better…And, um…anything else you'd be willing to share with me, I'd love to hear, Helga. I like you, Helga." Arnold smiled a little more…and then gave Helga a small wink…And he had no idea where it came from but he really did not care. It had felt right and so he had done it: and he always _had_ had a compulsion for doing the right thing.

Helga blushed. She knew it was bad to do that: Harold was right next to her and watching her, Rhonda probably had her eyes glued to her from across the restaurant, Torvald would certainly be swinging by any second to perform some more busboy duties, and who knew who else could be in this joint right here and now seeing her all dolled up and eating dinner right across from Arnold and blushing of all things…But…at the same time…the love of her life had just said that he liked getting to know her, basically that he had liked hearing her confession…and also that he…LIKED HER! "I…uh…" she started in an attempt at a response to her beloved Football Head's very unexpected statement.

"Ah, so, Arnold…you _like_ Helga, huh?"

"Mm!" Helga squeaked out! She completely straightened and her eyes went wide! '_Rhonda off the port bow…Oh boy…I should just take the butter knife and plunge it through my heart and save the humiliation the trouble of killing me, shouldn't I?'_

Indeed, the stylish, dark haired girl was suddenly over at the table again, standing at the end that put her right between Arnold and Helga…and grinning smugly.

And Arnold was blushing now too, his eyes a little wide in panic, having NOT expected Rhonda's sudden return at all! "Well, I…Y-Yes, of course, Rhonda…" he managed (thankfully without stuttering _too_ much). He looked to her and did his best to just smile normally. "Helga's my friend. Just like you're my friend and Patty's my friend…and I just want her to know that there's no hard feelings from any of the fights we've been having lately."

"Rhonda, I know fancy restaurants like this are _your_ element but putting the Football Head on the spot is MY element, so if you've got nothing better to do than confirm the fact that two people who have known each other for over two thirds of their lives can stand being around each other for a night, can you just let us get back to our meal?" Arnold's eyes flew to Helga at this sudden address from her to Rhonda. To his surprise the blonde haired girl was no longer blushing and scared looking as she had been just seconds ago, but now scowling and sounding rather determined and forceful…

And indeed Helga G. Pataki was planning to nip this whole 'Rhonda popping by every time she finished a course or a glass of water or just felt like it' thing right in the bud!_ 'If she wants to give __me__ a hard time, it's one thing…But NO ONE messes with Arnold!'_

Rhonda blinked at Helga's words and turned her own scowl in her direction. "Well I never!" Her hands went to her hips. "Come on, Helga, you've basically been forced into a date with Arnold tonight! And you're NOT furious about it! And you're…blushing! And he LIKES you!" She smirked and leaned in a little, looking Helga. "It's…interesting…don't you agree, Helga?"

"Rhonda, leave her alone," Patty suddenly cut in, in a level, firm voice, feeling more than entitled to interrupt. After all, it was her own doing that Helga was here in the first place, and all because she was trying to help out Helga with Arnold…and Helga did not deserve to be put through some kind of public confrontation about her feelings.

Rhonda instantly glanced up and at Patty. "But Patty, I—" she started.

Patty just shook her head, scowling. "No."

Rhonda looked at her in frustration for a second or two longer but then just let out a deep sigh and straightened up, crossing her arms over her chest. "Okay, then, can I at LEAST get filled in on the real details about the whole situation between you and Harold and—"

"_No_." Patty was firm once more and she even gripped the table a little this time, trying to keep her temper from getting the better of her.

"Princess, I'd do what she says…" Helga smirked, crossing her arms over her chest as she addressed Rhonda again. "I don't care if we ARE in public—do you really want to give TWO champion schoolyard bullies a reason? Wouldn't it be easier to just leave us and…whatever our situations might be tonight…alone?"

The boys, meanwhile, were finding this whole little exchange among the ladies rather interesting…and also a little confusing. They looked to each other and shrugged and then looked back at the girls again.

"_But_…" Rhonda let out a bit of a huff and looked from a smirking Helga to a firmly scowling Patty and back again. "Oh…Oh _fine_!" Her arms were straight out at her sides in frustration. "But mark my words if there _is_ something that the students have a right to know going on at this table, I will find out the details one way or another! Rhonda Wellington Lloyd is never not the first one to know what's going on behind the scenes at P.S. 118! _Ladies_…" she nodded to the girls, "_Boys_…" she nodded to Harold and Arnold as well, and then with a smile walked back over to her table…glancing back and making a V with the index and middle fingers of one of her hands and pointing it from her own eyes back to the table in an 'I'm watching you' gesture as she went.

Helga and Patty just looked at Rhonda go with a blink and looked to each other…and then smiled a little and nodded at having gotten the gossipy girl to leave.

"Hey, can I refill anyone's water?"

And now another problem, of course, came right up to the table…bearing a water pitcher in his hand and a smile on his face.

"Here you go, Patty." Torvald topped off her water glass first, leaning down with a smile. "Oh and hey…" he suddenly whispered, looking from side to side…and then he pulled out a small plate from behind his back and slipped it onto the table between her and Harold. "I snuck you guys a little brie for your bread from the kitchen. On the house. Just to say thank you." He winked.

"Uh…thank you, Torvald," Patty managed in her normal level tone… What _wasn't_ normal, though, was the fact that she was now blushing just a little…just like in the cafeteria on Friday when Torvald had suddenly shown up at her table and offered her an extra tapioca pudding by surprise. Because, just like that time, she...really hadn't expected this little bit of special treatment from her tutoring friend. And also, for a girl who hadn't really had much luck with boys really liking her in any way until only a few months ago with Harold…something like getting a little smile and a little bit of special treatment like this was kind of big for her. '_Even Harold doesn't really—'_

"Yes. THANK YOU, _Torvald_." Speaking of Harold, this firm reply came from the boy in question instantly following Patty's own thank you about the brie. Patty blinked and looked over at her date and could see him scowling. He went on. "And uh, don't busboys usually just clean up tables AFTER people have eaten?" Harold drummed his fingers on the table and tried to resist the urge to punch someone…preferably Torvald.

Patty instantly let out an annoyed sigh through her nose and gave Harold another nice little kick under the table. He winced but the scowl in Torvald's direction remained. Apparently he was getting used to her kicks and learning to take them in stride. '_Perfect…'_

Torvald, meanwhile, just shrugged at Harold's question and straightened up again, walking around the table to give quick refills to the rest of the water glasses. Harold sounded a little…annoyed with him…but Torvald had been learning over the last few months not to take everything anyone said as some kind of challenge, and also he was at work so he wasn't about to look for any kind of a reason to lose his temper. Plus, Patty and Harold and Arnold and Helga were his friends. They had no need to be confrontational. "Yeah, sure," he merely replied, still smiling just like he had been all night, "but you guys are my friends. I figured a little special treatment was in order. And hey, by the way, you all clean up nice." He glanced across the table and gave a small chuckle. "Hardly even recognized you, Helga, especially with your hair down before."

"You wouldn't be first…" Helga and Arnold said it at exactly the same time. Upon which they blinked and looked to each other and then just sighed and half smiled, giving up on keeping the ironic comments relegated to their heads at this point.

Torvald just smiled in return and turned his sights back to Patty. "And Patty, you look great too, of course. I like your dress."

That blush was back in Patty's face. Even Harold hadn't said anything about how she looked tonight. "Thanks…" She glanced to the side a little uncomfortably and shifted in her seat.

Harold actually growled a little. "Yes. She's beautiful. And she's my…my date. Now aren't there a million other tables in this place!" He crossed his arms over his chest and slouched in his seat and let out a sigh. '_Who does he think he is, making her blush like that…'_ He was seething inside and had never felt this way before. _'I oughta…_' It took everything he had to keep from standing up, announcing he ought to pound Torvald, and then just doing it!

From her chair across from Harold, Patty blinked. And her heart skipped in kind of a funny way. '_Beautiful…Date.'_

"Oh yeah, a busboy's work is never done, huh?" Torvald just shrugged, still with a good-natured smile. _'Must be some girl trouble. Eh, women…_' He almost laughed, having had more than a few trying experiences with his own girlfriend over the last few weeks. Yes, he could definitely relate. "Actually, I've gotta get over to Rhonda's table asap," he announced, jerking his thumb in the direction of the Wellington-Lloyd's table, "My boss is really worried about impressing her family tonight. See you guys a little later. Bye Patty." He winked at the table and then zipped away.

Arnold looked to Helga (clueless little thing that he was), seeking some clarity on what had just happened, but Helga was busy at the moment looking to Patty with part of her brow raised (obviously letting her know that she was obviously aware that there was some kind of Torvald/Harold situation going on right now and that she was curious about it). Patty just looked to Helga and shrugged and cleared her throat and glanced away (letting her know that 'it was what it was' and that she wasn't sure what to add, and also that now might not be the best time for details) and Harold just looked at Patty…and felt furious that another boy had made her blush like that before he had! And when he was on a date with her, no less!

Finally, Patty just sighed and looked back at Harold, a firm look on her face and in NO mood: no mood at all to hear another inevitably jealous comment from Harold especially when…she was really kind of not sure how to respond to his jealousy anymore. After all…Torvald just saying 'hi' since he was their busboy had obviously just been a friendly thing…but…making sure to come back over as often as possible, free cheese, complimenting her outfit, the winks_. 'Uh oh. What if he's…got a crush on me or something?_' The worst part was that Patty had sort of mixed feelings about this idea. She liked Harold, of course… 'like liked' him…there was no question of that…But still, once again, she had never gotten too much attention from boys and even Harold tended to keep things very casual and low key. But Torvald had been doing all of these little things and she couldn't help but feel…special because of them. So she just took a breadstick and took some cheese and proceeded to look down and eat and it and ignore Harold still scowling in her direction.

Seeing her avoiding eye contact like this, Harold just rolled his eyes to the side and slouched in his seat all the more_. 'Oh, we are having a __big__ talk about this later. I don't care what she says—she's been spending time with Torvald and now she's all blushing around him too!_' He let out a little huff of a sigh through his nose at the thought. '_I'M the only one who's supposed to make her blush. After all, she's MY…my…_' He was stuck suddenly and it only frustrated him all the more. _Technically_ she wasn't officially his girlfriend. _Technically_ that word had never been brought up. _Technically_ this was the first real, official, grownup, date-like thing they had ever done together. _Technically_ he'd never even kissed her (or any girl for that matter…but especially not her…not yet, anyway.)_ 'But how the heck am I supposed to get the chance with some guy moving in on my territory! She's MY cool awesome fun…girl person…Not Torvald's…Mine…_' He did his best not to blush at all of that suddenly swirling around in his head…and then took a breadstick and on principle ate it plain instead of going for _any_ of TORVALD'S cheese.

The 'happy young teenage couple' remained mired in their thoughts like this for the time being, chewing in frustration on their individual breadsticks.

Meanwhile, on the other end of the table, having spent the last minute or so observing Harold and Patty's behavior and reactions during and following Torvald's latest visit, Helga's romantically savvy head was now working a mile a minute. _'Okay…There is obviously some form of a love triangle going on over there. And Patty is obviously drowning in it. Still, maybe this can be a good thing for me: if I can focus this dinner on helping smooth things over between her and Harold and Torvald, maybe nothing'll ever have to come back to me and Arnold's situation. And maybe I can get out of this dinner __alive__!_' Her eyes traveled back to Arnold almost automatically at the thought of him and then went a little wide. He was looking at her again…into her eyes…just like before…and she…couldn't look away…also just like before! Why was he looking at her so deeply…and AGAIN of all things? '_What—is he just fascinated by me and the fact that I'm such a basketcase about him or something? Gawking a little at the freakish fourth grade girl in love? WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM ME? DON'T WE HAVE SOME KIND OF A TRUCE SET UP OR SOMETHING?'_

"Hey, take a picture, bucko—it'll last longer!" Helga finally couldn't help announcing to him quietly on defensive reflex with a bit of an indignant scowl.

Arnold (who had actually been rather enjoying a small chance to just look at Helga again tonight) blinked once at her address…but then just smiled…and glanced down…and then paused for moment…and then finally just took another breadstick to eat as he suddenly simply said quietly back to her, "Sorry, Helga. I was just thinking that…I think I liked your hair better down like it was before. Sorry…" he finished sincerely. '_Why did I say that about her hair? She's probably going to punch me right across the table or something. Why did I say that?_' He looked down shyly. He had no idea why he had let it pop out of his mouth, but now he had…and he could only wait to see what the consequence would be.

And then a movement caught Arnold's eye. And he looked up. And his jaw just about fell.

Helga had just reached up and undone her ribbon, causing her bun of blonde hair to slouch lazily at the top of her head.

Suddenly she held out the small pink slip of silk to him from across the table. "Hold this please, Arnold."

Arnold gulped…and then reached forward and took the ribbon… He didn't blink.

He watched as Helga ran her hands through her hair a few times until it was down and soft and hanging around her shoulders.

She then reached out a hand. "My bow please, Arnold," she said simply.

Arnold barely managed to push his hand with the item in question forward.

Helga took the ribbon and then retied it at the top of her head into its usual pink bow. And then she let out a sigh and looked at him with only the slightest scowl. "Satisfied?" she mumbled out with a shrug.

Arnold just…nodded.

Helga let out another small sigh and did her best to go back to eating the last of her breadstick and to ignore whatever Arnold might be doing or reacting like right now. In truth, she had no idea why she'd just gone and done that—putting her hair down like that again. It would certainly get Rhonda's attention, Torvald would see her looking like that again, Harold would see her looking like that again, Patty would see her looking like that again, and of course Arnold would see her looking like that _again_. It was stupid, really. But then again this whole night, everything since her confession…heck everything _before_ her confession…seemed stupid suddenly lately so why the heck not?

Arnold, meanwhile, was having an…issue at the moment.

You see, ever since Helga had given him her ribbon to hold, his heart had been beating kind of…funny…his stomach had felt all light and twisted inside…and he'd felt very warm all over…And all that ran through his head over and over was that same lovely memory from the last time she'd been here with him dressed like that…her hair down… 'I really like you, Arnold. And I need to know…do you like me too?'

That funny beating of his heart increased like crazy.

He had barely noticed when Helga had taken the ribbon away. And then she had asked him if he was 'satisfied.'

He had just nodded. He was really confused at the moment. Very, very confused. So very confused. 'Helga, you're on a date with Arnold!' Rhonda's words echoed in Arnold's head. And they were _indeed_ on a date. NOT helping the confusion. Not helping the confusion at all that…he was sitting across from a pretty, funny, girl he liked ('I like you, Helga')…Not helping that she was in love with him ('I love you, Arnold. I've always loved you'). Not helping that…a small part of him wished this date was a bit more private…Not helping. None of it helping. And he was blushing around her and the only time he ever blushed around a girl was when he…when he… Oh forget why Helga didn't just confess that Valentine's Day night…the better question was… _'What would I have said that night…if she hadn't caught me with Ruth? If I had come back here to our table…and given her an answer…'_ Oh why oh why did a hair ribbon have so much control over his heart?

"Your dinner is served!" A snooty French accent interrupted the personal conundrums of the four seated dinnergoers. All eyes turned to Jacques, standing there with a silver tray held high in one hand (and looking a little frazzled, obviously from this whole 'Wellington-Lloyds' thing.) He took out a small handkerchief with his free hand and dabbed his brow, then put the item away and leaned down.

"For you two, the Coq au vin…" The maitre d' placed two identical chicken dishes in front of Harold and then Patty.

Jacques turned to Arnold and Helga. "And for mademoiselle, the steak tartare…"

He placed the plate in front of Helga. She rubbed her hands together, so very happy for food to focus on. "Great, I'm starving!" '_I'm surprised I'm still able to pick up a fork after everything that's happened in the last half hour_…' she mentally added to herself, snagging her fork to dig in.

"And for monsieur—the steak tartare well done." The maitre d' placed the plate of slightly more browned meat in front of Arnold. "Now if you four will excuse me, I have to—"

"Garçon! Another order of escargot over here, please! _Tout suite!"_ Rhonda's voice rang out across the dining room.

The waiter sighed and rubbed one of his temples with one of his hands. "Qui, mademoiselle Rhonda. Naturalmont!" he called out and then turned back to the four kids at the table. "Er…Enjoy your meal." He nodded and then raced off to do Rhonda's bidding.

The four kids couldn't help looking to each other…and then rolling their eyes and smiling a little despite whatever personal predicaments they might have been in the middle of internally dealing with, unable to help mutually finding Rhonda's always demanding nature just a little amusing. Then they all turned to their respective meals to finally start digging in.

Arnold picked up a fork and took a bite of his steak tartare…and hadn't finished chewing it before an interesting thought occurred to him… (Plus, since this particular thought was something that could only be resolved by the girl in front of him, it would…give him a chance to look up and admire that…long blonde hair some more…though he tried not to think too much about _that_ little bonus…or the fact that he was processing it as a 'bonus' in the first place). "Hey, Helga?"

Helga swallowed some of her steak and took a sip of her water, trying to keep calm and casual and just enjoy her meal. "Yeah, Football Head?" she responded, bringing her eyes up to meet his again.

Arnold's face bore a look of genuine curiosity. "How did you know I would want it well done? The steak tartare, I mean."

Helga just took another bite of her food and replied, without thinking much of it (it seemed like an innocent enough question, after all), "Well, doi—that's the way you ordered it last time, Football Head. Or _tried_ to before Jeeves over there cut you off because he got all in a huff that you tried to order a hamburger first." She smiled just a little smugly, not only enjoying taking a jab at their snooty waiter but still personally taking just a bit of pride in the small joke she had made before at Arnold's expense in retaliation to the cow brains and eggs comment he had nailed her with.

Arnold blinked, a half grin coming to his face. He put his fork down. "You remember that? From all that time ago?"

Helga's eyes went wide and she gave a deep swallow, realizing how much of her obsession with Arnold she had just let slip to him. Her fork made a light clatter to her plate below. "Oh…well…y-yeah…Arnold…" She really didn't know how else to respond.

Having caught this little bit of conversation, Patty couldn't help glancing over at Arnold and Helga with an eyebrow raised, her frustrations about the Torvald/Harold having ebbed a tiny bit with the passage of a few minutes and with the arrival of their meals. "But weren't you two only here a couple of weeks ago with Gerald and Phoebe?" she couldn't help but ask in a little bit of confusion.

Harold blinked at the question from his date and them glanced over at Arnold and Helga as well, a similar look of confusion on his face. "Yeah—that raffle was only last month, right?"

Arnold and Helga both blushed slightly…and then looked to Harold and Patty.

"Well…it…feels a lot longer than that, I guess…" Helga managed to mumble, glancing down.

"Not _that_ long…_Helga_…" Helga's breath caught in her throat a little and she glanced over to see Arnold smiling slightly to himself. He had emphasized her name once again this evening but this time…it wasn't in that mocking tone like before…He had just said it almost like it was something…nice, Helga noticed…A word he enjoyed saying. The very idea of that made everything inside of her flutter and dance. The idea that he liked her name in any way… _'Oh…'_

On Arnold's end, the football headed boy just found himself blinking at the comment that had just slipped out of his mouth. Another random thing popping out of him so very randomly tonight. '_Where did that come from…and what do I even mean by that?'_ He mentally sighed to himself, doing his best not to look at Helga_. 'I'm probably really going to make her angry again if I keep saying things like that…I-I mean, she doesn't seem angry yet but…_' Once again, he recalled Gerald's advice from Friday. _'I don't want to upset her again or put her in an awkward position. I should, um…just go back to keeping the comments to myself, probably.'_

From across the table, Harold and Patty couldn't help but watch this small exchange between Arnold and Helga with confused faces once again this evening…

…_Once again_, that was, until Patty recalled that Harold was probably about half a second away from picking up on something going on between their friends again (if he hadn't done so _already_, of course). And so she cleared her throat and prompted Arnold and Helga to keep the conversation casual and moving along. "So, how did the four of you end up coming here anyway? Rhonda mentioned to me something about a gift certificate…" She smiled.

Arnold smiled and looked up to Patty, happy for a minor change of subject. "Yeah. Helga won it, and then Gerald called me up that night and said Phoebe had asked him to come to dinner with her and Helga and that he should invite a friend and…" He paused and blinked like he had just realized something…and then turned to Helga, an impressed look upon his face. "…And since I'm his best friend, he asked _me_."

Helga stopped any attempt at eating. She could almost feel his eyes on her. She looked up from her plate to confirm that he was indeed looking at her with just a small little smug grin, and then swallowed the bite of steak tartare in her mouth and glanced away. "Uh…yeah…" she shrugged nervously, "I just told Phoebe to invite whoever and to have that person bring a friend and it just worked out that the person was Gerald and that the friend was Arnold…Heh, heh…Random, huh?"

A chuckle from Arnold. "Yeah…just a happy clever accident, right Helga? _Very_ clever actually…"

Helga froze and blushed so much! '_Clever_?' No, she wasn't…She was just obsessive! It was something to be insulted about, not complimented on! She just shrugged once more, almost trembling in shyness. "I-I…guess…"

Patty just smiled a little more from her seat, forgetting entirely about her whole sticky little Torvald/Harold situation for the moment and just kind of enjoying how sweet Arnold and Helga really were together…him all smiling and her all stammering and the two of them blushing a little. It was kind of adorable, really. She let out a sigh and did her best to help Helga out once more this evening with keeping things from getting too awkward between her and Arnold and with still keeping Harold in the dark. "Well, it sounds like you guys had a good time…except for whatever happened here to upset that waiter so much." She ended on the joke, jerking her thumb in the direction the maître d' had gone.

Even though Patty had obviously meant the question innocently enough, Helga couldn't help but blush just a little again as the details of that last embarrassing outing here at Chez Paris flooded her mind. "Heh, yeah…That was a...whoo, quite a story…Heh…" She rubbed the back of her neck with her free hand and just tried to focus on her food again.

"Actually, it was a really fun night," Arnold suddenly supplied, seeing how nervous Helga seemed about the topic and wanting to let her know that it was nothing to be embarrassed about. "There were a few bumps…but Helga was a great hostess and we all had a really good time." He chuckled a little to himself, swallowing another bite of food...and trying not to blush…but he couldn't help reminiscing. "Remember doing the dishes, Helga? How we got in that water fight in the kitchen together after Gerald and Phoebe left?"

"Uh…" Yeah, a squirming and still lightly blushing Helga 'vaguely' recalled how (after Phoebe's parents had shown up that night and Phoebe had offered Gerald a ride home) that little squirt with the sink sprayer and smile Arnold had given her earlier that evening had escalated into the two of them spraying and flicking water at each other over and over again, laughing, feeling happy, playing a little game... It had been wonderful for Helga, absolutely wonderful! (Although, of course, she had sworn to never bring it up again—she didn't want to read too much into it. But apparently Arnold had had different ideas…). "Yeah, you sprayed me, I got annoyed and sprayed you, heh…" She took and chewed another bite of her food. "Mmm…uh…g-good steak…" She gave a small, sheepish grin.

Arnold just rolled his eyes and smiled at her nervousness. This wasn't some big romantic 'rooftop' thing…it was just a harmless game between friends. Why not talk about it? "Oh come on, Helga…I think you had fun…"

"N-No, I…"

"I think you _did_…"

"Arnold!" She scowled a little.

"Is that why you kept giggling every time the water hit you towards the end?" He couldn't help the topper, smiling just a little smugly (and also…maybe just a little dreamily…)

"Oh my…Helga, you _giggle_, huh?" Rhonda had just slipped over...and slipped into her favorite little nook right at the end of the table between Arnold and Helga. "Sorry, just searching for our waiter. Mummy and Daddy said I could have some sparkling apple cider and I wanted to put in the order before we get too far into our meal." Her sights turned specifically to Helga again. "So…a little water fight alone with Arnold and giggling and blushing…Oh this is very delicious, Helga." She looked like a hungry cat in sight of a full plate of fresh fish.

Helga blushed furiously and blurted out in a high-pitched voice, she was so flustered and nervous at this point! "Okay, I had fun that night! Uh…does anyone else but me seriously LOVE this French food?" She took another bite of her steak and chewed and swallowed and secretly prayed that Nadine's cockroaches had laid eggs in the rafters or something while they had been loose in this place, and that said eggs would suddenly hatch and re-infest the restaurant and give her an excuse to bail from the clutches of the smug looking girl before her!

Across the table, Patty was in the middle of standing up to send Rhonda away again NOW (and she was exceptionally worried at this point because she had just glanced at Harold and he was very noticeably losing his complacent look and starting to seem a little curious about the blonde couple at the other end of their table).

However, surprisingly, Arnold took care of things instead. "Well…" he suddenly (and unexpectedly) started to reply to Rhonda's comment in a level, calm voice, "I think Helga's just blushing now, Rhonda, because you keep surprising her and also…it sounds like you're trying to embarrass her a little…about her outfit and the fact that she agreed to a truce with me tonight. She's just being nice…Maybe…you could try being nice too."

There had been a very slight edge to the young boy's voice as he had spoken…which was very very VERY rare for Arnold. And the whole table, including Rhonda, just stopped and blinked and looked to him, more than noticing his tone. He was just sitting there now though, cutting another piece of his steak and eating it, dabbing at the corner of his mouth with a napkin.

Interestingly enough, Harold spoke next. "Yeah, Rhonda…Why are you picking on Arnold and Helga?" Harold could understand the few comments Rhonda might have been making to Patty tonight, teasing her a little about being out to dinner like this with him, just like the guys had been teasing him on the bus the other day. But…Arnold and Helga? So they weren't trying to kill each other with the cutlery…What was the big deal?

Rhonda's attention instantly went to Harold and she looked at him in disbelief. "Harold, I know you've got your own romantic problems to deal with tonight, but you can't seriously not see that Helga and Arnold are obviously—"

"RHONDA!"

Rhonda stopped at the sound of both Helga and Patty suddenly shouting her name and standing up, both looking an interesting mix of panicked and furious as they glared at her!

"So help me I am going to—" Helga was really about to punch her right in the pretty little nose, major scene or no major scene, getting kicked out or no getting kicked out! She really had wanted this one dinner here to be nice and smooth and enjoyable as long as she was stuck in it, but her nerves were fried after the last few weeks and her patience tonight was almost at its breaking point!

However, both her words and intended course of action were cut off by Patty Smith.

"No. We're going to have a talk. All three of us. In the bathroom. Now," the older girl firmly announced, and suddenly she pushed back her chair and was instantly about to walk around the table and drag both Rhonda and Helga by the shoulders directly to the ladies room to settle some things once and for all…

…._Was about to_, that was, _until_….

"Hey guys, just checking to see if you need anything!" Torvald. Of course. "Oh, and actually anything else you want for dinner or dessert or anything, just let me know. My boss is so busy with Rhonda's family that it looks like I'm going to be finishing up as your waiter for the rest of the night." ('_Sure. He's going to be our waiter now. Why not_…' Harold thought to himself with an eye roll.) "Oh and hey, let me get you guys a couple of Yahoo sodas to go with the rest of your meals, okay? Unless you want something different, Patty…" He glanced at the girl in question with a smile.

Patty just cringed a little and did her best to still smile (and to not blush this time.) "Yahoos are fine. Thanks, Torvald."

"You got it!" A smiling Torvald assured her, and then proceeded to clear away the empty breadbaskets and plates from the table.

Patty just let out a deep sigh…and saw Rhonda grin out of the corner of her eye. The gossip-loving girl turned to Torvald. "TORVALD. Just the man I wanted to talk to. Now perhaps you can clarify something for me about you and—"

"Bathroom. _Right now."_ Patty was up and around the other side of the table and now had Rhonda and Helga by the backs of their collars. She looked at Torvald and did her best to smile once again. "Thanks again for the sodas, Torvald." Then she turned to Harold and scowled. "Harold. Be nice." And with that she was instantly pulling the girls away.

Rhonda frowned as she began to be led from the table, but then her smile brightened and she angled her head over her shoulder. "Ooo well, maybe I'll see you over at my table when you clear our plates later, Torvald, and then we can catch up a little. I have a lot of things I'd like to ask you abo—"

"Stuff it, Rhonda." Patty gave her a small jerk, turning the gossipy girl back around as they walked.

"And Arnold..." Helga turned back to him with a scowl as she went along with Patty. "Just…think before you speak!" she advised firmly.

"Ooo, what's that about, Helga?" Rhonda was heard to say to her with interest.

"None of your beeswax, princess." The girls went out of earshot of the table.

Left alone, Arnold and Harold and Torvald just looked from the girls to one another.

Torvald smiled and shrugged, the empty baskets and bread plates now in hand. "Women, huh? Always going to the bathroom in groups. And always seem to be involved in a million things we're kind of clueless about." He sighed and shook his head…thinking about his girlfriend a little. "Anyway, I'll see you guys later. And I'll get you some dessert menus." He gave the guys a nod and was gone.

"Arnold…" after a few seconds, Harold turned to the football headed fourth grader, "Is it just me or are girls…just plain kind of nuts?"

Arnold half smiled at the question and did his best not to chuckle. "Um…" Seven years of torture. The FTi confession. Tricking him into a date. A million other things he probably didn't even know about yet. That kiss… "Yeah, Harold. Just plain kind of nuts is a good way to put it. But…I think that makes them a little more fun." Arnold reached for some pepper and seasoned his food a little and took another bite. Finished swallowing, he smiled at Harold. "By the way, I think it's nice that you and Patty have been getting along so well lately, Harold. You two seem…nice together."

Harold blinked and blushed a little. But then just nodded and gulped, playing with his food a bit. '_And now here it comes…'_

He waited for the teasing…

…But none came. (Just like none had come from Helga on the bus on Friday when Sid and Stinky had been teasing him about Patty…though his head didn't quite put together the coincidence yet.)

Harold smiled and looked to his friend. "Uh…thanks, Arnold."

Arnold's smile grew. "You're welcome, Harold."

"Hey, Arnold?"

"Uh huh?"

Harold considered what it was he wanted to say, and then spoke slowly. "I think it's nice that you and Helga are getting along a lot better too. You guys seem…a little happier like that. And she's an…okay girl, you know?" He wasn't sure if the observation made sense, but it was the truth.

Arnold, his grin picking up a little on one side, nodded. "We _are_ happier like that actually, Harold. And thanks. And yeah…she…really is an okay girl."

"Yeah…I think she might actually like you, Arnold." Harold grinned, meaning it totally innocently of course.

Arnold blushed just a tiny bit, and used his napkin to dab at his mouth again, hoping Harold wouldn't notice the touch of heat and red coming to his features. "I know," he replied, "And I think Patty likes you too, Harold. And she's pretty okay herself."

Harold grinned more…and blushed…but…didn't feel bad or ashamed about it. "Thanks, Arnold."

Harold started eating again for a few more seconds…when it hit him that he wasn't quite sure how to take Arnold's comment about Patty 'liking' him. After all, Harold meant that Helga liked Arnold in the sense that she was okay with him…But then Arnold had said that Patty liked Harold and it was pretty common knowledge that something at least slightly romantic was going on between himself and Patty. And at the very least everyone knew that they were friends. So had Arnold meant 'like' in that sense? Just as friends…like Arnold and Helga liked each other? But then Harold couldn't figure out why Arnold would say that when he and Patty were on a date right now… Wouldn't meaning that Patty liked him in the sense that she 'like liked' him have made more sense to say? But then that would have meant that Arnold had taken Harold's like about Helga to mean 'like like'…right? But, no, that didn't make any sense because Arnold and Helga weren't on a date like he and Patty were on a date… '_But…But then…_'

Harold sighed. '_This is confusing…It's almost enough to make a guy lose his appetite…_' He played with the rest of his chicken and then just pushed the plate away while Arnold just sat in his seat eating a little and smiling to himself in thought about certain things.

The two boys waited for the ladies to return.

* * *

The door to the women's room burst open. The door to the women's room shut.

Patty Smith looked at the two girls she had just pulled inside of the Chez Paris bathroom with her. "You…" she pointed at Helga, "Just hold on for one second. I need to talk to you about something." Helga blinked at the unexpected request but then just nodded. "And YOU…" Patty's sights turned to Rhonda, "Rhonda, I'm not going to hit you because we're friends, but leave me and Harold and Torvald alone, and especially leave Helga and Arnold alone. I mean it. You and I are friends and you're curious about what's up with me so it's a little understandable, but Helga and Arnold are only here because I invited them and Helga's a good friend of mine so she shouldn't have to get put through this tonight. Okay? As a personal favor to me…leave Arnold and Helga out of your gossip radar."

Rhonda blinked. She was quiet for a second like she was thinking it over. Then she let out a sigh and spoke. "Patty…listen…" she began in an understanding voice, "I'm not trying to disrupt your dinner…" she was met with a stern look from Patty, "MUCH…" Rhonda qualified, rolling her eyes to the side. "And I'm not necessarily going to parade all of the stuff that's happened tonight around school on a loudspeaker or anything on Monday. It's just…I told you before, news around this town has been dead lately and I'm just…curious." She shrugged sheepishly. "And maybe I can even help a little with whatever the mess is that's going on at your table." She smiled hopefully and gestured to herself. "After all I AM a natural born matchmaker. If you need me to distract Harold or Torvald so you can make a beeline out of here with one or the other, just let me know, darling." Rhonda winked at Patty…and then turned her sights to the blonde in the room. "And…Helga…" she couldn't help smiling just a little smugly…this really was just delicious, after all… "Helga, Helga, Helga…I knew underneath all of the brashness and uncouthness there was a fellow girl…and who knew that all it would take to bring her out was a little charm from the most unlikely boy in the world…Helga and Arnold: it has a nice ring to it actually." She could have almost giggled about the whole lovely thing.

"I DO NOT LIKE ARNOLD! DO NOT, DO NOT, DO NOT!" Helga G. Pataki was seething and instantly went to blindly grab at Rhonda, though Patty held her back just in time! "Let me go! She can't say that! And it's none of her business anyway! I do NOT like, Arnold!" Helga shook her head almost in a panic! '_Rhonda…Rhonda CAN'T know! It'll be the end of everything! My entire cover blown! Worst night of my life! NO!'_

Rhonda blinked a few times in a bit of fear at the protests of the blonde fellow fourth grader before her: Helga seemed _furious_… Indeed, Rhonda had never seen her this worked up before! A 'Methinks the lady doth protest too much' line came to her mind for a moment, but out of legitimate fear for her life Rhonda refrained from voicing it, of course.

"Okay, Okay, Rhonda, cool it with the comments, and Helga, cool it in general." Patty, still holding Helga firmly by the collar and shoulder, now stepped over and came completely between the two girls, really frustrated as this was about the third fight she had had to break up in the last forty-eight hours. She turned her sights to her dark-haired friend first and looked at her seriously though not quite as sternly as before as her anger had had a minute to cool. "Rhonda, listen…I understand that you want to be involved and to help if you can, but now is really not the best time. Now, prove to me that you can be a good friend and stay out of this and leave Helga alone, and then _maybe_ I'll fill you in on what's going on with ME _later_. _Maybe_. Okay?"

Rhonda sighed in just a little bit of frustration and disappointment, frowning a bit…but then finally nodded. "Alright, Alright, I'm sorry." She looked from Patty to Helga and then back. "You're right…I shouldn't be making things harder for you both. I'll…head back to my table now…" She saw Helga scowl and open her mouth as though about to speak, but cut her off before she could begin, "And I won't even interrogate Torvald or anything. Scouts honor!" She held up three fingers in a promising gesture. "I was just curious but I'm leaving now and going to my neutral corner! No need for any violence…" She held up her palms defensively with a sheepish smile, and then seeing Helga appear to calm down a little (though she was still scowling) and Patty's scowl ease, Rhonda let out a relieved breath and then gave a small wave to the two girls. "Have a good talk, ladies." And then she popped out of the restroom, not wanting to push her luck any further in here (with no witnesses, to boot).

The door shutting, Patty let out a breath and then finally let Helga go.

Helga let out a deeply frustrated sigh and just turned around and looked to the taller girl. "Okay, whatever…" she shook her head, just trying to put thoughts of Rhonda away for the moment and to get on with things, "Anyway, now that the princess is at bay, what did you need to talk ab—"

"Wait." Patty held her hand up in a pausing motion and walked to the side and suddenly gave a firm little punch against the shut bathroom door.

"OW!" came Rhonda's muffled voice from the other side of the door which had obviously slammed into the side of her head while she had been starting to try and eavesdrop a little (her curiosity getting the better of her).

Patty rolled her eyes. '_Always addicted to gossip…If I didn't know that she was a good person underneath it all, I swear sometimes I'd…' _She let out a sigh. '_I've really got to start hanging out with more kids my own age._' She just shook her head and then turned back to Helga. "Good. _Now_ we can talk." She looked at Helga seriously and got right down to business. Her patience was wearing thin tonight. "Alright, Helga, there's obviously a lot of things going on at our table tonight and I think the only way we're going to be able to get through it all and maybe even help each other a little is if we come clean with each other completely. No more secrets."

Helga's jaw practically dropped at the suggestion. She scoffed. "_No way_, sister! The secret life of Helga G. Pataki has already suffered enough ACCIDENTAL damage this evening—I'm not torpedoing it ON PURPOSE the rest of the way just to make dessert go more smoothly!"

"Helga, just LEVEL with me here, okay!" Patty usually didn't raise her voice but she was at the end of her rope with this disaster of a dinner. She watched Helga blink unsurely at her outburst. The older girl took a breath, trying to calm herself. "Helga…" she began much more normally, leaning back against a sink, "I just want to make sure we get through the rest of this meal as painlessly as possible. And honestly even though it's pretty obvious to me that there's something going on with you and Arnold, I'm not sure about the details and I think I need to be if I'm going to be able to help you at all if you need it. And also…" and now she gulped and squirmed a little, "And also, I…think it'd be good if I came clean with you about what's going on with _me_ because…I…think I might need your advice about something, Helga. And it's important." She blushed just a tiny bit.

Helga…was a little confused. Advice? Her? Sounded more like Arnold's department. And Patty was also three years older than her. Really, what could she need? _'Still though…_' Helga thought to herself, '_Patty __is__ my friend…and she's obviously going through a pretty rough night too…and she already basically knows everything about me and Arnold…and she's been helping keep Rhonda in check…and she really __is__ a good friend_…' Helga let out a sigh…came to a personal decision…and then smiled up at the older girl. "O-Okay…" she swallowed and gave a small nod, "we'll come clean with each other…But if it's okay, you first." Patty raised an eyebrow. "Sorry," Helga explained, "I can be a little…defensive about what I've got to say… I just…need for you to go first, okay?"

Patty considered, and then smiled in understanding and nodded. "Okay…Well…" she walked over to one of the sinks and leaned back against it and glanced down…took a breath…and then just let it all out, "Harold's been really jealous of Torvald lately because I've had to spend a lot of time with him for…something. And I was hoping this dinner tonight would make up for it but Torvald's our busboy and Harold's just been getting more and more jealous, and now I'm starting to worry that he might actually feelings for me—Torvald that is, not Harold…I mean, I think Harold has real feelings for me too but I'm more sure of that than I am of Torvald's feelings. But anyway the point is Torvald keeps giving our table special treatment and smiling at me and complimenting me and I can't tell if it's because he 'like likes' me or if it's just me being really hyper sensitive because I'm not used to getting attention from guys. And that's where you come in because it sounds like you've been on dates before and you seem to have a better handle on this 'boys' thing than I do and I wanted your opinion on it all, and I SWEAR if I have to kick Harold one more time under the table I'm pretty sure my heel's going to break! Plus, Rhonda popping over and taking notes on everything hasn't exactly been helpful!" She took in a deep breath and let out a deep breath as her speech now finished, feeling much better having gotten all of that off of her chest!

Finally Patty just looked to the ten-year-old girl before her once again…and saw with interest that Helga seemed to be in a bit of thought at the moment. "Helga?"

Helga held up a finger in a 'just a moment, please' gesture. A few more seconds of quiet passed (with Helga obviously contemplating things), and then the blonde walked over and leaned back against a sink next to Patty. She let out a breath and then slowly spoke, obviously carefully considering her words. "Hmm…honestly, Patty…I'm… not really familiar enough with how Torvald acted around you in the _past_ to compare it with how he's acting around you _now_ to say if there's been enough of a change to hint that he's got a crush on you. But…the one thing I do know is that…" she swallowed…and looked at Patty sincerely…and recalled certain things from Friday afternoon on a certain bus after school, "Patty…Harold likes you a lot. A whole lot. And even though him acting jealous is annoying, it's…a little understandable if he thinks someone's trying to steal you away, especially someone you've been spending some time with lately…" Helga raised part of her brow. "And this 'time' you've been spending with Torvald doing 'something'—it absolutely hasn't been romantic?" She wasn't suggesting anything, just checking, and it was obvious from her tone.

Patty understood and shook her head. "Completely professional," she replied. "He asked me to help him with something…but he also asked me to keep it a secret for a little while."

Helga nodded at the information. "Okay. Well then…as for Torvald, all I can say is that I would just wait and if he comes to you directly and says he's got feelings for you, then you can let him down gently…Unless you want to be with him and not Harold?" Once again, obviously just checking.

Patty shook her head once more. "I really like Harold just like he likes me, Helga…you know… 'like like'." She blushed a little. "Torvald's my friend but…nothing else."

Helga nodded again. "Okay." She smiled and spoke warmly as she went on. "Then…just let Torvald down gently if he comes to you. But otherwise I'd worry more about Harold now." A touch of concern came to her eyes. "Like I said, if he's getting this jealous he obviously really cares about you…and also he's an okay guy in general. Maybe instead of waiting for extra attention from him…try _giving_ him a little extra attention first and see what that does." She shrugged and almost chuckled a little. "Boys are a little dense sometimes, Patty…They can need a little nudge in the right direction before they figure out what's what." Her eyes couldn't help traveling over in the direction of the bathroom door…in the direction of Arnold.

Patty just looked at the younger girl curiously as the two still continued to lean side by side against their respective sinks…and then she genuinely smiled. "You know…you're pretty smart, Helga."

Helga blinked at the sudden compliment and then just shrugged once again and smiled a little more. "Hey, uh…I try. Heh…"

Patty smirked just the tiniest bit. "So…if you don't mind my asking…_your_ story now? The whole deal with you and Arnold…"

Helga blushed and sighed and glanced away…but couldn't help smiling just a little nonetheless. "Well…it…it's, uh…well, you've got a doozy on your hands with Harold and Torvald, I'll give you that, Patty, but…mine's going to come off as thoroughly psychotic. Guaranteed." '_Psychotic, loopy, loony, crazy, insane, nuts, bonkers…_' So many adjectives, so little time…

Patty just raised an eyebrow, a curious smile on her face. "Try me, Helga. I really am kind of curious about what the deal is with you and Arnold…and why you two looked like you had heart attacks when you saw each other tonight."

Helga blushed quite a bit at the reminder of her and Arnold's first encounter this evening, but then swallowed…and finally began her explanations. "O-Okay, well…" she cleared her throat… "So, strictly off the record—and I MEAN STRICTLY OFF THE RECORD—I might actually like Arnold…a little."

Helga's eyes traveled up to be met with Patty giving her a look. Helga sighed and rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. "Okay, fine, I've been…in love with him for years." She glared a little at her companion. "You tell _anybody_ _ever_ and I don't care how much stronger than me you are, I will find a way to KILL you." She glanced away in frustration, always hating whenever she got put in a position of having to spill the beans about Arnold. She reached up a hand and rubbed the back of her neck as she went on. "Anyway, I kind of let how I feel slip to him a few weeks ago and lately he's been following me around trying to 'talk about it' which explains those fights you keep having to break up between us because who in their right mind tries to talk about something like that in the middle of a crowded cafeteria? I mean, WHAT the HECK am I supposed to do with that?" She let out an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes at her beloved's eternal cluelessness, but then just shook her head and went on, placing her palms against the edge of the sink once more. "Anyway, I didn't know he'd be here tonight and I didn't have anything else to wear so I put on this outfit…but…" She paused, blushing a little more. Having to tell someone else about her feelings for Arnold was bad enough but…having to go into the details of a crazy scheme? '_Crimeny, I hate this stupid night…_'

"_But_?" Patty prompted curiously, interrupting Helga's internal lamentations.

"Uh…but…" Helga went on with a small shrug, only just barely looking to the older girl, "I…might have worn what I'm wearing right now one other time when I was here with him…and he might have realized that fact the second he walked through the door of this place and saw me."

A confused look remained on Patty's face and she just shrugged. "So, what's the big deal—you wore that skirt and top when you were here with Gerald and Phoebe last time."

Helga took a breath and blushed quite a bit more. "No…I…I actually wore it last Valentine's Day when I…Now you CANNOT tell anyone about this EVER, _ESPECIALLY RHONDA_!" She looked to the older girl desperately.

"Okay…okay," Patty assured, holding up her hands defensively. "I won't tell another soul. I promise."

Helga sighed and bit her lower lip…and then finally let it out. "I…wore this outfit when I set up a Valentine's Day date here between Arnold and his French penpal Cecile a few months back…"

Patty just had this 'So…?' look on her face…And, in point of fact, she was indeed a little confused._ 'Why would Helga set up a date for Arnold with another gir—'_

"…And…And then I came here disguised in this outfit with my hair down like it is now and pretended to be Cecile so that I could go on a date with him and he wouldn't know that it was me or that I liked him!" Helga just cringed, having finally spat out this confession! '_Oh even all these months later it STILL sounds psychotic! Fantastic! I'm __such__ a basketcase!'_

There were a few seconds of silence during which Helga just awaited the laughter or the disgust or whatever reaction she'd get from Patty.

However, Patty merely chose to react with a simple observation.

"Uh…okay…your problem is a little… 'more unusual' than mine. You win, Helga."

This statement from the sixth grade girl…and the obvious little grin Helga could now see forming on her face…broke Helga from her thoughts.

The blonde then rolled her eyes and let out a sigh of frustration, turning to face the mirror as she still leaned on the sink. "Oh, don't I ALWAYS win! Helga G. Pataki: Queen of Romantic Fiascos!" She glanced over her shoulder at Patty. "And, yeah, Rhonda being around tonight is _not_ helping. If she starts spreading around that there's something going on between me and Arnold, I am _dead_." She looked at her reflection in the mirror, still scowling…trying not to tremble in nervousness. "Yup, just slap a toe tag on me right now." She leaned her head down and let out a groan.

"Helga?" Suddenly Patty's hand was on Helga's shoulder, doing her best to comfort her. _'Wow…I didn't realize this was that big of a thing for her. And she's…in love?'_

Patty watched as her touch made Helga blink and then glance at her almost in a touch of fear. "If you don't mind my asking, Helga…" Patty went on in her usual, calm voice, "what's so bad about…other people knowing? I mean, the whole school knows about me and Harold and no one really says anything."

Helga just looked to her with frustration. "Patty, that's because you and Harold could _flatten_ anyone who even looks at you the wrong way, no question! Me, I'm a ton of talk and I could maybe throw out a punch or two but not the way you two could. If the entire fourth grade started ganging up on me though, it wouldn't take two seconds for my reputation to go down like a lead balloon, and for me to get blown as the scared little girl I really am! And what about poor Arnold?" Tears almost came to her eyes and she threw up her hands in the air! "He doesn't deserve to get mocked and ridiculed just because I'm hopelessly in love with him! He doesn't deserve to get put through things like tonight! He doesn't deserve to—"

Instantly the sink faucet was turned on and a sudden splash of cool water hit Helga right in the face courtesy of Patty, cutting her off in her exclamations and ravings! Helga sputtered a little and blinked and just looked at Patty in confusion.

"Sorry," Patty shrugged, "You were getting a little hysterical, Helga."

Helga just blinked a few more times and then snatched a paper towel from a dispenser near the wall and wiped some of the water from her face. "Uh…thanks. And sorry…I tend to get like that about Arnold. Very, um…defensive. Just ask Phoebe, heh…" She tossed the towel into the garbage and grinned a little sheepishly…but then cleared her throat and glanced away. "A-Anyway, the bottom line is just…Me and Arnold…I love him…and he knows…and he doesn't love me back…simple as that." She gave a little shrug…and actually tried not to cry (which she'd been having to try and not do now and again over the course of the last few weeks ever since she'd spilled the beans, though she'd been doing her best to avoid those more… 'melancholy' moments). Her love didn't love her back: she hated thinking about it. Hated how it had been basically confirmed by his reaction to her confession of just pretending like it had never happened.

"He told you that?"

Helga glanced up at Patty and blushed, coming out of her thoughts once more. She shook her head. And then added in explanation, "No, he didn't, but I just…know. There's no reason for him to…love me. And it's just…hard to be around him at this point because of that. And that's where all of the tension between us has been coming from…okay?" No more scowling…she just looked at Patty sincerely.

Patty observed the young girl curiously for a moment. "Helga…you know…" she spoke quietly and carefully, "…that day when I didn't beat you up a couple months ago…when I asked you if you and Arnold have some kind of thing for each other…I really _did_ mean do you AND Arnold have some kind of thing for EACH OTHER…"

Helga blushed even more and shook her head a little again. "Patty, it's a lost cause. Give it up. Trust me. When you pour your heart out to a guy and his response is to pretend it never happened for a few weeks…you just know."

Patty just let out a sigh and shook her head with a smile. "Helga…" Helga may have understood boys pretty well…but she was still only ten-years-old. It was understandable that maybe, when it came to her own affairs, she really couldn't see… "It seems like you understand boys pretty well. I mean, you gave me good advice about Harold and Torvald, and you're always hanging around guys and stuff…"

Helga sighed and rolled her eyes up. "Yeah, I'm a closet hopeless romantic and a Tom Boy. What's your point?"

Patty shrugged, smiling a little more as she went on. "Well…_you're_ the one who just said boys could be a little slow about stuff…So maybe Arnold's just being a little slow about things… He said at the table before that he likes you…remember? And also…between you and me, I think he thinks you're a knockout tonight, Helga." She winked. And from how Arnold had been gazing at Helga quite a few times this evening, that last thing had to be the undeniable truth!

Helga swallowed at the comment, but then just let out a deep sigh and gave Patty a look, speaking a little sarcastically. '_She just doesn't get it…'_ "Fine. If I admit there's 'hope' or something can we just get back to finishing up this evening from heck now that we're both fully aware of our chaotic love lives?"

Patty chuckled just a little and gave a small nod. "Fair enough."

Helga shrugged. "Okay. There's 'hope'…" She made air quotes around the word. "Now let's just get back to the table and at least get some dessert out of this disaster of a dinner!" The ten-year-old girl headed over to the bathroom door and opened it, and both girls exited and began to head back to their dates.

As they walked, an interesting thought occurred to Helga and she smiled and raised part of her brow curiously, and commented on it without really thinking. "Hey, Patty…you know, I've gotta say, you've got a lot of self control."

Patty blinked at the strange comment and turned to Helga in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Helga shrugged, looking to her as well. "Well, all this time you've been getting ticked off at Harold for being jealous about you just spending a little time with Torvald…and it doesn't sound like you even once brought up the fact to him that he's the one who used to be practically dating Rhonda. It takes a lot of self-control not to just start pulling out _that_ ace in the hole. Especially after a night as stressful as this one."

"Oh, he and Rho—" Patty then froze and her eyes went wide. There was no more walking. "What did you just say?" she asked quietly, now standing completely still in the middle of the restaurant.

Helga stopped as well and looked back at Patty curiously…and then her eyes went wide and then she slapped a hand to her forehead and dragged it down with a cringe. "He…didn't tell you yet, did he? And I have a very VERY big mouth!" She opened her eyes, not having wanted to start something. Patty was her friend and Harold was an okay guy and her friend, and she could have just kicked herself for unintentionally meddling like this! After all, her meddling in her _own_ love life always seemed to end in disaster—who knew what chaos could ensue from her actually meddling in _someone else's!_ '_Big FREAKING mouth, Helga…Big freaking mouth…._' "Listen, Patty," she quickly began, trying to smooth things over, "It was just a stupid crush she had on him a bunch of months ago that he went along with for a bit! Just some stupid flirting brought about by a forced Tunnel of Love ride at a Cheese Festival. Nothing! The goal right now is to be nice to Harold and give him attention and to appreciate how much he likes you. Remember?" She looked at her hopefully. "Then AFTER that you can chew him out for holding out on you, oka—"

But Patty was suddenly gone, off across the room. Helga watched as the sixth grade girl reached their table, grabbed Harold by the shoulder, forced him up out of his seat and proceeded to walk him (and he was looking very confused, by the way) right across the restaurant and right back in the direction of the alcove leading to the bathrooms.

Helga just gulped at the sight, having instantly moved away to make room for them passing by. _'Happy happy happy….__**so**__ very happy that I'm not him.'_ Helga felt a serious twinge of guilt of course for having put Harold in this position…but still it had been an accident, and also, if he really was starting to take the jealousy thing too far, maybe a little reminder of one of his own sprees with another girl (and another girl who happened to be here tonight as well) would help curb his attitude about the Torvald situation. Helga knew that she and Patty had similar personalities and thus probably similar opinions about jealousy in boy's: cute to a point but if it got too controlling, it was time to cut it off right at the knees. And pronto. _'Still…I'm going to owe Harold about a million Mr. Fudgie bars after this one…' _She let out a sigh_. 'Here's hoping he doesn't have to wait six months while his jaw is wired shut by the paramedics to enjoy them_…' Despite the graphic nature of this thought, Helga was smiling though as she had it. After all, Patty and her were also alike in another way: they both had boys they cared about, and no matter how short their tempers might be or how prone to using their fists to solve problems they were…they'd never actually hurt them for anything in the world…_ 'No matter how dense and clueless and silly our guys can be…'_

* * *

With these thoughts in her head, Helga just let out a breath and walked back in the direction of her table, leaving Harold and Patty to do whatever they had to do.

Reaching her destination now, she sat down with a plop in her seat and let out a sigh, resting her head on her hand…so very worn out from this epic evening.

Arnold, meanwhile, having witnessed firsthand a very confused Harold being torn from the table by a very unhappy looking Patty, looked to Helga curiously now that she had finally returned. "Um, Helga? What's going on with Harold and Patty?"

Helga blinked and looked up, recalling Arnold's presence…and couldn't help smiling a little and leaning back, rubbing one of her temples. "Oh…he's just in a little bit of trouble because women hate double standards, Football Head." She took a swig of one of the Yahoo sodas now on the table (and mentally thanked Torvald for bringing by a few 'cold ones' that she could use to settle her nerves).

Arnold just seemed all the more confused by this explanation though…and Helga had to smile and chuckle a little because it was really cute…that dense little look he could get sometimes and that she had missed seeing him get just a little ever since her confession. "Don't worry about it, Arnold," she assured him, "She likes him…'like likes' him…she won't hurt him or anything. And look on the 'bright side': _he's_ the one in trouble, not _you_." Helga winked at him. "Just be thankful and accept it." She watched Arnold blink…and then glance down at the rest of his steak tartare with a thoughtful look on his face.

She grinned a little more to herself. '_Silly little dense thing…Never did understand girls very well. Sometimes I wonder if he'd even know what to do with one if he liked her and she actually liked him back. Probably freeze up and blush and spend every date just nodding and spazzing and working up the nerve to even touch her hand…Quiet as a little mouse… My cute, modest, shy beloved…_' She gave a small internal girlish swoon.

"So…I guess we have a few minutes alone then, don't we, Helga?" Arnold's voice surprisingly broke through Helga's thoughts suddenly…quietly… "Say…Helga?" his voice went on and he glanced up.

The fork Helga had picked up to take a final bite of food from her now nearly empty plate paused in mid air…and was instantly placed lightly back down upon said plate in its former position. Arnold didn't like her back…which meant no cute, modest shyness…which meant that he had just suddenly realized that a golden opportunity had fallen into his lap during this chaotic evening. A few minutes…alone…with her…to say whatever might be on his mind without consequence. Helga gulped. She did NOT like this. '_No, no, no, no, no…'_

Helga let out a breath and pushed the dish before her away (having lost her appetite by this point) and instantly cut off Arnold. This was going to be dealt with swiftly and neatly. No question. "Arnold…" she closed her eyes…she was so tired at this point, she just… "Seriously…We're still out in public. Harold and Patty'll be back any minute. This isn't the time or the place. Really!" She brought her blue eyes to look right into his green ones. "Not to mention Rhonda could be watching and Torvald's our busboy and—Grr…" She let out a sigh and rubbed one of her temples again…unfortunately now recalling her thoughts from at the beginning of this meal about Arnold maybe having deserved to have a few questions…and maybe feeling just a touch of guilt about it all especially in light his OWN surprising and difficult experiences from tonight… And, well, they did have a moment alone now…and maybe, when you thought about it, something small right now would satisfy him for a little while so he wouldn't be making her life at school as stressful as he had been doing...

And so, reluctantly, Helga G. Pataki decided to compromise. "Okay, look, fine, Arnold. Here's the deal…" she laid it right out on the line, "I give you _one_ freebie question right now that I'll answer. Just _one_. Then you shut up about anything I ever might have said regarding you and me and me not exactly hating you until I'm good and ready to have this stupid talk or whatever you've been bucking for lately." She slumped in her chair a little and scowled at him. "Do we have a deal?"

Arnold just looked at her in a little bit of surprise. In point of fact, had not been expecting this...offer. Not at all… Still though it brought a little smile to his lips…and he couldn't help but think it over for a second. "Well…" he began quietly…the tiniest bit of a blush coming to his cheeks, "I guess if I only had one question for now…for YOU…It would be why, when I asked you who you were the first time we were here together, you didn't you just say 'I'm Helga, Arnold. And I love you. Will you be my valentine?' But actually right now I was just going to ask you to pass me one of those Yahoo sodas." He looked into her surprised eyes with his small, little smile. "I know better than to ask you anything 'important' directly in public, Helga…Well, I mean…" he shrugged a little sheepishly, "I didn't know better at first but then I was talking to Gerald—don't worry, I didn't tell him anything…he just knows I've been wanting to talk to you. Anyway, he said that if I kept trying to do it in public it was only going to upset you…and that people might even, um…start thinking I sort of 'liked' you liked you…You know, me with a little crush on Helga G. Pataki…" He was playing with the food on his plate very deliberately now as he spoke. "So…I know better, Helga. But, whenever you're ready…if you'd like to answer that one question I had…I'd love to hear what you have to say. I love hearing you say anything really, actually. We should spend more, um…more time like this together, Helga. Sure it's a little stressful but…it's also very nice. I'm happy I got invited here with you."

Helga just sat there. Stunned. Genuinely and sincerely stunned. '_He wants to know why didn't I…And we should spend more…And he's happy he got invited…__Huh__?'_

Arnold just picked up with his fork and then chewed and swallowed a final bite of steak, reaching across the table himself and taking a soda bottle and popping off the top…and added something. "Thanks for putting your hair down again, by the way, Helga. It's pretty, you know. And I'm sorry if I've been bothering you at all lately or tonight."

'_Pr-Pr-Pretty?'_ She gulped. '_Pretty? A-After all of…After all of everything, one of the things on his mind tonight is that my hair is…p-p-p—"_ "Arnold…sometimes I just plain don't get you at all." Helga couldn't help it. He really was the most confusing individual on the planet to her sometimes. And she just had to make this observation as she continued to marvel at him a little.

Arnold blinked at the unexpected comment but then smiled again and leaned a little bit forward…and gazed at her a little, blushing lightly. "I feel the same way about you, Helga…" He chuckled. "But…I like getting the chance to…figure you out a little…if that makes any sense."

Helga blushed a little herself…but then uncontrollably smiled a little as well. She couldn't help it—she felt so…flattered! How lovely! He actually… liked getting to know her…even knowing that she was _her_ and not his silly French penpal. "I…like figuring you out too, Arnold…" she managed…and just barely glanced up and gazed at him a little as well.

Five seconds later Helga was suddenly blinking and clearing her throat and looking away and trying to scowl as she realized the urge she had just given in to to just look at Arnold so lovingly…and he'd even been looking back! (_'He was probably just being amused by me but STILL! Staring into each other's eyes in public! With the school gossip twenty feet behind us! Crimeny, am I INSANE?_') "Okay, okay, enough mushy stuff. Crimeny, Arnold, quit trying to make me go soft or something!" She huffed a little and crossed her arms over her chest, slumping a bit in her seat and scowling once more.

"Whatever you say, Helga." Arnold let out a sigh and just played with his napkin a little… (and tried not to grin too much at the idea of that…smile that had come over Helga's face for a few seconds just now when she had seemed so very happy that he liked getting to know her. He just wished that piece of hair hadn't been blocking part of her face (just like last Valentine's Day) so that he could have gotten a full view of it.) "I'll leave making you go soft all to you…" Eh, they were alone and had a truce and besides…he liked complimenting Helga and making blush a little. It was…a fun little power to have. Besides, he…wouldn't have minded seeing that happy smile of hers again… ('…_o-or the blush'_)… He let out a small sigh, almost disbelieving this new little skill and goal of his.

"Well thank you, I—" Helga had started, but then (right on schedule) she suddenly blushed and looked at Arnold with wide eyes…which she then just rolled to the side, trying to huff and sound all sarcastic again, though her blush remained…along with a small bit of a flattered smile (In short, Arnold's efforts had perfectly succeeded). "Oh just…shut up and start thinking about a dessert that's quick to make and eat so we can get out of here and this nightmare of a night can be over, paste for brains."

Arnold finally had to just chuckle at her. All the sarcasm was really more cute than anything else when you knew what was being hidden underneath it. "Okay. But it's not a 'nightmare' to me, Helga." He gave a little shrug. "I enjoy our dates, personally."

Helga's heart stopped for a single second…and then her breath instantly hitched in her throat…and Arnold did not fail to notice. '_Our…d-dates?_' "Our dates…" she squeaked. She'd never…really thought about it all like that. That they had technically been on…dates…together…Her heart beat and beat and beat…

Arnold just gave a small nod, trying to ignore the occasional the little beats of his own heart going on at the moment. "Yeah…Don't _you_ enjoy them, Helga?"

Helga shakily nodded, unable to think of anything else to do… A few more seconds passed to allow her shock and surprise to ebb, and then just let out a sigh and closed her eyes and rested her head in one of her hands and spoke in a low, cynical, slightly defeated voice. "I swear, after I was stupid enough to confess to you on top of that stupid building I should have just punched your stupid lights out and carried your stupid knocked-out butt down to the stupid sidewalk, left you for Gerald and that stupid bus driver to find, and then slipped off into the shadows and faked like me being Deep Voice was all just a stupid dream you had or something. _So_ much stress could have been avoided…" She lay back in her chair, eyes closed, head angled up toward the ceiling with a tired look on her face.

"Wouldn't have worked," Arnold shook his head, still smiling a little to himself, "A guy never forgets his first real kiss, Helga."

Helga G. Pataki blushed so very much and her eyes popped open and she just plain stopped breathing at that one! She was trembling, actually…His…first kiss… Just like she had never really thought of their 'outings' and 'adventures' together as dates, she had never really thought about what she'd done to him on the FTi rooftop in the terms he seemed to be applying to it either. It had just processed in her head: I kissed Arnold. It hadn't occurred to her to phrase it in the way that she had given Arnold his first real kiss. '_And…And that's how __he__ thinks about it?_' It was too much! She had to…had to write a poem or swoon and faint or something or…kiss him again, or… "O-Okay, Arnold, that's it… no more. Now is n-not the place or the time. Like I said." Helga's face moved back to Arnold's and got serious. She didn't want to talk about this. Any of this. It was too much. Not here and now. _'No matter how much he's enjoying having fun with all of this and even flirting a little…it's all just going to lead to the inevitable gentle let down from him. Remember that.' _She saw a movement out of the corner of her eye and breathed a small sigh of relief for another excuse to end their conversation coming along right in the nick time. "Besides, Harold and Patty are coming back."

Arnold glanced over and behind Helga to indeed see a scowling Patty and a scowling and slightly blushing Harold approaching the table again. Arnold turned his sights back to Helga and gave a small nod. "Okay…we'll talk more later," he finished quietly. He watched Helga just kind of nod though she still looked a little serious and she wasn't looking at him. "And, um…" he lowered his voice and leaned a little closer, wanting to clarify something before their talk right now had to finish up for the time being. "I'm not trying to tease you or anything you know, Helga. I'll remember that kiss…for the rest of my life." Then, in the boldest move he had ever made in his life (and he so very much knew it was so very bold) he reached up and over…and shifted the piece of hair over one of Helga's eyes so that it was now resting around and behind her ear. "And, um…you can move the piece of hair back if you want to, of course, Helga, but…you don't have to hide anymore since there're no more secrets…and also it's nice to see all of your face…and both of your eyes…They're blue, you know…."

Arnold had to glance down now and play with the remains of the meal on his dish in nervousness. ' '_They're blue, you know…'! Of course she knows her eyes are blue! What am I even doing…I…I don't…_' He let out such a deep mental sigh. '_Blue…Blonde, blue…pink…_' 'Blonde, blue and pink' mere feet away from him, his date for the night… 'Blonde blue and pink'…in love, of all things…in love with him… 'Blonde blue and pink' with her arms around his body and her lips upon his own…caught up in an unforgettable moment of heat… First kiss… And he'd been wondering ever since her confession… If the two of them ever really found themselves alone again…really alone…would she still be stubborn and pretend like nothing had happened…or would she give in and try to make something happen once more? And what would he do with her like that again…?

(Arnold instantly began to play with his food _even more_ deliberately. Every time he'd had that thought…a few, well…ideas for what he could do with her like that had popped into his head…and it was happening again. '_Oh boy…'_ )

Across the table, at what he'd just said and how he'd just touched her hair so gently, Helga's heart overflowed and she blushed and everything inside of her fluttered and begged to swoon, and her 'blue eyes' instantly snapped right to her beloved and she wanted, no, _needed_, to say something! Anything! Public or no public! Right time and place or no right time and place! He was making her heart _quiver_! Talking to her like he was her boyfriend or something! Talking to her in a way that made her want to be alone with him again—in a way that made her need to be alone with him again! She wanted to just dive at him and kiss him and kiss him and burst into tears and ask how, how, HOW could it be possible that there was even a chance that he didn't just plain hate her for loving him? After all, what else was there for him to be if not disgusted by her secret feelings? And if this _was_ all a joke, WHY was he doing it to her? Yes, she'd put him through seven years of torture but hadn't she suffered enough in her own right going through seven years of unrequited love? Unrequited love all for the perfect boy before her…

…But unfortunately (or maybe fortunately, since they were still indeed in a public setting) she was cut off from saying or doing any of the things with which she was brimming by Harold and Patty reaching the table and now sitting firmly down in their respective seats.

Yes, it looked like it was time for dessert. They could talk more later. Even though Helga now felt more confused than ever…

…While Arnold meanwhile was just…trying very very hard not to look at Helga's lips…though he couldn't help at least recalling in vivid detail again the feeling of them on his own not too many weeks ago. The moaning… His heart overflowed with a little something as well. 'I really like you, Arnold, and I need to know. Do you like me too?' He let out a sigh. '_Very much, Helga. I like you very very…very much…'_ He wished this meal was over…He wanted to _tell_ her that he liked her so very much…what he had been wanting to tell her among other things these past few weeks…and especially after all of this…but he knew she was right: here and now was not just yet the right time.

And also he wasn't even sure at the moment…what he meant by 'I like you very very…very much…' But he was going to take dessert to try and figure it out.

(Arnold had long since forgotten about the movie ticket in his pocket, by the way.)

* * *

"Gerald, I reckon it's startin' to get late. Are you sure Arnold's gonna meet us out here in front of the theatre to go in and watch the other two movies?"

Gerald turned to Stinky and nodded "Yeah, he'll be here, trust me. He's got his ticket and everything. Besides we've got a few minutes before the next movie starts. Just hold your horses, okay, fellas?"

Sid, standing next to Stinky on the sidewalk, rolled his eyes. "Okay but if we don't have time to get snacks, then _you're_ the one missing the first part of the movie to wait on the concessions line."

Needless to say, Gerald had run into Sid and Stinky at the Evil Twin triple feature and the three boys had figured as long as they were all there, they might as well gorge themselves on horror movies and salty and sweet snacks in a group (that was supposed to have one more member as soon as Arnold showed up.) And now it had just struck eight p.m. and they were waiting on the sidewalk outside of the entrance to the theatre for Arnold to complete their foursome.

Gerald just rolled his eyes. "Okay, fine, I promise, Sid—_I'll_ wait and get the snacks." He glanced at his wristwatch. 8:05 already. He glanced up the block. No one appeared to be coming. He let out a sigh. "Actually guys, why don't you head inside and I'll just make a quick run to Chez Paris and see if he's still planning on coming and then I'll meet you guys back in the theatre, okay?"

"Whoa, he's at Chez Paris?" Sid's eyes lit you. "You didn't say he was eating _there_." He grinned. "Hey, if we could get an order of appetizers to go and sneak them into the movies in our pockets, that'd be much better than just some more overpriced stale popcorn."

Stinky nodded eagerly. "Yeah! And I reckon maybe Arnold could give us some of his leftovers to take back here too!"

Gerald glanced at his watch again. "Okay, okay, we'll try and get some food to go but come on guys, let's just do this quick! We don't want to miss too much of the second movie!" He began to head up the street.

Sid and Stinky smiled and nodded and began to follow after Gerald.

"Hey…" Sid suddenly went on to Gerald, just kind of curious, "Why's Arnold at Chez Paris, anyway, Gerald?"

Gerald shrugged, glancing over his shoulder at his friend. "Eh, some kind of group dinner thing he got invited to with Big Patty and a few other people, and he'd already said yes so he didn't want to be rude and cancel." He faced forward again as the boys continued moving quickly up the street.

Or rather, as _Gerald alone_ continued moving quickly up the street…since Sid and Stinky had stopped dead in their tracks for just a moment…and were now looking at each other…and smiling…the name 'Big Patty' having rung a few bells in their heads, to say the least.

"You don't think…" Sid started, his grin growing…

"…That Harold couldn't come to the movies tonight because…" Stinky went on, his grin growing as well...

"Guys, come on! We're gonna to miss the opening scene with the mass Evil Twin slaughter on the beach!" Gerald called out impatiently, way ahead of them by now.

Sid and Stinky just chuckled to each other knowingly and headed up the street after their friend…suddenly _a lot_ more interested at checking out the current situation at Chez Paris than the first twenty minutes of a horror movie they'd already seen a zillion times.

* * *

**A/N:**

Okay guys, I hope you liked that and please review ;) Like I said, the next thing I'll be updating is April 2nd, LTBH should get an update before January's out, and I'll try and have this story wrapped up within the next couple of months ^_^

Happy Reading!

AXH FOREVER!

~Azure129 aka Jenna


	6. What Whets Your Appetite

**A/N:**

Hello there, everyone!

Yeah, I know, I rarely update this story. Sorry about that : 3 You know, you'd think after the insanity of the TA/LTBH thing nothing would wipe me out but something about writing this story drains me a little XD I think it's because things aren't happening one after the other so much as all at the same time in the same place and during a very short window of time. But I do still plan to finish this story, absolutely :) And for anyone who's kept up with this story over the years I appreciate your patience and your readership very much. Thank you!

Also, school always takes up a lot of time and so does work. But I'm graduating in the spring :) Again thank you for bearing with me!

Anyway here's the latest chapter of this story :) It should be maybe another couple of chapters long and that's it.

**Dinner AND a Show!**

**Chapter 6:**

**What Whets Your Appetite**

* * *

Though Arnold and Helga's conversation during Harold and Patty's absence had been very enlightening, Harold and Patty's conversation during their absence had been equally interesting…

Arnold and Helga had of course both been privately and even sort of openly grateful for the brief private time they had had together due to Patty taking so long with Harold over by the bathrooms.

Though of course _Harold_ hadn't been so very grateful for such a long amount of time alone with Patty…No, not under these circumstances.

Harold Berman, to put it politely and also a lot more accurately than most, was a solid kid. He had some height, he had some width, he had some weight and he knew how to stand his ground. He might not have been as much of a 'brick wall' as, let's say…Torvald…(not that anyone need make that specific comparison to him right now lest they wanted a knuckle sandwich)…but, in a nutshell, Harold Berman was not a kid who got pushed around…He did the pushing.

Which was why, during the moments as he found himself being literally dragged by Patty across the restaurant over to the bathrooms at a very decent clip (bus boys and waiters diving out of their way left and right), he was quite stunned to say the least…and maybe also a tiny bit impressed. Not quite as secretly (and later publicly) impressed as he had been when she had beat him at arm wrestling that one time, but still just a little impressed. Even in the nice dress and the high heeled shoes and smelling pretty she was just power-housing through the restaurant and dragging him along like he was some nine-year-old wimp instead of a thirteen-year-old part-time bully like herself!

He was most impressed though (and most scared out of his mind) when the two of them were in the bathroom alcove and she suddenly turned, let his arm go and then grabbed his collar and actually managed to pin him up against the wall.

And she…looked…mad.

Harold half choked on his words, his eyes wide, clueless as could be about what was going on! "P-Patty, what—"

"Oh DON'T you 'Patty, what?' me, you…you…you…_boy_!" she instantly all but shouted back in a seething, loud whisper!

If Harold had looked confused before he looked positively flabbergasted now! Where the heck was this suddenly coming from? Had she taken a few 'being random as all heck tonight' lessons from Helga while they had been in the bathroom before? Oh, but what did it matter, Harold could already feel himself panicking! "B-But…I…you…_what?_" Even though she had just told him not to… 'what' her, was it?…he couldn't help coming up with 'what' again.

"Grr!" Patty practically growled at him, though it only succeeded in making Harold look even more desperately clueless.

So Patty decided to give him a clue.

She let out an enraged sigh, shook all over…and then calmly let him go and took a step back. "Hmm, well, if the threat of a pounding won't get it out of you then maybe I should try a different approach. One you apparently really like even though you never told me about it until now!" Then Patty cleared her throat, gave him a fake, cheery smile, summoned up a fake, cheery voice to go along with it, cocked her hip to one side and put a fingertip on her chin upon which she began a (truly fantastic) Rhonda Wellington Lloyd impression. "Oh. My. _Gosh_. Seriously, Harold, have you heard the latest gossip going on around the restaurant? Oh you will just DIE when you hear, it's practically scandalous!" She fluttered her eyes a few times, still totally in valley girl mode.

Harold just looked at her blankly for a second…and then grinned. "Hey, you sound like Rhonda! Wow, that's pretty good, Patty! Keep going! And hey, can you do Helga next? And I don't mean Helga like she is tonight with all the laughing and getting all nervous and stuff…" Harold quirked his mouth to the side and had to scratch his head. Come to think of it now, though, Helga really was acting…very different. But why? Harold really tried to think about it for a moment…but then his stomach grumbled (dessert still hadn't been eaten yet of course) and plus he was in the middle of a sentence and didn't want to lose his idea so he just shook his head and went on. "I mean, can you do an impression of Helga when she's all angry? Like the way she gets around Arnold?" He laughed to himself…but then felt all curious again. Wasn't Helga around Arnold here and now tonight…and yet…she was barely acting angry at all. He angled his head and glanced back to their table, and lo and behold Arnold and Helga were just talking…looking shy…smiling…blushing…

"Oh, why do you want me to 'keep going' with the _Rhonda_ impression, huh?" Patty suddenly shouted, interrupting his thoughts and causing his attention to turn back to her instantly. "I wonder why that is, Harold? Oh dear, could it be because…" the valley girl accent kicked in again, "…you and Rhonda were like totally an item AND YOU DIDN'T FEEL THE NEED TO MENTION THIS FACT TO ME! EVER! EVEN THOUGH THERE'S BEEN PLENTY OF TIME TO MENTION TO ME ALL ABOUT HOW MUCH IT BUGS YOU THAT SOMETIMES TORVALD AND I SHARE A SENTENCE OR TWO!"

(Yeah, by the time of the stuff in capital letters the whole Rhonda impression had given way to genuine Patty Smith seething with a jealous rage she had never known she could possess…but boy was it here and was it strong!)

Oh dear…Well, if there was one thing that could take a young man's mind off of two of his friends who were usually fighting like crazy but were now suddenly having a shy, blushing, smiling tête-à-tête together in front of his eyes, it was learning first hand (just like Helga was in the process of just finishing telling Arnold across the restaurant) that women do not like double standards.

"Give me a reason not to grab a cooking torch from the kitchen and flambé you," Patty suddenly added for good measure. (And also by now we were back to that whole 'Patty holding Harold against a wall of a five star restaurant by his collar' thing. The only difference now was that Patty's voice…wasn't just angry sounding. It was low…graveled…hurt…and tears burned somewhere in her flashing eyes.)

A petrified Harold blinked, something coming through his embarrassment and fear at the sight and sound of her like this. He was…seeing beyond Patty's exterior for a moment. He was seeing something deeper than that, something sad behind the anger…something he wanted to address. But it was so hard for him to really process and explore this new aspect of her under feelings the present stressful circumstances and he had to put it to the back of his mind for a moment in order to give Patty that 'reason' she had demanded for not flambéing him. "O-Okay…" he started delicately, "I...can explain…See, I—"

"LIAR!" she cried in a loud hiss of a whisper, eyes flashing again!

Harold's eyes went wide and what little color was left in his face faded. "But I didn't even say anything yet!" he almost whined in fear.

"Oh just like you didn't say anything about YOU DROOLING OVER MY BEST FRIEND FOR WHO THE HECK KNOWS HOW LONG?" Patty seethed back.

"Hey!" Harold scowled at her now and did his best to wriggle out of her hold so that he could get his feet back all the way on the ground and not feel like she was choking him by the collar anymore, "I never DROOLED! What, did Rhonda tell you that?" He straightened his tie, still scowling, and grumbled to himself, "Sheesh, what an ego. A guy gets dragged onto one Tunnel of Love ride and _doesn't_ push the girl out of the boat 'cuz he's tryin' to be nice and because she's not so awful, and suddenly he's branded for life…"

"Oh please!" Patty rolled her eyes, still fuming! (And still feeling really hurt inside about all of this). "Don't act like Rhonda's not all pretty and petite and perfect! Don't act like you wouldn't have been all over her!" A new thought occurred to Patty suddenly, causing her eyes to flash again. "Were you two on a date that night we met at her house for that party?" Yes, Patty was getting a little hysterical and paranoid sounding now but in her defense the poor girl was about as frazzled and confused and frustrated as could be.

Harold, still scowling (and a little more so by now) looked at her with a frown and threw his arms up in desperation. "We _never dated_, Patty! And oh brother, here we go…" he rolled his eyes and held out his arms, "I don't WANT pretty and petite and perfect! I want YOU!"

(For anyone looking to take dating advice from this story, the thing to take away from this segment of it is to PLEASE have a high awareness of how you phrase things, especially in emotional situations).

Patty just…she just blinked...blinked several times…froze. Her face contorted and her eyes shone.

Harold just looked at her, genuinely and sincerely confused. "What?" he finally almost whined, just not getting what the problem was.

"A-And what am I, exactly?" Patty suddenly croaked out to him, her voice sounding strained, her eyes dark.

Harold blinked. "Huh?"

"Rhonda's pretty and petite and perfect and you don't want that, you want me apparently. So what the heck am I exactly, Harold?!" Patty asked again, trying not to let her voice crack (and her mind not yet focusing on the fact that Harold, despite how poorly he might have phrased it, had just admitted that he wanted her!)

Harold blinked a bunch of times at this question and instantly his face flushed bright red. "I-I…w-w-well…y-you…I-I mean, you're…th-there's…a-and I already said before that you're…you're…" he stumbled over the words, heart racing a little.

"Oh!"…Patty looked furious…and yet also about to burst into tears. "Just forget it! Just forget everything!"

And then she pushed past him to head back over to their table but not before mumbling under her breath, "At least Torvald doesn't lie to me…"

All of Harold's stammering stopped (though his blushing still went on) and he scowled angrily in her direction. "Grr!" And then he stomped off back toward the table in frustration too. Frustration with Patty, frustration with Torvald, frustration with himself…

'_You're strong and smart and funny and creative and nice and…beautiful…I told you before you were beautiful. That's you…and that's all I want…you…'_

He hated that: not being able to think of the perfect way to say what you had to say to someone until the moment had passed… Not that he had felt the courage within himself to admit it all to her, at least not here and now. That had been his only reason for hesitation…nerves and needing a moment to organize his thoughts.

But now she was just angry and walking away and thinking of Torvald and so was he.

And now all Harold felt like he wanted was to go back to the table. He wanted to eat dessert and pay the bill and just go. '_Dating stinks…' _he grumbled to himself inside.

* * *

And now to return to the table at the present moment when all four of its occupants were all in their seats once again this evening…

Both Helga and Arnold had mixed feelings about Patty and Harold suddenly returning to the table at the moment. Both wanted to be alone with the other, to talk…and yet both almost hysterically feared what might happen if they were put together like that for too long. And so the return of their friends felt both like a severe limitation and like the greatest relief at the same time. And now they both just sat there, staring down at their empty plates, Helga sort of trembling, Arnold sort of warm, not saying a word, hoping their friends would fill the silence.

Their friends did no such thing though.

In fact several seconds passed where the only sound at the table was the occasional creak of a chair, a light exhale of breath, a soft clearing of the throat.

Helga, before Arnold of course, realized something was wrong with this situation. She could just…feel it. She glanced over at Harold and Patty and blinked. '_Whoa_…' Helga was pretty much an expert scowler but she had never seen two people with darker, more distressed looks about them than Harold and Patty had right now. And both of them still had a bit of food on their plates but they weren't eating…They were just boring holes into the table between them, both looking about ready either to snap from rage or burst into tears of despair.

Something in Helga's heart was touched of course. How could she help but feel sympathy looking at two young lovers, each seeming defeated, miserable, confused…She had spent most of the last seven years of her life feeling just that way after all.

Pouting at the sight, Helga glanced back over to Arnold. She tried to get his attention just by looking at him but he was still just looking down at his plate, blushing, having that big, wide eyed, 'I'm Arnold and I wish I was a ladies man but mostly I wouldn't know the first thing to do with a girl if I got one, and so now I'm permanently extra super flustered around Helga G. Pataki who threw herself at me' look on his face.

Helga just sighed softly and rolled her eyes. '_Oh brother_…' She gave him a light kick under the table, scowling a little, and whispering with a touch of a hiss, "Football Head!"

A gasp from him! "Helga, I—…" Then Arnold paused in…whatever deep thought he had been suddenly jogged into almost saying aloud. He blushed more and swallowed…and then realized she had kicked him and he winced a tiny bit as the pain finally processed, and he couldn't help scowling slightly and being about to admonish her for it…until he saw the look on her face.

Something in her gaze was very firm yet very meaningful. He looked to her eyes curiously…then her eyes gestured to the other end of the table. Arnold's eyes went over there and he blinked at the sight of Harold and Patty looking so fiercely angry (and obviously too wrapped up in whatever was making them look that way to even eat let alone tune in to whatever Arnold and Helga might be whispering under their breath about). He looked back at Helga curiously again, though now at least he was obviously aware of the situation and only seeking an explanation of it maybe if she had one.

Helga looked back at him with compassion and also a touch of desire to obviously have a talk with him. She considered for a second and then glanced at the table, then glanced away innocently and casually swiped her fork to the floor.

Arnold blinked at the action, then blinked at her. Hesitated...then reached down and picked up the fork and offered it to her, still looking so very unsure though.

Helga, almost predicting he wouldn't get it, sighed and rolled her eyes, took the fork, then blatantly dropped it on the floor and now swiped his fork to the floor too. Then she cleared her throat and whispered to him very firmly, "Oh dear, Arnold, now both of our forks are on the floor. Perhaps we should retrieve them…_together_?" She scowled meaningfully at him.

Arnold quirked his mouth to the side and then blinked and his eyes went wide in realization. "Ooohhh…" left his mouth as he put together that she was trying to get him to go under the table with her. He blushed furiously at, well…how that sounded…and then cleared his throat, did his best to get over it because he knew it obviously wasn't about that, and nodded. "S-Sure, Helga…Let's get them…" And then he left his chair and knelt down upon the floor.

A breath escaped Helga and she did her best not to smile and shake her head at his ridiculous and yet cute denseness. And then she ducked down along the side of the table too.

"Arnold, listen, I—" Helga looked at him but had to pause. He had a little hopeful smile on his face and he was holding out her dropped fork to her.

Helga blinked…then gave him a very dry look. "Arnold…you do know that the forks thing was a PRETENCE…right?"

Arnold blinked and then looked down at the fork in his hand and then looked back up to Helga, lowering the fork a little. "Oh, I-I know…Sorry, just…habit, I guess. I mean, someone drops something you should always offer to help them pick it up…" He sighed, still smiling though. "I know, I know, I'm a wet blanket and a goodie two shoes. Sorry, Helga…"

Helga just sighed and rolled her eyes and took the fork before he could put it back on the floor. Then she picked up his fork and shoved it into his hands. _'Yeah, now's the time for random chivalry, sure, why not….'_ And yet…it was so cute! Oh it was so annoying but _so_ cute! He had picked up her fork for her! And it made Helga feel that maddening feeling that could only be a manifestation of the deep and undeniable love she felt for him. And so with a soft smile Helga left Arnold with the fork and finished calmly and serenely enough, "There, now we're even…" Then she sighed and asked with a half roll of her eyes, "Now can we talk for five seconds? And about something besides…you know… 'us'?" She made air quotes around the last word, speaking with a touch of dryness again though a little quirk or her smile still remained.

Arnold, meanwhile, couldn't help chuckling a tiny bit at Helga. She was so cute when she made jokes like that. Then of course Arnold's eyes went wide at having just thought of her as cute and he swallowed and looked down and just nodded. "Um…sure…" Arnold looked back up at her and added sincerely, "Is something wrong with Harold and Patty, Helga? Do you think we can help?"

Helga bit her lower lip and glanced down. "Yeah, about that, see…remember how before when they left and looked angry I mentioned something about women not liking double standards? Well, heh, to make a long story short, I…kind of…accidently mentioned something to Patty on our way back from the bathroom involving those pesky double standards because I didn't realize she didn't know the thing I mentioned to her, and…in a nutshell, I think I helped cause that little scowl fest up there." She jerked her thumb up towards the top of the table.

Arnold looked at her curiously. "What did you mention to Patty, Helga?" Not that Arnold meant to pry but he couldn't even imagine what could cause two good friends like Harold and Patty, despite any little problems or tiffs they had been having during this meal so far, to suddenly look that angry together.

Helga just sighed and rolled her eyes at his question, then tugged at her collar and kind of mumbled back, "Mmm…that…Harold and Rhonda kind of sort of used to unofficially be an item…Heh…" She gave a weak grin and shrugged.

She saw Arnold blink at first and then he looked like he was about to give her one of his gentle lectures—probably something about people's privacy and whatnot.

Helga just sighed and rolled her eyes though, cutting him off at the pass. "Oh don't give me that look, Arnoldo! Excuse me for letting slip a fact that I thought was common knowledge. I've been under a lot of stress lately, you know…" She glared at him a little.

Arnold just sighed and looked down, 'the look' leaving his face. Alright, now was not the time for a lecture. He looked back at Helga seriously. "I…I know…But so…" he decided to move on to the point of the situation, "…how do you think we can help Patty and Harold then, Helga?"

Helga considered carefully. Then she replied simply, "Let's try and engage them in some conversation. Uh…keep it light. General interests of theirs, the dessert menu…" Then she bit her lip and glanced away… "And…if worse comes to worse…I do have one other thing…Ugh, but I don't want it to come to that." She raised her hand not holding her fork and rubbed one of her temples.

Arnold looked at her curiously, leaning in closer. "What is it, Helga?" Despite the fact that the question might have had a million awkward answers, Arnold just…didn't care. He just wanted to know what was on her mind, what she was thinking of, that was all.

Helga, at the moment, did have a natural, instinctive compulsion to tell him that it was none of his business what it was and then to yank him up off the floor by his shirt collar and back up to the table with her. But at the same time she also…had this sort of new instinct…an instinct to confide in him. Honestly, she didn't know why she felt it—maybe her confession had opened some kind of floodgate inside of her towards him or something? But, despite how strangely he had been reacting to learning about her secret feelings for him, Helga felt like at the very least their friendship was special somehow now…and so she wanted to tell him things. It was scary…but she wanted to.

She swallowed and glanced to the side, biting her lip before beginning. "Well…l-look, I'm sworn to a degree of secrecy here so I can't let you in on all the details, Football Head, but, um…part of the reason there's been so much tension on the far side of our table tonight is that Patty's been spending a lot of extra time away from Harold lately and…Harold's getting a little suspicious about that. But…I can account for at least part of Patty's 'absence'…" She was slowly yet mercilessly pulling at a lock of her hair.

Arnold just looked at her with interest and a small smile. "Oh…you've been spending time hanging out with Patty? Well, that's great, Helga. I told you that you guys might have a lot in common. I'm happy you've been hitting it off." A curious look came to his face. "But, Helga…I don't understand. If a big part of why Patty hasn't been around is that she's been spending time with you, then why not just tell Harold that from the start?"

"I asked her not to tell anyone, alright?" Helga couldn't help but reply with a touch of attitude.

Arnold blinked, his head tilting to the side. "Well…why not?" He couldn't help but quirk his mouth into a small frown and add with a touch of disappointment, "Helga…you're not…embarrassed by spending time with Patty, are you? You know that's not very nice. How would you feel if someone—"

"What is with the inquisition and what part of 'now is not the time for a lecture' has not yet sunk in yet?!" she shot back before he could keep going. But then she closed her eyes and took a deep breath and let it out, and then she opened her eyes and spoke in a much calmer…and almost hurt…voice. "Give me a little credit, Arnold. I'm not going to have some 'secret friendship' with Patty just because some other people are idiots and really do think that she's dumb and ugly and a bunch of stupid stuff like that. And frankly you know darn well that the only reason I was ever acting like I thought of her like that too was because whenever I get defensive the first thing I do is shoot my mouth off and hope for the best, and if there's one person for me to feel defensive around it's the only girl in school who's not only tough enough to beat me to a pulp but who also is quite convinced that you and I have a 'thing' for each other. Came to that screwy conclusion all on her own, by the way, nearly gave me a freaking heart attack! So, no, Arnold, I haven't been keeping spending time with Patty under wraps because I'm embarrassed of her…" Helga swallowed, her serious, poised face reddening slightly under a blush, "I've been keeping it under wraps because I'm embarrassed of me…" She swallowed and looked down and finished with a quick mumble, "I've been tutoring her in poetry interpretation…since I write a lot of that stuff…You remember…" she finished dryly, barely glancing up at him, "… 'Filling volumes of books with poems about you…'…you nosy little Football Head?" She tried not to let the heat of her blushing consume her.

During all of that, Arnold had just been watching Helga with wide, consumed eyes. She had never spoken to him about herself so directly before, so calmly, so straightforwardly…and he felt something again. This…intimacy between them. They had a secret…Helga's love for him. And they were coming together over it. And he felt bad for assuming she had selfish motives with keeping her time with Patty a secret. And he felt shy thinking about her poetry. And he felt…a feeling he didn't want to place…as he let sink in the phrase '…we have a thing for each other.' Patty thought they had a thing for each other…Did other people think they had a thing for each other? What was it about him specifically that suggested to other possibly that he had a thing for Helga…?

"I…I'm sorry, Helga…" suddenly left Arnold in a quiet and sincere voice as he put his worries aside and focused on her for the moment. He looked into her eyes. "I shouldn't have assumed the worst about you. That was wrong. I…I know you wouldn't pretend not to be friends with someone just because you're embarrassed…" he sort of half smiled and added, "…except of course for _me_, but…there's been a reason why you pretend we aren't friends, after all." He shrugged…and then he reached out his hand to her. "Come on. We'll help Harold and Patty…together. And you don't have to mention the poetry right now if you're not ready. Okay?" He smiled warmly at her.

'_Ugh…_' Oh it was that sultry smile, the one that always made her weak in the knees…And then with all the kind things he had said, apologizing, that cute little joke...how close they were acting right now… Helga sighed softly, unable to help smiling and looking at him a little dreamily. "O-Okay, Arnold…" She took his hand, "Wh-Whatever floats your boat, Football Head." And then she even giggled. Where the heck had that come from? All she could imagine to herself in her daze was that it had been fueled by their furthering intimacy, their furthering closeness together, and if there was one thing in life that had always gotten to her it was being close with Arnold.

Arnold's thoughts were similar as he felt himself liking more and more the idea of them and a new, secret aspect of their friendship. Indeed, he actually seemed to be in a little trance of his own at the moment too. He chuckled and nodded as he clasped her hand…He had a dreamy smile, and a touch of something playful about him. "I guess we really can't ever just have a nice, normal dinner with friends, huh?" He sighed and laughed a little.

Helga laughed too and shrugged, giving him a playful smirk. "Not at this restaurant, at least. Maybe we can break the curse if we head over to Chez Pierre one of these days instead?" she joked.

"We could try…" Arnold sighed and shrugged in return.

Helga's gaze softened. Her blue eyes were half lidded. Her smile was sweet and sincere. "W-We'll see, paste for brains, we'll see…Don't know why you're such a glutton for punishment and tempting fate but maybe the fourth 'date' will be the charm." She rolled her eyes with a smile.

They were quiet and still for a moment.

And a little tug pulled them closer to one another.

An extra blush, a swallow, and a glancing away ended it though and then Helga stood and pulled Arnold up with her and the two of them resumed their seats.

Helga immediately turned her attention to Harold and Patty (ignoring the pounding fluttering of her heart at that last second of her and Arnold's moment together…and what it had felt like the start of for a second there). "So, um—" She paused. Harold and Patty were both still scowling…but some of the seething had softened now to curiosity and they were looking in her and Arnold's direction with raised eyebrows.

Helga blushed scarlet and swallowed, clearing her throat. "U-Um…s-sorry. W-We dropped our forks and they were…hard to find…Um…" he gulped, "A-Anyway, Patty…Harold…" she put on her best smile, leaning close to them, "Arnold and I have been talking and we just want to thank you so much for inviting us to this dinner. Uh…y-you know, Football Head and I haven't had very good luck with experiences at this restaurant but tonight we've actually k-kind of enjoyed ourselves a little, and especially with you two, so thanks…" she finished appreciatively.

Harold and Patty blinked a few times and a little more softening happened to their features.

"Mm…you're welcome, Helga…" Harold mumbled out.

Patty nodded. "Yeah, you're welcome…And thanks for coming, Helga. I'm glad _you're_ having a good time." A touch of something angry came back into Patty's features and she ground her fork into the plate before her. Doing so reminded her of something and she looked back to Arnold and Helga. "Oh, and that head waiter swung by for a sec when you guys were on the floor, by the way…He said Torvald'll be coming back and clear our plates so we can order dessert…right after he brings _Rhonda's _table another bottle of Pyrenees spring water."

"Gr…" Harold grumbled. He rolled his eyes and then started stabbing at the plate in front of him with his own fork. "Yeah, _Torvald_ saves the day again…"

Patty shot him a look.

Helga watched them, unable to help a touch of concern coming to her features once more. She knew the two of them really needed to cool it with the digs at each other otherwise the problem was going to escalate and get way out of control. '_Not that I'm anyone to talk considering my usual relationship with Arnold but still, those two are NORMAL people, they need to quit messing around and deal with the problem and make up like normal people!'_

Then all of Helga's thoughts on the matter shut down for a second and she felt a touch of euphoria come over her as Arnold suddenly put his hand over hers on the table and said some…truly wonderful things.

"We really have had a good time, Harold, Patty. But it's not just the nice dinner. I think that Helga and I can…finally really be friends now and okay with each other…and it's all because of you two."

These words, softly spoken by a smiling Arnold, at the very least intrigued Patty and Harold. The two of them glanced back over to their ten-year-old counterparts, only to see Arnold smiling at them and Helga glancing at Arnold looking just as intrigued as they were.

Arnold smiled a little more and explained in response to their gazes. "Helga and I have been fighting…a lot more than usual lately. But, well…you two have always been kind of confrontational, but when you're together you're nice and smile and enjoy each other's company and Helga and I have decided to take it as an example. We want to be friends too…V-Very good friends. And this dinner helped us see that we can be if we try. Right, Helga?" And now suddenly his sights were on her and he squeezed her hand.

Helga looked so confused and her eyes were so wide. "I…I-I…" Her eyes came to look up at his, "I…" she seemed confused…and then her features glowed and softened, as though realizing something, "I…you and I…could be friends…and very good friends…" She said it as though waiting for it to be confirmed. _'Th-That would be more than two thirds of the way there, r-right? There's 'I don't like, Helga' and then there's 'I like Helga sometimes' and then there's 'I really like Helga' and then…Y-Yeah that's three-quarters of the way actually…Oh….' _Her heart was practically palpitating.

Arnold just nodded to her, still smiling warmly. "Of course, Helga. We don't always have to fight just because…w-we have some personal issues. Even if sometimes we confuse each other a little, it doesn't mean that you hate me or that I hate you. We can be very good friends, Helga." He squeezed her hand again and this time raised both of theirs up. And then he…he swallowed…and he added…softly… "I told you…I like you, Helga…and I-I'd like to know…do you… like me too?" '_Even after running away from you during Valentine's Day and leaving you after your confession…even after avoiding you and then almost embarrassing you in front of everyone lately…are we still okay, Helga…are we still okay?'_

'_O-Oh…_' Oh dear…oh no…he had just…recreated…that night…Valentine's night…that moment…when she had asked and…he hadn't answered because he'd gone off to be with stupid Ruth and…Oh dear, she felt just as flustered as when she had walked into the restaurant tonight and he had recognized her as Cecile, maybe even worse! Oh and why did he have to be doing it in front of other people, even if it was Harold and Patty, and even if it was to help take their minds off of their own fighting….Why... "I…like you, Arnold…You know…I've always liked you…ever since I first laid eyes on that stupid football head of yours…" Oh her cheeks burned with blushing and her heart fluttered like mad…But faced with his re-creation how could she help but have one of her own in reply…? And now she just looked down and tried not to tremble and hoped that she hadn't humiliated herself.

* * *

From across the table, Patty and Harold watched closely. And all anger was gone from their faces. Indeed, their attentions were rapt, eyes wide in wonder as they watched a softly smiling Arnold hold a blushing Helga G. Pataki's hand and remind her he liked her…and had her admit in reply that she liked him too.

Patty felt any hardness in her heart soften and any despair about love find new hope.

Harold felt like…he was understanding, though at the same time that it was something that shouldn't be understandable. His mind couldn't wrap around specifics just yet though. In short, he was confused so far but growing more curious and understanding more little by little as time passed during this meal.

Patty and Harold's attentions were so drawn to Arnold and Helga that the two of them barely noticed it when…

"Hey…guys? Harold, Patty…you who? Just wanted to clear your plates before I bring dessert." Torvald quickly went around, gathering up the empty entrée plates. He noticed Arnold and Helga as he did so and smiled at them. And Harold and Patty just kept looking at Arnold and Helga too.

* * *

As Torvald had left, Helga (who had barely even registered his presence) was starting to feel quite overwhelmed. It was just…she cherished any happy time with Arnold, would feed off of any hope…but this was getting to be too much, this here, this moment and so many other little moments this night. It felt like a dream…and she was one meal course away from waking up from it. She knew she had to reel it in, had to let it go, had to prepare for the lonely, long walk back to her house tonight. No teasing herself with Arnold. Yes, all of this was too much and it had gotten to the point where she just knew that something inside of her must be weakening and imagining his new kindness and friendliness into an illusion of romance…The poor, dense little thing didn't really like her like that at all. Of course, his starved little heart was just so happy to actually have a girl like him for once that it was responding to her feelings involuntarily. Not to mention Arnold probably felt so bad for her…loving him and being so awkward. Of course his do-gooder little heart would take pity on her. And she was sure, just like how he hadn't even realized that his attempts to 'talk to her' lately were risky and scary for her, that he must not realize that what he was doing now wasn't just being nice but it would have the consequence of giving her a false hope, of leading her on in her desperation. If he gave her an inch her heart would imagine a mile, and right now he was giving her a mile which made her imagine many miles…and she didn't want to imagine miles…and then have the door of reality slammed in her face again.

And so Helga did the only thing she could think of to do to fix this problem and get herself out of this mess. Forget the small talk plan for fixing Harold and Patty—it wasn't working and she didn't want to go with Arnold's obvious plan of distracting their friends by bringing attention to themselves. And so Helga decided it was time for the third option of making things better, however awkward it might be. She bit her lip, looked away from Arnold and downward…and then sighed and looked up again and addressed Harold.

Helga really usually didn't speak to anyone in her calm, normal, natural voice very often (which, at the back of her mind she realized, was probably a big part of why Arnold hadn't recognized her as Cecile last Valentine's Day no matter how much they had talked and how much her French accent had slipped). But she let herself speak to Harold in that voice now. She just didn't have the energy or the will to fake anything more at the moment as she felt her heart was breaking away. "Harold…listen. Um…I…" she chose the way to phrase it carefully, "I've been meaning to thank you for something, and as long as we're all here and we have some time, and especially since you and Patty seem a little upset, I'd like to do it now. I know you and Patty have been good friends for a while now but…lately Patty and I have also started becoming kind of good friends. But I feel like for the last few weeks I've been taking up a large part of her time and being a little secretive about it, and also asking her to be a little secretive about it too…and I'm sorry if it's affected your friendship at all. I didn't mean to exclude you or to put Patty in an awkward position. It's just…I was helping Patty with something for school, something that I sort of have a talent for, but I was embarrassed about it so I wanted it kept under wraps. You know me—defensive to a fault. But, we're all friends here and you should know the truth." She let out a breath. She was as frank as could be. She even smiled softly as she finally admitted, "I like to write poetry, Harold. Most of it I find…questionable at best." She blushed a little bit, almost wanting to give Arnold a look. Not that she had meant that as a dig at him but she figured it wouldn't hurt to take him down a peg about all of this and make him realize that he wasn't exactly compelling book-length epic poems from her ten-year-old fingertips on a regular basis. On top of which, she couldn't help but find some of her work (especially from her younger days) a touch sappy at times…though sweet and heartfelt and true at its core of course. Anyway, Helga went on. "But Simmons likes my work, and Patty needed some help in poetry interpretation for her class, so I promised her I'd do it if she promised not to tell anyone that I was doing it. And now here we are. And I'm sorry again if me taking up so much of her time has been hard on your friendship."

Helga knew that she had just told the only other kid who teased other kids as much as she did that she, Helga G. Pataki, the iron fisted Queen of the fourth grade, wrote and taught poetry. She also knew that she didn't care anymore quite frankly. If she could survive Arnold recognizing her as Cecile, anything Harold had to dish out about her 'girly extracurriculars' she could take and then some.

Harold was just watching her, looking very curious, like he was taking everything in and gently letting his mind absorb and understand it.

His first words weren't addressed to Helga though, but rather to Patty.

He turned to look at the girl across from him. "Patty…is that true? Some of the time lately…you've been spending with Helga working on, um…poetry stuff?"

Patty, rather surprised indeed at everything Helga had just admitted, just looked at Harold, looked at Helga, felt incredibly grateful to her, then looked at Harold again. She nodded. "Yeah. I…I got a B+ on the paper she helped me write…and that was enough to help me get an A- overall in English…"

Harold's eyes lit up a little. He smiled. "You got an A-. You're so smart, Patty." He always smiled and said that whenever he would find out that she had gotten a good grade. And he would sigh a little, his eyes would go half lidded…much like they were doing now.

And Patty would blush and sort of smile much like she was doing now too. "thank you, Harold…"

Helga smiled almost dreamily at the sight of them sort of reconciling, of them even looking as perfectly happy with their special relationship as ever, even if it was only for right now and even if later things might get a little tense again when they talked out whatever they needed to talk out. But at least for the moment they had been started upon the road to being okay again and Helga was just happy that at least one romance was looking like it might be okay after the zaniness of this meal.

"Hey guys, I'm back for your dessert order! Sorry for the delay!" A smiling Torvald suddenly appeared again now, order pad in hand, looking to each of the happy couples. "And, hey, whatever you get, I'll try to get you guys some extra large portions." He winked good naturedly at his friends.

Harold and Patty were quite understandably feeling a little awkward (not really angry again but just awkward) at the moment now that their 'friend' had returned, and so they both just kind of half glanced at the dessert menu and shrugged and mumbled.

"Uh…I-I'm not sure. Anything's okay…"

"Yeah, what, uh…what she said…"

Torvald observed Harold and Patty with interest for a moment, and then he looked to the other couple. "Arnold, Helga? Any preferences?"

Torvald was met with Helga just sighing and making what looked like a great effort at picking up the little dessert menu to read the darn thing. Arnold however smiled and replied, not even looking at the menu. "I'll have whatever Helga's having."

And now Torvald continued to watch with interest and amusement (and maybe a touch of something sentimental) as Helga's reaction to this preference of her dinner companion was to blush scarlet and drop her jaw. Then she just sighed dramatically and tossed her head back over the back of her chair. And though it might have been hard to tell at first, it became obvious quickly that she was desperately trying to hold back a smile and maybe even a laugh. "Torvald, whatever's quickest to make would be just swell for all of us, I think." She looked to Torvald and even smiled a little.

Torvald smiled back, chuckling. Arnold and Helga…really were kind of funny together actually. He liked it. He wrote something down on the order pad. "Okay, you've got it, Helga. I'll be back soon guys. Just got to head to Rhonda's table first to get her dessert order too." He gave a little wave to everyone and quickly departed in the direction of their friend's table.

* * *

"Hey Rhonda, how's it going? Hope your family's enjoying everything—it's really important to my boss." A smiling Torvald had lowered his voice to a whisper, winking at Rhonda as he finished writing down the last specifics of her family's dessert order.

Oh temptation…sweet, sweet temptation…Torvald, trusting, open, eager to please Torvald right in her lap and…Rhonda had to pretend like she didn't want to charmingly pounce all over him and pull every detail she could out of him about him and Patty and Harold (and certainly she could glean a tidbit or two about Arnold and Helga from him while she was at it)!

Oooo Arnold and Helga…so much juicier even than the Harold/Patty/Torvald thing…and that was saying something.

Rhonda was drooling.

Yet she resisted…

"Th-Thank you, Torvald…Yes, w-we're having a grand time…" She stammered it out, biting her tongue. Oh it was hard, it was so hard…but, no, she had promised Patty. And she wasn't even holding back just now for fear of getting beat up or something. Patty was her friend and she had to respect her friend. Yes, it was the right thing to do to respect her friend and to leave Patty and Harold and Torvald…and even Arnold and Helga…alone…

"Awesome, glad to hear it, Rhonda." Torvald smiled, picking up a few used plates to take away.

Rhonda did her best to smile back at him, though it was weak…and then her eyes traveled behind him and went wide. She could see Arnold and Helga sitting right next to Harold and Patty on the opposite side of the table, and the two young blondes were smiling at each other, and…o-m-g, Arnold was holding her hand and she—

"Rhonda, can I ask you a question if you've got a sec? Sorry, I don't mean to interrupt your meal but…you're the only one I can talk to I think."

Torvald had just moved to the right, entirely blocking Rhonda's field of vision of Arnold and Helga.

'_Darn it!'_ Rhonda couldn't help but scowl and nearly want to groan at the loss of the visual…Still, she did her best with it. "Um, yes, Torvald, wh-what is it?" She looked to him, calling upon all of her patience and restraint.

Torvald sighed, a sincerely concerned and curious look coming to his face. "Well…I know I can be a little inconsiderate sometimes…and I'm working on getting better about that but…well, I just can't figure out this one. Why is Harold angry at me, Rhonda? What did I do to him?" Torvald leaned against the edge of the table. After all, he might have been a little behind the other kids in class sometimes but he wasn't stupid nor blind. He had noticed the little scowls from Harold directed at him, the grumbling under his breath (which usually included Torvald's name at some point), the way Patty had actually had to kick Harold under the table at one point for making some crack that Torvald had done his best not to pay attention to (he refused to lose his temper and risk his job over something as silly as another kid giving him attitude—he liked the changes he had made in his life and wanted to keep things that way, and besides, Arnold had helped teach him that talking was a way better way of solving things than punching)…Anyway, the point was, Torvald knew he wasn't particularly liked tonight by Harold…but for Pete's sake he could not figure out why? What in the world had he done? He knew Harold, and though the kid had a temper and could be kind of confrontational he never got that way without some kind of provocation…so what had it been?

And so Torvald, seeking answers, had chosen to come to the one place he was sure to get them from. The school gossip: Miss Rhonda Wellington Lloyd. Not to mention, Rhonda was one of Patty's best friends so maybe Patty had mentioned something about Harold to her that she could share. And also Torvald was fairly certain that Rhonda and Harold had been close once. He didn't really know any details and knew they weren't that close now, but he did have a distinct memory of chanting with a bunch of people 'Harold and Rhonda Sitting in a Tree' a couple cheese festivals ago when she had pulled him in to the Tunnel of Love Ride by force. ( '_Aw, that night was so classic…_' Torvald couldn't help but think to himself with a little grin.)

"Mm…mmmm…" Rhonda bit her lip, her gossip tongue writhing in her mouth, dying, dying, dying to scream out, 'HAROLD IS PRACTICALLY IN LOVE WITH PATTY AND HE THINKS YOU'VE BEEN WOOING THE HECK OUT OF HER AND HE'S ABOUT READY TO PUNCH YOUR LIGHTS OUT AND WHAT EXACTLY HAVE YOU BEEN DOING SNEAKING OFF WITH MY FRIEND FOR SECRET tête-à-têtes FOR THE LAST FEW WEEKS ANYWAY? AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE PASSIONATE, SECRET, SUDDEN AFFAIR BETWEEN ARNOLD AND HELGA BESIDES THE FACT THAT IT MUST BE A SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE!'

Ugh, if there was one thing that could leave a bad taste in your mouth after a delicious five star meal it was having clam up!

But Rhonda gulped, took it in stride, and respected Patty's wishes as best she could.. "Um…y-you know, I…I-I think, T-Torvald, that, um…m-maybe y-you should just t-talk to Patty about it…later. Trust me, you didn't do anything…really…" Rhonda picked up her glass of sparkling spring water—she needed a gulp. Her hand shook the whole time she was drinking it and made the glass rattle and spill a few drops of water as she put it down. '_Ugh…this goes against everything in my nature…'_

"Oh…" was all Torvald merely replied with a shrug and a smile at this explanation, straightening up again and taking another used plate in hand from the table. "Alright. I'm just glad I didn't do anything wrong. Thanks, Rhonda." He sighed and nodded. "And yeah, that's probably a good idea actually. I'll talk to Patty when everything's done. She seems a little stressed out anyway…" Torvald happened to glance back at the table across the restaurant and noticed that though Harold and Patty didn't seem angry with one another at the moment, they did seem quite listless and weren't really talking at all again. He hoped he hadn't made anything worse when he had gone over there just now for the dessert order.

"Y-Yeah, um…she's just…tired…m-maybe?" Rhonda managed to mumble with a forced half smile…while inside of her head she screamed, 'SHE'S TRYING TO JUGGLE TWO MEN AT ONCE AND MAY VERY WELL BE IN THE MIDDLE OF A TORRID LOVE TRIANGLE! ARE YOU BLIND? GO TO HER! HAVE IT OUT WITH HAROLD RIGHT IN THE OPEN! GO OUT TO THE ALLEY AND DO A FIST FIGHT AT TWENTY PACES! OH IT'S TOO JUICY TO BELIEVE! AND FIND OUT HOW LONG HELGA'S HAD THE HOTS FOR ARNOLD WHILE YOU'RE AT IT!'

As Rhonda's internal meltdown continued, meanwhile, Torvald just sighed and did his best to smile and remain optimistic though. "Hmm…but maybe some more time around Arnold and Helga will help them feel better. I don't know about you, Rhonda, but those two always make me crack a smile." He turned to look back at Rhonda and pointed over his shoulder with his thumb back at Arnold and Helga. "They're sweet, aren't they…Like…Like brother and sister or best friends or…or something, you know?" He shrugged innocently.

"Ah…" It squeaked out of her. Oh that…just…and…oh…. "Yes, they're sweet," she got out stiffly upon which she collapsed onto her arms on the table.

Torvald blinked, looking at her in concern. "Rhonda? You okay?"

Rhonda just sighed and sat up, looking a little defeated but surviving nonetheless. "Yes. But bring me two chocolate mousses for dessert instead of one, okay, Torvald? I need it."

Torvald looked at her with a curious smile for a moment but then just shrugged and nodded and jotted something down on his notepad. "You got it, Rhonda. Two desserts it is." He winked at her.

"Hey Torvald?" one of the other busboys suddenly piped up, tapping him on the shoulder.

Torvald turned around to his coworker. "Yeah, Tony?"

The kid pointed in the direction of the front doors with the thumb of his hand that wasn't currently involved in carrying a tray of used glasses back to the kitchen. "Someone girl's up front waiting for you. I told her you weren't off for half an hour but she said she wanted to surprise you and say hi."

Torvald perked up, having an idea of who that might be. "Oh thanks! I'll be right there!" Tony left and then Torvald turned back to Rhonda, his face a big, bright grin now. "See you in a bit with dessert, Rhonda! And thanks again for the talk." And with that he popped over to the kitchen to hand in the dessert orders for Rhonda's table and for Patty and Helga's table before he went up front to deal with his guest.

"Mmm…you're welcome…" Rhonda managed in a quiet grumble. Then she let out a sigh and just slumped down in her seat, feeling relief now that she was out of close proximity of Torvald…and whoever Torvald was going up front to see…What if it was another side in this love triangle? Oh the temptation, the sweet temptation… _'B-But no, I-I can resist…I really…really can…yes…'_

But still she couldn't help the sickening feeling that unless this meal ended soon she was going to burst and scream at Torvald and anyone else who would listen all of those things she had screamed at him in her head and more…

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the table with our two favorite couples…

As Torvald left following the dessert order, Helga sighed once more and looked up. Her gaze went to Arnold and took her hand from his to cross her arms over her chest finally and smirked a little, still amused by that 'I'll have whatever she's having' little quip of his just now. "Are you ever going to stop sucking up, Football Head?" she asked. Her tone was devoid of sarcasm though—it sounded amused actually. She may have been feeling on an emotional rollercoaster at the moment but she always gave comedy credit where credit was due.

At the question and her action, Arnold brought his hands back in front of himself on the table and just shrugged, grinning away. "What? You did such a good job ordering my steak…and not ordering yourself brains…I figured I couldn't pick a better dessert than what you'd pick." A little chuckle escaped him, though he did his best to suppress it..

Helga just sighed and rolled her eyes. Back to the Cecile jokes, huh? She was torn between amusement and annoyance and that despair from before. And, before she could think better of it, that fear inside of her of all of this closeness between them ending as soon as the check was paid made her reply quietly, taking up the dessert menu just for the sake of having something in her hand, "Well…you'd have probably found out what dessert I would have picked last time…_if_ you'd stuck around 'til the end of the meal…"

She was unsure about the slightly cool comment and yet…in all fairness, however charming and magical and memorable their first 'date' at this place had been…Arnold had indeed ditched her after the entrée for Ruth P. McDougal…And even if the two of them were now sort of trying to get along and were sort of doing really well at it and could sort of maybe be friends, no young lady ever forgets something like being ditched on her first date. Besides, she had been looking for something to douse all of his lovey-dovey-ness a little and so why not a very unfair thing he had once done to her (regardless of not knowing it had been her he was doing it to at the time).

At such 'harsh' words from Helga Arnold blinked and frowned. '_But I thought we were past…_' Hadn't things just been going so well? Hadn't they been getting okay and hadn't she said she liked him too and hadn't they been talking about being friends? Arnold sighed to himself and closed his eyes. '_Women are complicated, women are complicated…Be patient…'_ Yes, he just had to have patience. He was getting her to open up little by little, he just had to stay the course, not let her get under his skin, not let her bug him…

"Not that you got any 'dessert' from Ruth though of course…" It left Helga in the lightest mumble so that only Arnold would hear. She really just hadn't been able to help herself.

And of course Arnold did indeed hear her. And then he blinked. And then he blushed. And then he decided that patience could wait for a minute and he played with a stray spoon on the table and mumbled right back to her, "At least 'Ruth' was her _real name_…"

Helga's eyes went a little wide and then she scowled at being answered back. She put down the dessert menu and mumbled back, "Real name, huh? Now the only question is if that air-brained ditz could spell it without getting distracted by a barrette or something shiny…"

Arnold's cheeks turned dark red and he clenched his jaw a little, squeezing the spoon in his hand. "She is a perfectly nice person, Helga…who doesn't eat _brains_."

"Um…Arnold?...Helga?"

Helga scoffed at Arnold, her mumble starting to sound more like an audible grumble and she was scowling again. "I ate the brains for _you, __Arnold._ Not to mention going through the French and the outfit and the hair and the shoes…."

"Uh…you guys?"

Arnold sighed, letting the spoon go and starting to drum his fingers on the table as he mumbled/grumbled (and quite audibly) too. "…Ruth had to go through a lot too, Helga…You know, just like I had to go through a lot of dirty dishes the second time you got us both here together."

"Guys! Seriously…"

"Pfft, please…First of all, oh boo hoo, you had to wash a few dishes—you still got a fabulous five star meal out of the night. Plus that water fight you won't shut up about. And second, trust me, Football Head, the only thing Ruth 'went through' that night was a box of two ply tissues half an hour before dinner when she was stuffing her—"

"_Okay_! Arnold! Helga! I know you two are having a 'moment' but, um…people are starting to hear and notice…Helga. Maybe you…want to wait until after dessert…?" By now a concerned Patty (and Harold was looking equally concerned…and very confused, by the way) had not only raised her voice to interrupt Helga but had gently grabbed her arm. She had been trying to interrupt the two of them for the last several back-and-forth barbs, having started to get a little concerned that this sudden bickering between Arnold and Helga might lead to some kind of physical altercation like back at school during the past week…but she was more concerned that the two of them getting so worked up and so absorbed in each other might lead to, well…she had only ever seen it in movies, but the way they were 'fighting' might lead to…a kiss…or kissing… The notion made Patty blush but she did her best to just put aside such thoughts and feelings and to focus on bringing Helga and Arnold back to reality.

"Huh?!" Helga gasped, almost sounding surprised that someone else was here. Then she blinked a few times and glanced around and suddenly really seemed to gain a new awareness of being here at a table with other people in a public place. She swallowed and looked down, removing her arm from Patty's grasp and just twiddling her thumbs on the tabletop. "U-Um…o-okay…wh-whatever…" she mumbled, sounding a little mortified. Then she sighed and crossed her arms over her chest and looked off to the side. "Crimeny, can't dessert come already…" She grumbled to herself nervously.

Across from her Arnold just sighed, frustrated with her for her attitude and stubbornness but also frustrated with himself for suddenly participating freely in an open back and forth with her again. Yet it…ugh, it was so hard NOT to fight with her! He had never liked fighting but fighting with her felt so right sometimes, and he was always supposed to do the right thing, right? Follow his instincts and stuff…But why did his instincts always lead him to some sort of heated confrontation with Helga G. Pataki? What was so special about Helga G. Pata…ki… Arnold's eyes had gone to her in the middle of these thoughts. She was looking down, pouting, a little scowl in her eyes…her blue eyes…face tinged with a blustery pink…and her long blonde hair seemed nicer than ever tonight. He was still so frustrated with her…but he liked her just the same. And how was that even possible… '…_being bugged by someone but…liking them…' _His thoughts tried to progress and mostly he just avoided them and looked down and blushed a little too to go right along with her.

"Arnold…um…" Harold Berman suddenly spoke up. He was scratching his head like he was trying to figure out if he was phrasing something right, "…can we go talk for a second…like by the bathrooms I guess?"

Arnold blinked, not having expected to be addressed and certainly not asked aside. Come to think of it though he _was_ the only person at this table who hadn't been pulled across this restaurant for a private conversation with someone at least once this evening so perhaps he was due. He just shrugged. "Sure." And then he sighed and stood up and Harold stood up and both of them headed across the restaurant.

They had been gone for about two seconds. Then Patty turned to Helga. "You and Arnold take the love/hate thing pretty seriously, don't you, Helga?" she asked in a tone actually quite devoid of sarcasm and more slightly impressed and amused sounding than anything else.

Helga just sighed and slumped down in her chair. "Oh…shut up, Patty…" she couldn't help but grumble listlessly. "He does not love me back, he's just a little do-gooder jerk who think it's neat that he's finally got proof that 'big, mean' Helga G. Pataki has a huge secret soft spot." She huffed and then looked to Patty, scowling. "Besides, I hate when he tries to get all 'close' and 'cute' with me sometimes. You know what, fine, I lied to him about being his stupid pen pal the first time we came here, but he was on a date with another woman at the SAME TIME AS ME! And did he ever apologize for that? No! All he did was shuffle his feet and pretend nothing had happened. Jerk. Grr…" Helga huffed once more and threw her napkin down onto the table cloth. She was still scowling, which was typical of Helga G. Pataki of course…but she was also biting her lower lip, looking a little rosy in the face…and her blue eyes shone a little.

Patty observed her carefully and considered before softly and sincerely speaking to her. "Are you sure that's really what's bothering you, Helga?"

Helga's features remained the same. And though she knew she must look a little…vulnerable…right now and that someone—Torvald, Rhonda, who knew, maybe the rest of the fourth grade would conveniently pop by right about now—might see…she didn't care. She didn't look Patty in the eye and responded very softly. "He doesn't act nice to me anymore because he wants to…he just does it to tease me…"

Patty blinked, not having expected this reply at all. "Helga…" she shook her head. She knew Arnold better than that…and she knew the blond girl sitting diagonally from her knew him better than that too. "That's not true…"

"Yes it is!" Helga couldn't help but announce dramatically (though quietly), glaring at Patty (though her eyes shone even more). "It's not genuine anymore. Trust me, he just acts nice now because he thinks he's supposed to because of how I feel about him or to make himself feel better about things. And it almost makes me think that…that…" she trembled and swallowed and went on, not wanting to say it lest she break into hysterics or something, "But he doesn't and it's upsetting for me, alright?" She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest and slumped more. She looked down, her scowl turning into a frown, and a listless glance. "I'm sorry, Patty. I'm sure that you wanted to help Arnold and me by inviting us here…and I appreciate it but…it's over now…We found out that we can be civil to each other and even very nice to each other but when the day is done we need to be apart from each other so that neither one of us gets hurt." She swallowed and then did her best to muster a smile, looking in Patty's direction. "A-Anyway, um…i-it looks like you and Harold are doing better though…I'm glad." The comment was very sincere and heartfelt.

Patty managed a smile back and a thank you. She understood—Helga wanted to drop the subject now. "Thanks, Helga…Yeah, I…think we're okay for now…We should probably talk later and I'm gonna take your advice about giving him some more attention now that I have more free time. We'll be alright. And thanks, Helga, for telling him about the poetry tutoring to help me out." Patty smiled very gratefully at her. "I appreciate it." She gave Helga a playful nudge in the shoulder.

"Ow!" Helga winced, rubbing her arm. Even Patty's 'playful' punches packed quite a bit of heat. She smiled though, knowing Patty had really only meant it in a friendly way (and also trying to keep up the image of her own toughness). "Oh, uh…sure, no problem, Patty." She shrugged, smiling more. "After all, this night's been a disaster for me, I figured another drop in the bucket wouldn't hurt and especially if it would help you and Harold out."

Patty smiled more and rolled her eyes. "Helga, come on, it hasn't been that bad of a dinner. And it's almost over anyway. Do you really regret coming?"

Helga looked down and thought about that, the little smile still on her face. "Well…no…not entirely." She looked at Patty, speaking dryly but with a touch of humor as she added, "But no more surprise set-ups between me and the Football Head, alright?"

Patty nodded and shrugged. "Alright, if you say so, Helga…" '_He definitely likes her back. Or 'loves' her or whatever. They won't be needing me to set them up. They'll be going out all on their own soon enough_.' She smirked to herself a little at the idea, but then mentally added with a sigh, _'I wonder if I'll be able to say the same for me and Harold ever…'_ Rather than lingering on the blush-worthy question though, Patty accepted once again that she would need to wait until later and a private conversation with Harold to sort out their relationship. Then she looked to Helga and added, just wanting to make sure the offer was out there, "And Helga…you know…if you ever really want to talk about this Arnold stuff…I'm always here for you. I won't tell anyone ever. I know it's important to you."

Helga's smile wobbled a bit but managed to remain firm. "Thanks, Patty…" she replied softly, looking to the older girl. She shrugged and finished, "Maybe…"

Though the answer was ambiguous, Patty could tell it was sincere, and that fact made her smile more and made her feel a lot better about her friend.

"Hey guys! Just, uh…just wanted to bring you some fresh napkins and, um…Oh…where are the guys?" Torvald said these words as he now appeared by their table once again, fresh napkins indeed in hand. And Patty and Helga had to blink in surprise at him. His words were…now suddenly strangely lilting and full of sighs, his eyes were half lidded, and a distinctive little grin was picking up on the side of his face.

Helga ad Patty both knew that look.

"Um…Harold and Arnold went…to talk over by the bathrooms, I think…" Patty replied distractedly, still looking at him curiously.

"Oh…" A small chuckle left Torvald as he picked up the dirty napkins to replace them. "That's kind of silly. Who goes and leaves a pretty girl all alone at a table on a date to talk? Don't worry, I'll go get them." He winked at both girls, his gaze mostly focused on Patty though. "Oh and by the way Patty, thanks so much again for uh…you know…" he wasn't specific, considering Helga's presence, though she and Patty both knew what he was referring to (at least in a general sense in the case of Helga), "…It's really gonna make a difference for me." He smiled more, still looking goofy as ever. Then he gave both girls a little wave. "Well, bye for now! I'll have your dessert soon, guaranteed!" And then he dashed off.

"Whoa…who the heck is he in love with?" Helga couldn't help but ask aloud the second he was gone, her eyes wide as she watched him go.

Patty blushed…and swallowed. "Helga…you…you don't really think that…that it's me…do you?" she asked, almost shakily.

Helga blinked and then looked to her friend and she could see right away how nervous the question made Patty. She replied as reassuringly as she could. "I think that you need to talk to him sometime soon, like I said, and figure out where you guys stand. But for now don't worry about it, Patty. Just focus on being okay with Harold." She smiled comfortingly.

Patty sighed and glanced at Helga. She tried to smile too though it was shaky at first. "Helga…were Harold and Rhonda really…not a big deal? The truth, please…" Patty at least had to ask this question from a third, neutral party while she had the chance, she just had to.

Helga's look became serious and she replied to her friend in a similar serious tone, "Absolutely. It was just a silly crush…and it was mostly on her part. He kind of put up with it but that's all. And…he never acted around her the way he acts around you, Patty. Like you're special and really important to him…Truly."

Patty had looked right into Helga's eyes the whole time she had spoken. And she smiled at her now. "Okay. Thanks, Helga…"

"Don't mention it, Patty…" Helga replied, smiling back. Then she sighed, suddenly seeming like her casual fun self again. "Come on, let's both buck up, wait patiently for Laurel and Hardy over there to come back, stuff our faces with dessert and then go home and take hot baths and pretend like our lives aren't full of ridiculous amounts of male-based drama."

Patty chuckled and nodded. "Sounds good to me, Helga."

And so the girls waited patiently for the boys to return so that they could get on with their evening already.

* * *

Meanwhile, with 'Laurel and Hardy'…

"Arnold…don't take this the wrong way but…what the heck did you do to Helga exactly?" a very confused and very, very curious Harold Berman had had to ask his smaller friend as the two of them had found themselves in the bathroom alcove.

At the rather unexpected question, Arnold, already quite frazzled from a few things tonight, blinked and looked almost helpless for a moment, like a man accused of a crime right out of the blue. "Wh-What? I…" Arnold unconsciously backed up against the wall behind him. "But I haven't been doing _anything_ to her!" The reply was more desperate than annoyed…and referred to a larger space of time than just dinner here tonight of course. "I just…she just…" a frustrated pout came to his features and he looked down, recalling those last little digs of hers before all else in his mind…and then he finished, using words not dissimilar to words he had used before in regards to Helga at this very restaurant, "…She just bugs me, okay? And I guess I bug her and…we bug each other. So what?" And then with a little sigh Arnold crossed his arms over his chest and glanced away…face quite rosy.

Harold blinked but then went right back to scowling in perplexity. "_So what?_ So what happened to an hour ago when you two decided to be new friends or whatever and you were telling Helga she looked nice and she was smiling and you were smiling too? I mean…" Harold paused, really considering how best to put what was bothering him before continuing slowly, "…I get why you guys were upset when you first got here—Helga's been ready to pound you all week and then you both realized Patty tricked you into coming here. Okay. And then we're eating for a little bit and I guess you two got used to each other cuz then you two decide to be nice and not fight and to be friends. Okay, that makes sense too. But then you two started acting really, _really_ nice to each other but then now Helga's saying mean stuff to you that I don't even get and you keep saying other mean stuff back to her that I don't even get, and, well…I don't get it! What happened during the last twenty minutes to make you guys hate each other again?" he finally asked to finish things up, sincerely looking to Arnold for an explanation.

Arnold just sighed, still looking away, still blushing and blushing. He barely knew what to say. "N-Nothing happened! We just…it's this private thing that…and she's just very complicated…and I guess I just bug her too." He shrugged, knowing it was a lame explanation and feeling even more frustrated for how lame it had been. _'Helga could have come up with a much better one…Helga always knows the right way to say things…_' The observation uncontrollably popped into his mind and he pouted even more at the continuation of the constant urge he had always found himself having over the course of his young life to find something good in Helga G. Pataki.

"Well, duh, Arnold…"

This reply brought Arnold out of his stubborn thoughts and made him blink and look to Harold.

Harold was just finishing up rolling his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest. He went on, looking at his friend. "Of course you bug Helga, Arnold. Why do you think she's always picking on you the most? I don't know what you do to her exactly but whatever it is you sure must be good at it."

Arnold turned absolutely fiery red and looked down, arms coming to his sides in shyness. Good at…what he did…to Helga…He tried not to think about that idea. "Um…H-Harold?" he sort of squeaked out, doing his best to sound normal, "…Do you have a point?"

Harold scratched his head at the question and then shrugged. "Well, yeah! So you make her feel bugged…but since when does she make you feel bugged too? She almost never bugs you Arnold even though she bugs the heck out of the rest of us all the time—you always act like no matter what it is she does to you it just doesn't bother you that much. But she's definitely been getting to you and bugging you lately at school and now tonight, and it's because she's been picking on you a lot extra so…what did you do to her, Arnold? How'd you bug her enough to make her start making you feel bugged all the time now? The whole thing's starting to get confusing!"

Harold Berman, as a guy, may have been a little self-centered at times…a bit immature as well…arguably gullible…and even a little slow witted…But it had to be remembered that despite all of those tendencies and traits he was still a good, sensitive kid, and also a thirteen-year-old kid who all but had a steady girlfriend at this point. The point was that despite any shortcomings Harold was at a point in his life where at the very least he could finally have the occasional insight about women (at least when the woman in question wasn't his woman). And he'd certainly come up with a crackerjack insight right here and now.

Arnold's embarrassed and startled young mind did its best to wrap itself around all of Harold's very good and valid points.

He swallowed, unable to help one more last ditch effort to get out of his. "H-Harold," Arnold made an attempt at a smile, "I-I'm not sure what you're talking about…I…um…"He could feel the heat in his face building and building and he looked to Harold nervously, knowing it was useless.

And indeed Harold just gave him a dry look. "Arnold…you guys were talking about eating brains. Even I know that something is going on…"

Arnold sighed. Yeah, pretty much no way to explain talking about eating brains without telling the truth. He bit his lip, glanced away and considered. "Harold…" he looked to his friend's eyes again, this time sincerely, "Um…I'm sorry if…if Helga and I have been making dinner uncomfortable for you and Patty at all. The problem is just that I…we, um…I…I did do something to Helga…" The words left his mouth before he could think about them, quietly and seriously, and the sound of them made him pause for just a moment as he realized that…they were arguably true. He _had_ done something to Helga...sort of… "Actually, it's more like I…_didn't_ do something to Helga…for Helga…that I was supposed to do. Twice, now that I think about it…" And it really was true: she had confessed love to him a couple of weeks ago and he had never said anything back to her about it…and it mirrored so well how last Valentine's Day she (as Cecile, but still it was her) had confessed to really liking him and he had never said anything back to her about that either…even though now tonight he had at least admitted to himself that he did like her, very, very much…just like how he had liked her that first night they had ever come here together. "I have to talk to her. But there's never any place private enough to talk. And to be honest…I don't know exactly what to say to her…" Arnold let out a breath, feeling a confusion he had been avoiding come over him again. Really what, what, what was he going to say to her? 'I really, really like you. Okay, well, thanks for the three French dinners together! See you in school tomorrow!' That wasn't an answer you gave to someone who'd grabbed your collar on a rainy rooftop and wrapped her arms around you and given you your first real kiss…from a woman! That wasn't an answer at all and…Arnold's heart stopped. '_I just thought of her as a woman…_' A deep tremor went through him and part of him made it out to be a sort of disgust though he knew disgust wasn't as likeable or as desirable as the real cause of that tremor had been.

"Arnold…"

The sound of his name snapped him out of it and a distressed Arnold looked over to see a casually smiling Harold Berman.

Harold went on, shrugging and still smiling. "That's easy. Just do what you always tell us to do whenever we're afraid of talking to someone or don't know what to say…Just tell her the truth. Come on, Arnold, she's a bit of a pain sometimes but she's nice and kind of cool deep down. She'll be okay with whatever it is. And even if all you can tell her is that you don't know what to say…well, that's better than just saying nothing and ignoring stuff, isn't it? You always tell us to face our problems to make them better, Arnold, so I think even just talking to her about not knowing what to talk about has gotta help something."

Harold smiled at Arnold.

Arnold just looked straight forward with wide eyes.

Harold looked at him curiously for a moment. "Arnold?"

"Hey guys!" Suddenly none other, of course, than Torvald popped onto the scene once again tonight (and the dreamy look and smile were still there on his face). "How's it going? Uh…just wanted to let you know that dessert'll be out soon and that you two have a couple of lovely ladies waiting for you." He chuckled warmly to himself and almost seemed to blush a little! "Anyway, I've gotta get back to the kitchen! See you fellas!" With this that and a little extra spring in his step he trotted off to the doors of the kitchen.

Harold just looked after him in surprise at first and then with a slight scowl. _'She's not YOUR lovely lady, just remember that, Torvald…And why do you look so smug after being over there anyway? What, was she all smiley and happy towards you since I wasn't there. Oh I'll show you…'_ he thought to himself in a touch of anger, his cheeks tinging red at the idea.

Arnold beside him had cheeks tinged red as well, though his were accompanied by his still wide eyes and also a desperate attempt at the moment not to think about Helga as a 'lovely lady' all for him.

"I'll see you back at the table, Arnold. Good luck with, Helga," Harold grumbled and then he stomped his way back over to their dinner table, lost in his own thoughts and situation again.

Arnold meanwhile, just remained where he was for a moment, still blushing, eyes still wide, mind still obviously adrift in thought for the moment.

Just…deal with the problem.

Could it all…this whole thing…really be that simple?

Just stop beating around the bush or waiting to figure out how to say things perfectly to her or trying to say things in a way different from how he meant them or getting lost in fights with her or even getting lost in…flirtation with her…Just talk no matter what even if he didn't know what to say beyond a vague 'I like you very much' and thus had no idea where a calm conversation might go from there?

Arnold sighed. Why not? What did he have to lose? Just bring up the problem directly and simply and quickly…and privately...and admit that he wasn't sure what to say.

He promised himself that he would try it and soon.

'_From now on I think Helga and I need to go on dates alone…No second couple, no me having another date at the same time_…" he blushed a little, "…_just…alone. I think it would be easier if we were alone._' Despite the thought and the intimacy that it suggested (and the fact that he was thinking about _dates_ with _Helga G. Pataki_) the only part of the thought in question that really caused Arnold to blush was the part about thinking about how he had shamelessly kept two dates at once like that last Valentine's Day evening.

Arnold left the bathroom alcove to head back over to his table now.

* * *

Taking his seat across from his date for the evening, Arnold first looked to Harold and Patty to make sure they were okay and that no new conflict had sparked between them (Harold _had_ seemed upset after all as he had been leaving the bathroom area to come back here).

Harold did seem a little grumbly and pouty again, but not much more than before they had left the table, and Patty didn't exactly seem happy again but she wasn't angry and just seemed to be looking down and occasionally to Harold, lost in her own thoughts.

Helga's voice then (almost predictably) interrupted Arnold's observations and brought his attention back to her. Her tone wasn't exactly warm and friendly but it definitely wasn't biting and angry. She seemed to have found a happy medium again. "Hey, you left the table before dessert and actually came back this time. Very impressive, Football Head."

Arnold didn't miss a beat. And he didn't give in to his instinct to banter back and forth with her, not just now at least. He turned to her and smiled, and then before he could lose his nerve, he just went for it, simply and directly. "Helga…if you wouldn't mind could we walk home together after dinner? Please…" It was a very sincere request.

Helga blinked, her smile dropping, feeling almost startled at the sudden question! "I…I-I…um…I…don't…" '_What the heck is wrong with him? I make another joke and now he wants to walk me home?! Crimeny, I can't win with him! I'm nice, he tries to get close to me, I'm mean, he tries to get close to me, I'm civil but sarcastic, he tries to get close to me! Sheesh!' _"Arnold…" she barely knew what to say to him anymore, he just wasn't getting it. She didn't want his constant companionship, especially if it might be the result of pity, she just wanted to be left alone and to be friends but not bosom buddies or anything. In lieu of him not loving her back, was all of that so much to ask?

"Please…" left Arnold softly once more and this time as Helga looked into his eyes they shone with so much green jellybean warmth and caring that…oh darn it she couldn't help herself.

Helga sighed. "O-Okay, Arnold…" finally escaped her in a breath. She looked down playing with the rim of her water glass. Still, she didn't want to seem too 'easy' about all of this… "It doesn't matter to me…" she tacked on quietly. Anyway, maybe if they walked home she could explain things to him once and for all and be done with it already.

Arnold winced a tiny bit at Helga's finishing words, but he at least took heart from the fact that his offer had been accepted. He smiled a little and nodded in her direction. "Thank you, Helga." He looked down now too.

Helga swallowed and tried to smile a little herself. "You're welcome, Arnold."

There was a soft silence between them.

Harold and Patty, meanwhile, had stopped any awkward near-returning of their fight and observed their two young friends during this small conversation of theirs…and now they both smiled a little, each feeling like something had been settled on the other side of the table and unable to ignore the ease in tension all around that it brought.

Just then the front door of Chez Paris opened and a certain someone walked in.

And dessert was just about to be brought out, by the way.

The next chapter involves a surprise guest, a few expected guests, and a fire.

Enjoy.

* * *

**A/N: **

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter :) Things'll wrap up at the end of the next chapter and then maybe there'll be an epilogue I think. As for an update I really don't know when I can give you all a realistic date for one-sometime in the summer maybe? I'm sorry, it would be sooner but I've still got a semester of school left like I said and also LTBH is my priority right now to finish up so that I can start giving regular attention to all of my other stories. But I appreciate your patience and thank you all so much again for reading :)

Happy Reading! And Happy New Year!

~Azure129 aka Jenna


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